Trying again - how soon is too soon?

[Anonymous]

We lost our daughter at 20 weeks last October due to incompetent cervix and chorioamnionitis. It was the darkest day of our lives, but we are working through it and are trying to focus on the future. We would like to have one more baby (we have a 4 year old son) and our MFM advised us to wait until June to start trying again. He's pretty conservative in his treatment and he wants to make sure I take enough time to recover physically and emotionally from the loss. He is confident that with a cerclage and bedrest, we will have a happy ending next time. We love him and we fully intend to follow his advice, so we are using condoms in the meantime. My question is this: what if I get pregnant sooner? We don't intend to, but strange things can happen and I'm a worst-case-scenario person. I've had two normal periods since the loss and I am taking my prenatal vitamins. Is there any physical risk if I were to somehow get pregnant sooner (aside from my doctor killing me - ha!)

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.

I nearly lost our twins at 20 weeks, had a cerclage and was on strict bedrest for the remainder of my pregnancy. The good news is that you know you have this challenge so you could have an early cerclage and perscribed bedrest at home or in hospital to ensure a healthy pregnancy. Cerclages have risks too so I would recommend choosing a doctor who has extensive experience.

Bedrest is very challenging and you'll need to strictly follow doctors orders. I luckily didn't have any other children, but my husband traveled during the week and we had to set up a support systems (dog walker, meals, visitors, laptop, TIVO, etc...). You will need help with your 4yo and other household duties. Now is a good time to work out those details. Check out the website for Sidelines, a support organization for bedresting moms and their families. http://www.sidelines.org/

All my best to you...take care

[Anonymous]

I am so, so sorry for your loss. You didn't have a c-section did you? I know drs. recommend waiting 9 months after a c-section delivery to insure that you are completely healed. Otherwise, I imagine the wait time your doctor gave you was based on both emotional and physical readiness, and I doubt there would be a medical problem with you getting pregnant sooner. of course I am not a dr, hopefully an ob out there will chime in.

Good luck to you and your family.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks for the kind responses. I delivered our daughter vaginally at 20 weeks last October. I had a c-section with my son in 2005 after 2 and a half hours of pushing and very little progress. MFM believes that all the pressure on my cervix may have weakened it and resulted in the incompetent cervix. I will definitely check out the Sidelines website, and I understand there are a number of books out there that deal with how to survive bedrest. I am nervous about being "high risk" (never thought I would be since the pregnancy with my son was textbook perfect up until delivery time), but I am blessed to have a great husband, very supportive family and friends, and a doctor we trust. We'll give it one more try and hope for the best!

[Anonymous]

OP -- I am sorry for your loss. Literature says six month minimum birth/conception interval is advisable. But I had got pregnant with my 2nd when my youngest was 4 months old and the 2nd was healthy as a horse. I think if you got pregnant before June I doubt it would be much of a risk at all. Good luck.