Divorced Parents with 50/50

[Anonymous]

How often do you contact your kids when they're with the other parent and why? Is it working or not working? I'm trying to get a better understanding of what is the norm here when it comes to access to children.

[Anonymous]

It depends on many factors. Was cheating involved, is there a lot of animosity? How old are the kids?

If it's a friendly divorce there shouldn't be a problem. If both parents put the needs of the kids first instead of jumping into other relationships that also makes a difference.

[Anonymous]

My ex and I don't have 50/50 but they talk to whichever parent whose house they're not sleeping at, each evening.

[Anonymous]

Kids can call either parent any time.

[Anonymous]

I’ve dated several divorced dads with fifty fifty.

One dad, he had a teenage girl and nine year old son. He was able to text with the girls since she had her own phone. His ex did not want him communicating with the son who did not have a phone so he had not contact with his son every other day.

Now I am dating someone on a three four three schedule. He seems to text with his kids for logistical reasons sometimes. Now he checks in with them for homeschooling reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve dated several divorced dads with fifty fifty.

One dad, he had a teenage girl and nine year old son. He was able to text with the girls since she had her own phone. His ex did not want him communicating with the son who did not have a phone so he had not contact with his son every other day.

Now I am dating someone on a three four three schedule. He seems to text with his kids for logistical reasons sometimes. Now he checks in with them for homeschooling reasons.

I meant to say every other week for the first scenario. He wanted to talk to son on the phone but could not

[Anonymous]

Kids have open access to both parents. We believe they should talk to other parent as often as they want (kids are 12 and 14 and have their own phones).

Generally, at least a text is sent daily.

[Anonymous]

Daily Facetime. Working so far.

[Anonymous]

When DD was younger, both parents tried to connect about every other day when she was with the other parent. Now that DD is a teen and has her own phone, I'd be lucky if she wanted to talk once a week. We do text occasionally though.

[Anonymous]

13- year old texts or calls if he needs something.
DC is at my sister's right now in DC suburbs. I have no reason to interrupt their daily activities. I can see where they are on 360. DC is not a mama's boy or papa's boy. Loves begin in their house with big back yard and doesn't miss either parent.
DC and I used to live with my sister when I went through a divorce. DC is more my sister's kid and has it's own room in their house. Haven't seen DC since end of March.

[Anonymous]

How old are the kids?

My 11-year-old spends 3 days at Dad's every week. Dad and I are very amicable/friendly. Honestly, there's a lot of calling or texting back and forth, on both sides. I might go days without speaking to my daughter if there's no need, but if I have a question that needs an answer, I'll call or text. Same goes for her, or her dad.

If she goes away for a longer time, like a week or more vacation (which happens 2-3 times a year), I'll try to touch base every couple of days, a quick text or call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:13- year old texts or calls if he needs something.
DC is at my sister's right now in DC suburbs. I have no reason to interrupt their daily activities. I can see where they are on 360. DC is not a mama's boy or papa's boy. Loves begin in their house with big back yard and doesn't miss either parent.
DC and I used to live with my sister when I went through a divorce. DC is more my sister's kid and has it's own room in their house. Haven't seen DC since end of March.

Parent your kid.

[Anonymous]

Before DC had a phone and was younger, I FaceTimed him nightly before bed and read to him like a I had done every night since he was a toddler. EX DH rarely called or FaceTimed DC unless it was a Holiday or something. Now DC is a teen, I have 80-90% custody now and we will text or call if apart for more than a day or two, or if he needs something.

[Anonymous]

I’ve divorced when the kids were 4 and 6, they are 18 and 20 now. The rule always was that they can reach out to the other parent and the other parent can call/text them whenever, but in practice both me and my ex rarely talked to the kids when they were with the other parent, and usually it was to quickly confirm something.

The ex and I were never particularly friendly.

[Anonymous]

It is literally in our agreement that we cannot interfere with other parent’s communications during non-custodian time.

Mine are teens and communication of pretty free flowing all the time. It isn’t an issue at all. For all our failings as a couple, we never fought or fight about custody or kid things.