Need a daycare reality check

[Anonymous]

DD started daycare this week and I can't figure out if I am just a control freak first time mom or not. When I pick her up, the 'log' for the day has sleeping and eating only. Nothing about her general mood, what she did, - nothing. I feel like I should know how her day went in more detail - I mean, did she stare at the wall all day?

Also, she is 3 1/2 months and seems to eat and sleep A LOT there. Is that normal? I get the sense that they feed her anytime she cries and then put her down.

Am I being crazy?

[Anonymous]

You're never crazy. You just want to know about your child, and I'm a big believer in trusting your mother instincts on these things.

Having said that, what they've written sounds pretty normal. I usually asked at the end of the day how my son's moods were, etc. After a week or so, I'd start getting pretty regular notes jotted at the bottom of the form about whether my son was happy or was turning away food, etc. There's not a ton to report when they are that young, and honestly I found the chat at the end of the day to be much more helpful. Plus you get to know the caregivers better that way.

[Anonymous]

I had a different experience, in that I got lots of notes from our daycare about what DS did, even when he was that young. They talked about songs and stories that the caregivers did, if he did tummy time, what motor skills they were working on (at that age, more like "kicking", and reaching for things, etc), etc. However, friends of mine were at a very similar daycare center with equally as good care and they didn't get notes anywhere near what we did.

[Anonymous]

3.5 months is a little young - she is likely not doing many activities!

We started at home daycare and they always circled - music - which we always joked about (it meant they had music on and we would joke that she was getting musical instruction).

Honestly, at that age I just wanted to make sure she was held and hugged and I was confident she was. You may just ask them, was she fussy, or could you let me know if she was fussy, etc.

We are now at a Bright Horizons at work and honestly, at 18 months old we don't that many written details - lots of detail about her diapering, nap, eating and drinking, but the activities are verbally given at the end of the day, and written on a big board - Today We Did....

[Anonymous]

The first week my 4 month old son was in daycare, he slept excessively. However, as he acclimated to it, he started spending more time awake and thus, there was more info on his sheets regarding "activities"- reading stories, playing peek-a-boo, tummy time etc. It may just be that your child is still getting used to daycare. I was also worried that my son would just be staring at a wall all day, but I dropped by unannounced several times, and they were usually playing with him or holding him. Maybe you could try doing the same thing, if the daycare is near your work.

[Anonymous]

I think you all are being ridiculous and anal about it. There are a lot of moms on this group that are so uptight and criticizing. You wory about your child staring at the wall or laugh about music time for a baby. Give these providers and centers SOME credit. I think you need to loosen up.

No place is going to be better than if you stayed home yourself, so if so many worries and complaints then do it. I think it is sad to knock the person who is willing to be around these kids up to 12 hours a day when the parent isnt even around them but maybe a couple hours if that. Most are probably taken home, fed and thrown in bed.

Loosen up people. give your providers some credit. Daycare isnt a glamourous job, it doesnt pay nowhere near what it is worth and can be a stressful job when having to deal with kids all day and then parents who do nothing but complain.

[Anonymous]

We've been at a place that provided lots of paperwork, but to be honest, I prefer them to spend the time looking after the kids than filling in paper work that apparently pleases the parents.

[Anonymous]

Try to chat them up every day and they will tell you all about what she does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you all are being ridiculous and anal about it. There are a lot of moms on this group that are so uptight and criticizing. You wory about your child staring at the wall or laugh about music time for a baby. Give these providers and centers SOME credit. I think you need to loosen up.

No place is going to be better than if you stayed home yourself, so if so many worries and complaints then do it. I think it is sad to knock the person who is willing to be around these kids up to 12 hours a day when the parent isnt even around them but maybe a couple hours if that. Most are probably taken home, fed and thrown in bed.

Loosen up people. give your providers some credit. Daycare isnt a glamourous job, it doesnt pay nowhere near what it is worth and can be a stressful job when having to deal with kids all day and then parents who do nothing but complain.

Are you serious? I'm guessing you ARE a daycare worker, a bitter one at that. If I could stay at home with my child then I would but since I can't I'm at daycare. Just because I use a daycare doesn't mean I drop her off and don't care - not all daycares are great so I wouldn't be a responsible parent if I just ASSUMED they were doing xyz with her.

Crawl back in your hole.

[Anonymous]

To all of the non-nasty PP's, thank you for your responses - I really appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

No place is going to be better than if you stayed home yourself

For me, this is the most false statement ever. My baby is thriving big time in daycare. The leads are all college grads and most of them have early childhood degrees. I have a BBA and while I am in love with my baby I am pretty clueless about teaching him stuff. I try but it doesn't seem to take. These kind, loving, generous people have him walking, high-fiving, clapping, dancing, etc etc. I love my daycare and so does my BABY. He claps and says "YAY" when I take him.

This is not a dig at SAHMs btw. I totally respect you, I just know I need some help b/c I feel clueless! Flame on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No place is going to be better than if you stayed home yourself

For me, this is the most false statement ever. My baby is thriving big time in daycare. The leads are all college grads and most of them have early childhood degrees. I have a BBA and while I am in love with my baby I am pretty clueless about teaching him stuff. I try but it doesn't seem to take. These kind, loving, generous people have him walking, high-fiving, clapping, dancing, etc etc. I love my daycare and so does my BABY. He claps and says "YAY" when I take him.

This is not a dig at SAHMs btw. I totally respect you, I just know I need some help b/c I feel clueless! Flame on.

Last I checked, it didnt think it took college grads with early childhood degrees to teach a child how to walk, high five, to clap, dance, etc etc. That is a pretty stupid statement. Any idiot can teach a child that. Even a mom who stays home with their child who thinks they have no idea how to *teach*. When a child is in ChildCARE that is just what it is. Safe care while you work. The learning is an added plus.

[Anonymous]

Wow 14:13 those were examples. you are nasty.

[Anonymous]

Ummm...to the last poster, I think that maybe you haven't thought about what goes into teaching children anything. It seems simple to you, but think about it this way. It's not you who is learning, it is the child. The teacher needs to know how to teach these things to a little person who has no other point of reference. Most providers consider the learning aspect of childcare to be a part of the entire package, not just an added bonus. And I don't think that it's a bad thing for parents to send their children to daycare even if they don't need to, because the opportunity to have their child be able to socialize with other children and to learn is a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Whoops, not last poster, but the one at 14:13.