Feeling differently towards older son

[Anonymous]

DS1 has never been an easy child. He's almost 6. Strong willed, does not listen, defiant, and in general has a honey badger attitude.

DS2, 3, is the opposite. Chill and easy. He has a strong preference for me, always has. Lately he's been even more affectionate, requesting snuggles and wanting to hold my hand more.

DS1 has always had strong chemistry with H. At 3 months, his entire face would light up when his dad held him. He's been H's little shadow forever.

Even before covid I was worried about the difference in my bond with DS1 vs DS2. But with the pandemic, DS1 is home all day while his little brother has been attending daycare most of the week. H has to go into the office but I've been WFH. I struggle with DS1 daily over online school and discipline.

I'd really want a chance to miss him, like if I were still going into the office, I'd be so glad to see him as the end of the day.

I'm worried that I'm favoring one child over the other, which is made worse by the current situation. Does anyone have any advice?

[Anonymous]

I mean, call us when DS2 is 6 and you have to try to get him to do virtual school all day.

Are there activities that go well for you and DS1? Try to do those a lot.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he also may need a break from you, too. (And I'm not saying that in a snarky way.) Could DH WFH for a week and handle DS1's school so you can have a break? Or can you hire a college student or someone to come PT a few days a week to help with schooling and play with him?