Anxiety

[Anonymous]

I did two rounds of ivf. I’m 40, blocked tube, DOR. First cycle had 4 embryos pgs tested, 1 to transfer that didn’t stick. Second cycle had only 2 embryos make to blast and tested, both abnormal. While waiting to do a third cycle, I find out I’m pregnant! Very early currently at 5 weeks. We are still shocked and I have a lot of anxiety about not being able to test this embryo just yet.

Side note: I wandered over to the expecting pages And wow. Some of the comments over there.

[Anonymous]

Congratulations, OP!

My first pregnancy was from an FET after three years of dealing with infertility. I have issues with anxiety to begin with, and I was completely freaked out by finally being pregnant. The embryo was untested, so I spent the majority of my first 20 weeks just waiting for something to go wrong. Everything was fine, baby was born completely healthy. We spent another 3 years trying for #2, but all of our transfers either failed or resulted in a loss. We assumed we were one and done. I had a surprise pregnancy at 41 and figured, based on age and history, that it wouldnt stick. She's a month old now.
Take some deep breaths and try to do whatever you can to relax...go for walks, get caught up in a good book, talk to friends and family, binge a tv show. At 5 weeks, I assume you haven't had a first ultrasound yet. Even though my second was a natural conception, my RE was willing to see me for betas and an early ultrasound, and that helped. Just take it one day at a time.

[Anonymous]

Congrats, OP! I can totally understand your anxiety in this situation.

BUT...aside from not abusing illegal drugs and drinking alcohol...there's literally nothing you can do to improve or worsen this pregnancy's chances of success. So much of it was pre-determined long ago. So, I agree with what the PP said - lean on your fertility clinic's resources. Get the scans and the bloodwork - information is power. Try to take good care of yourself. We're rooting for you!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for all your kind words. Yes, I and husband both deal with issues of anxiety so I’m trying to take it one step at a time. Had bloodwork done this morning and hopefully hcg has doubled.

I think it is helpful for me to know that others can be freaked out by this. Most often times women don’t talk about the anxiety that goes along with pregnancy. So thank you again

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, what you are feeling is so normal. https://www.catstrawbridge.com/finally-pregnant-podcast
Highly recommend her episode on anxiety...this is a good podcast about pregnancy after infertility and loss.

[Anonymous]

Thank you! I will look up the podcast

[Anonymous]

It *is* super anxiety-inducing-- for me, it feels like every small bit of good news just means more stuff to worry about? i find it very difficult to relax into cheerful hope.

In reality, though, the biggest decision you'll need to make in the next several weeks is whether you want to do a CVS. *hug*

[Anonymous]

How wonderful! Congrats!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It *is* super anxiety-inducing-- for me, it feels like every small bit of good news just means more stuff to worry about? i find it very difficult to relax into cheerful hope.

In reality, though, the biggest decision you'll need to make in the next several weeks is whether you want to do a CVS. *hug*

I waver between wanting to have all the information or wondering if focus too much on the betas cause more anxiety. I mean, there are a lot of women who don’t know these numbers and have healthy pregnancies and births.
Sigh. Yes cvs vs amino. Trying to read as much as I can

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I had secondary infertility and made a lot of friends with primary infertility. The anxiety is SO SO normal, even for regular pregnancies. It's heightened even more after infertility when you KNOW how much can go wrong and are already expecting the worst. Hang in there and hugs and congrats.

If more information like betas and early scans would help, then do it. 5-6 weeks is far enough to see development on the ultrasound that can give you a clue about whether it's developing normally. And betas wouldn't be super helpful at this point, so don't worry about those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had secondary infertility and made a lot of friends with primary infertility. The anxiety is SO SO normal, even for regular pregnancies. It's heightened even more after infertility when you KNOW how much can go wrong and are already expecting the worst. Hang in there and hugs and congrats.

If more information like betas and early scans would help, then do it. 5-6 weeks is far enough to see development on the ultrasound that can give you a clue about whether it's developing normally. And betas wouldn't be super helpful at this point, so don't worry about those.

Thank you! I had a sonogram yesterday and it's there and seems to be developing. 5 weeks 5 days! I feel cautiously optimistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had secondary infertility and made a lot of friends with primary infertility. The anxiety is SO SO normal, even for regular pregnancies. It's heightened even more after infertility when you KNOW how much can go wrong and are already expecting the worst. Hang in there and hugs and congrats.

If more information like betas and early scans would help, then do it. 5-6 weeks is far enough to see development on the ultrasound that can give you a clue about whether it's developing normally. And betas wouldn't be super helpful at this point, so don't worry about those.

Thank you! I had a sonogram yesterday and it's there and seems to be developing. 5 weeks 5 days! I feel cautiously optimistic.

Hey, PP here. Congrats on your ultrasound, that's a great first step! You should be able to see a heartbeat next time and your odds of live birth go way up at that point.

Aaaaand, I just got an absolutely surprise positive too and am 4 weeks exactly today. First beta in a few days. Speaking of anxiety, I'm TOTALLY freaking out, so right there with you, friend! I've had bad betas, and good betas that have turned out badly anyways, so I'm not even at the point of cautious optimism yet, but trying to stay distracted and not overthink things. Please keep updating, I'd love to know how you're doing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had secondary infertility and made a lot of friends with primary infertility. The anxiety is SO SO normal, even for regular pregnancies. It's heightened even more after infertility when you KNOW how much can go wrong and are already expecting the worst. Hang in there and hugs and congrats.

If more information like betas and early scans would help, then do it. 5-6 weeks is far enough to see development on the ultrasound that can give you a clue about whether it's developing normally. And betas wouldn't be super helpful at this point, so don't worry about those.

Thank you! I had a sonogram yesterday and it's there and seems to be developing. 5 weeks 5 days! I feel cautiously optimistic.

Hey, PP here. Congrats on your ultrasound, that's a great first step! You should be able to see a heartbeat next time and your odds of live birth go way up at that point.

Aaaaand, I just got an absolutely surprise positive too and am 4 weeks exactly today. First beta in a few days. Speaking of anxiety, I'm TOTALLY freaking out, so right there with you, friend! I've had bad betas, and good betas that have turned out badly anyways, so I'm not even at the point of cautious optimism yet, but trying to stay distracted and not overthink things. Please keep updating, I'd love to know how you're doing!

Op here. OMG congrats! So exciting and nerve wrecking at the same time. Same to you about the updates! It feels good to know we’re not line in feeling all these feelings.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I had another ultrasound yesterday and the embryo is measuring small and no heartbeat detected. Some bleeding visible in the ultrasound but i havne't had any bleeding. Sigh. I am hoping it may be too early to see the fetal heartbeat. Trying to stay positive. I will go back for another ultrasound on Monday and hopefully will hear some good news.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I had another ultrasound yesterday and the embryo is measuring small and no heartbeat detected. Some bleeding visible in the ultrasound but i havne't had any bleeding. Sigh. I am hoping it may be too early to see the fetal heartbeat. Trying to stay positive. I will go back for another ultrasound on Monday and hopefully will hear some good news.

Fingers crossed for you, OP. That wait sounds totally agonizing. How far were you at this scan and what will you be at the next one? My first scan is in 5 days and I’m just so full of dread. My breasts hurt less than a few days ago and I’m less nauseous. If/when the scan comes back poorly, I’m just going to be crushed. This is so hard, it’s unfair it’s so easy for some and so hard for others.

-PP