Is a nanny the right solution?

[Anonymous]

Burnt out caring for toddler and infant while working full time from our small home (900 sq ft). We are planning to hire a nanny which is something I would have never dreamed of (we did daycare and liked it, but are concerned about risk and serial opening and closings plus it isn't open yet). We found someone good but I am worried it will be so cramped (even if spouse works elsewhere which is a pretty safe option) and I am now used to being with my kids all the time. Are we making a mistake? Or is this the right move? We don't have to dip into savings but we are no longer able to save significantly (yes I know we are lucky!!!). Part of me thinks daycare might be better but .... I get scared. Nothing feels right but I guess that is the new normal.

[Anonymous]

It really depends on who you have. How did you find her? Can you pay her a living wage? How much experience does she have?

Do you have totally separate work space?

[Anonymous]

This is a better option for your sanity. Daycares are normally a cesspool -- covid19 is going to be a disaster. They are going to be opening and closing all the time and you are going to be left in a lurch. This will create consistency for you and the kids. Anyone who can afford this should consider it.

[Anonymous]

Both my husband and I are working from home full time with a 9mo and 2 year old. The kids figure out the routine quickly. The one tactical suggestion is keep drinks and snacks in your bedroom and only come out to the kitchen when the nanny has the kids elsewhere, at least initially. You need to let her get established and the kids to get in the new routine without you constantly causing them to act out for you. Once there is a routine in place you'll likely be able to come in and out more easily.

But yes, a nanny is the answer

[Anonymous]

We are "daycare people" hiring a nanny for the first time. She starts tomorrow. I am really hopeful, I think it will be so good for my early elementary kid to have someone else. And so good for me to work normal hours!

[Anonymous]

What other solution is there?

[Anonymous]

We switched to daycare a year and a half ago when our second arrived, and we're so happy that we did in light of the current situation! Agree with the PP upthread who suggested that you stay out of sight if at all possible at the beginning. I think it would be super difficult to have a nanny around if you're working within sight lines of the children.

[Anonymous]

We have a nanny but a bigger house. You need to keep your routine the same and be out of sight. I love having a nanny. Let's me get concentrated work done. She leaves at 3:30 so plenty of time to hang out more with the kids and get more work don't later. Mine still nap so that's when I do lunch for me.

[Anonymous]

Just make sure your providing a decent wage and full time hours, that way she won’t need to look elsewhere for more work.

[Anonymous]

This is the right decision so that you will have consistent uninterrupted care with less germ exposure.

But also it's pretty great generally. You can ask her to take on some minor household tasks too like dishes, laundry and general tidying. It is so nice at the end of the work day to have those things done and just focus on the kids. Also, not only no commute, but you don't have to get the kids dressed for the day and out the door. Basically all of your time with them during the week can be real quality time.

Agree with PPs regarding having a private space to work and giving nanny room to do her job. Try not to emerge except for agreed to times like lunch. If you hear the kids yelling or upset, don't intervene unless you think someone's actually in danger. Nanny needs to learn your kids - and frankly, you are paying well for this time and you should use it to work (or treat yourself to some self-care if you have downtime). I text with the nanny when we need to communicate during the day after "dropoff" or before "pickup."

The day the nanny started was the day I felt like I could really get through COVID for the long haul. We're also in a small home, but the key has been giving the nanny and kids free run of the house except for work spaces.

[Anonymous]

Yes. With the right nanny this is way to go. You will need to sequester yourself so your kids don't think they have access to you during the work day. Treat your nanny well, and everyone will be better for it!