Social Distancing Divide due to job

[Anonymous]

My husband, kids, and I have been sheltering in place the past few months and we’ve been totally on the same page with it. Doing some social distance visits with friends now and I’ve been pretty calm with slowly doing safe expansion as needed with the right pracautions. We both work full time from home but now my husband is headed back to the office (by necessity). He has to start being in crowds and in rooms with more than a couple folks and not all that will be six feet apart (relates to community action and conversations around the current police brutality and political movements - think politico type communications).. Anyway, so he doesn’t take this lightly as it’s important work but realizes he cannot practice social distancing to the level I’m comfortable with for our family. Especially if we all want to keep having grandparents in our lives right now and we value that for myself and the kids. We are considering doing a temporary separation of living for him until he can quarantine and rejoin our pod. Is this crazy? Should we all stick it out together and take on the risk? Looking for feedback and experiences.

[Anonymous]

This is crazy.

[Anonymous]

If everyone is on board, sure - why not. If the grandparents don’t have any underlying issues, you all should be ok but I understand if you want to be safer than sorry.

[Anonymous]

So you’d rather that your children spend time with their grandparents than their own father?

Yea, that’s crazy.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. My boyfriend is an essential worker so we have not had the luxury of fully quarantining. We do otherwise though as I am high risk. We don’t go out except for masked walks and we get groceries delivered. We sleep in separate bedrooms and use separate bathrooms and spend time together ten feet apart masked in the back yard. We also have separated into mine and his the different common spaces. We only have one kitchen but we try not to be in the kitchen at the same time and I wear a mask when I am in the kitchen. Really he is the one who should wear a mask not me but he won’t. Anyway. That is how we are dealing with it for now. It sucks and since I still have some exposure I don’t go see my parents. If you have the means to do so I don’t think it’s crazy to live apart for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If everyone is on board, sure - why not. If the grandparents don’t have any underlying issues, you all should be ok but I understand if you want to be safer than sorry.

Huh? Simply being over sixty is an underlying issue so unless these are your grandparents, they are inherently at risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If everyone is on board, sure - why not. If the grandparents don’t have any underlying issues, you all should be ok but I understand if you want to be safer than sorry.

Huh? Simply being over sixty is an underlying issue so unless these are your grandparents, they are inherently at risk.

young grandparents, not your

[Anonymous]

I don't really see why those conversation have to happen in person, but if you both consider it essential, I would just accept the slightly higher risk. Grandparents can make their own decisions about whether they see you. Personally I think it's a bad idea to put grandparents ahead of a spouse (unless it was an extreme situation where the grandparent was dependent on you and had no other options for help).

[Anonymous]

This sounds crazy and you do too. How can people honestly say quarantine is a thing anymore given the massive rallies and protests? Covid? What covid.

[Anonymous]

How long is the separation for and is he ok with not having six for months?

[Anonymous]

I would not. It’s not good for your marriage and putting the grandparents (likely your parents) ahead of DH’s relationship with you and his children is a very selfish decision. Are you or kids high risk? How would you like to be told you can’t see your kids for weeks?

[Anonymous]

No offense, but you have seriously messed up priorities if you prefer your kid gets to spend time with her grandparents than her own father.

In your situation I would just wait to see the grandparents. The rest of you are not high risk. Cutting a parent out of the family unit in favor of a grandparent is flat out weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If everyone is on board, sure - why not. If the grandparents don’t have any underlying issues, you all should be ok but I understand if you want to be safer than sorry.

Huh? Simply being over sixty is an underlying issue so unless these are your grandparents, they are inherently at risk.

Nope, data does not support that. Sorry to burst your bubble. If you are 60-65 and don't have heart/lung issues, you should be fine - practice good hygiene, etc.

[Anonymous]

This is crazy. We are going to be in phase 2!!!!

[Anonymous]

I would stick it out with your husband. If at some point, he's exposed to someone with Covid, then separate spaces for 2 weeks. He could do things like take his temperature daily.