Leave nanny share?

[Anonymous]

We recently added a new family to our nanny share. My DD is 10 months and the new baby is 5 months old. We loved our last share partner, but they unexpectedly had to move out of state for family reasons.

The new family seems really nice, and the new baby is really cute and sweet. But she scream-cries so much and wants to be held all the time. She also basically doesn’t nap. Our poor nanny is a saint, and although she’s young and energetic, she has to be exhausted. We host the share and I’m closed in my office working from home right now, so I’m hearing the whole thing. I’m telling you, this baby cries like crazy. One more wrinkle to this situation is that a mutual friend connected our families.

This baby cries way more than I think is normal for a 5 month old. Our older kid was in a share as well and we never had this issue.

I’m very concerned that my daughter isn’t getting enough attention because our nanny is constantly having to tend to the other baby. Additionally, our DD (and the nanny!) have to be around a screaming baby all the time which is not a good environment.

We’ve been in the share with the other family for 2 months. I kept thinking it would get better, but it hasn’t. Should we stay in the share with this family?

Does anyone have any recommendations about what I should do next or how I should go about discussing this with the other family? This is such a difficult situation.

[Anonymous]

This is really tough. Do you know the other family well? What are you going to say to them? If it were me and my baby, I’d probably leave the share.

[Anonymous]

How recent is “recent?” The baby might need to adjust to a new caregiver and less holding, etc.

Do you know that your daughter’s needs are being shortchanged? Or you just imagine that it is probably happening? A good nanny will ensure that isn’t happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How recent is “recent?” The baby might need to adjust to a new caregiver and less holding, etc.

Do you know that your daughter’s needs are being shortchanged? Or you just imagine that it is probably happening? A good nanny will ensure that isn’t happening.

Agreed. Part of the reason the baby may be crying is because nanny is giving your daughter the attention. Unfortunately some babies need to be held constantly or have similar issues that don't make them a prime candidate for a nanny share.

[Anonymous]

Talk to the nanny first and ask if she’s exhausted. Ask if she has enough time for your daughter. Also ask if she thinks the baby cries an abnormal amount and, if so, if she’s said anything to the parents. I’m wondering if that baby needs reflux meds or has a dairy allergy. Solve that and then stay in the share.

[Anonymous]

This is the same person who posted before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the same person who posted before.

I had the same thought.

[Anonymous]

The 5 month old needs to be at home. Period.