Best way to support a close friend who lost her brother suddenly

[Anonymous]

My close friend lost her 28 year old brother because of an opioid overdose and I feel helpless about how to support her properly in this period, especially considering I cannot even go to her house to just be there physically. Should i call/text a few times a day? She is usually a very social and receptive person but has been understandably distraught. I do not want to avoid/minimize contact just because it is a difficult topic and want to support her desperately but am not sure how. Any insights would be very helpful. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I would call rather than text, ask how she is doing and take her lead. I think for this kind of thing the human voice is needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would call rather than text, ask how she is doing and take her lead. I think for this kind of thing the human voice is needed.

Added thought . . . when I was 14 I lost a brother to suicide, which in those days (it was VERY long ago) people absolutely did not discuss, so any conversations that had to occur around his death avoided the reality entirely. That silence did a lot of damage over a lot of years. I would think--hope--that people are beyond that and your friend is finding empathy from other people, but if not she especially needs that.

[Anonymous]

We are at the four year anniversary of my brother's death - drug overdose. I really appreciated the calls and texts. One of my friends would stay up half the night with me even though she had to work the next day just so I could talk. It was so wonderful to have her.

Also, I really appreciated people not focusing on the cause of death. My brother may have been a drug addict, but he was still my brother and I really loved him. Other than calling and texting, there isn't much you can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would call rather than text, ask how she is doing and take her lead. I think for this kind of thing the human voice is needed.

Added thought . . . when I was 14 I lost a brother to suicide, which in those days (it was VERY long ago) people absolutely did not discuss, so any conversations that had to occur around his death avoided the reality entirely. That silence did a lot of damage over a lot of years. I would think--hope--that people are beyond that and your friend is finding empathy from other people, but if not she especially needs that.

The “silence” is very upsetting to me.
How can we address the tragedy of suicide if people can’t talk about it?

[Anonymous]

Don’t contact multiple times a day. That meets your needs, not hers.

ASK her what she wants.

Then respect that.

(This is coming from someone who lost my brother suddenly in April)

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment. I am sorry for your losses also.