When do kids start using oven/stove without close supervision?

[Anonymous]

I'm putting this here because I'm interested in everyday answers, not only answers from people who spend a lot of time in the kitchen with their kids, like I'd get in the Food section.

I'm not talking about kids who love to cook or bake and be in the kitchen so you've been teaching and showing them safety all along.

I'm talking about kids who have never been interested in cooking but need to start being more self-reliant (AKA, mom needs to work; get your own food, kid and hey, this is a great time to teach you).

Background to this is my DH is extremely risk-averse when it comes to our kids. We have had multiple conversations/disagreements on when they are ready to do or learn xyz. He grew up in a household where everything was done for him, which has not served him well as an adult. I, on the other hand, was a latchkey kid who was cooking at 8-9, and taking care of a younger sibling while parents worked. So I think both of our sense of what is normal/expected is extreme in opposite directions.

We've got a gas stove that I never let my nearly 12 year old and 9 year old use. I showed my older DS how to safely take something out of the oven and we each had one oven mitt while I showed him. It only needed one hand to pull out, which was fine, except after pulling it out, my son for the briefest second touched the pan with his other hand. He said ouch and that was it. I had him put his hand under cold water for a minute and it didn't leave a mark and my DS thought it was no big deal. Lesson to me: Have the kid use 2 mitts because he's still learning. Lesson to kid: don't touch hot pans! However, DH was VERY upset that "I burned our kid" and doesn't want him in the kitchen anymore.

So, what's typical? When can I say, go heat up that pizza in the oven and expect that to go well.

[Anonymous]

I don't think there's a particular age for this. Even adults who are not used to using kitchen appliances get accidents. So, the answer to your question, I guess based on my experience while growing up, is when they are more confident and have basic knowledge of how things work/ proper knowledge on safety precautions, which you will only know as you supervise them.

I've had cuts, scrapes and burns when I was younger, and learning, I think it's just part of the process.

[Anonymous]

You put so many provisos in your OP that no one can answer you. Not people who have kids who like baking, not people who spend time in the kitchen with their kids. Who else is going to have a kid open the oven in reality? None.

[Anonymous]

My 7yo can make scrambled eggs and cheese quesadilla (tortilla + cheese) on our gas stove, mostly unsupervised (although I am nearby and usually turn the stove on). She hasn't taken anything out of the oven yet, mostly because I'm not sure she'd be strong enough to lift it out of the oven onto the counter. Small burn like your son got wouldn't bother me. I'd run it under cold water, and he'd learn not to touch a hot pan.

[Anonymous]

My 9 year old son makes himself quesadillas but I’m right there. My 12 year old daughter bakes a fair bit, but if it’s something very heavy I might take it our of the oven (she puts it in) because I had a painful burn in recent years and I’m a little skittish about it.

Ask dh what he truly believes is the worst case scenario. It’s good to get them used to things. Does he not let them use knives?

[Anonymous]

I started staying home alone after school at age 11. I was allowed to use the microwave. No oven, stove top or knives.

Around age 12/13 my mom would have me start the crock pot or put a casserole in the oven. Around age 12/13 is also when I started babysitting and I would make box Mac and cheese on the stove top or frozen pizza for the kids for dinner (it was the 1980s). I didn’t know how to use a gas stove and I remember a mom giving me a quick lesson before heading out.

[Anonymous]

It depends on your kid. Mine is 15 and has been using mostly the stove for years. He has ADHD and is fine when he is medicated. He has been waking up at night to eat since he is growing like a weed. He left the stove on last week after making soup or something in the middle of the night. Without the meds, he is a mess. So I now have his make extra of whatever he will eat in the middle of the night- chicken nuggets, etc so he doesn't need to cook at 2am.

[Anonymous]

Tell your DH that kids learn by doing. They need lots of time cooking together with you to learn how to cook safely. Avoiding the kitchen is not going to make them safe in the future.

[Anonymous]

Stove - maybe 8 years old for eggs, mac n' cheese, quesadillas.

Oven - 12-13? My daughter burnt herself once (briefly) when I was helping her, so she has us help her take things in and out of the oven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You put so many provisos in your OP that no one can answer you. Not people who have kids who like baking, not people who spend time in the kitchen with their kids. Who else is going to have a kid open the oven in reality? None.

OP here. Sorry, I didn't mean to make it difficult. I was just trying to weed out the outliers. For example, if I were asking when do kids typically learn to read and someone chimed in to say their two year old picked up books and started reading on his own by 3 - that is so atypical it is not helpful to learn about average kids.

The responses have been really helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 7yo can make scrambled eggs and cheese quesadilla (tortilla + cheese) on our gas stove, mostly unsupervised (although I am nearby and usually turn the stove on). She hasn't taken anything out of the oven yet, mostly because I'm not sure she'd be strong enough to lift it out of the oven onto the counter. Small burn like your son got wouldn't bother me. I'd run it under cold water, and he'd learn not to touch a hot pan.

Outlier.

[Anonymous]

My kids were using the microwave by about 6 or 7, the oven to make chicken nuggets or pizza by 10ish and by 11 were using the gas stove on their own. Ironically, they are much safer using the stove than DH who regularly forgets he has something cooking and burns it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stove - maybe 8 years old for eggs, mac n' cheese, quesadillas.

Oven - 12-13? My daughter burnt herself once (briefly) when I was helping her, so she has us help her take things in and out of the oven.

Huh, I think the oven is much safer to use for a kid than the stove!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids were using the microwave by about 6 or 7, the oven to make chicken nuggets or pizza by 10ish and by 11 were using the gas stove on their own. Ironically, they are much safer using the stove than DH who regularly forgets he has something cooking and burns it.

This sounds about like my kid. She’s 13 and a great cook now, but started with things like pop-tarts in the toaster in kindergarten-ish.

Up until about age 10 or 11 we insisted on being in the kitchen or the next room, but by nearly 12 she was making eggs or french toast on her own before parents got up. It was only recently that she was comfortable draining a smallish pot of pasta on her own.

It did take a few mishaps to help her learn to pay attention, don’t try to read while waiting for eggs to cook, always keep fingers curled under when slicing, etc. we were close by so nothing terrible happened, but she learned more from those small accidents than all our nagging and reminders ever accomplished.

[Anonymous]

My 10 year old DS can make Mac n cheese or ramen, etc. on the stove and bake cakes/brownies by himself. My 6 yo can use the microwave.

Ask him so what if the kid gets a small burn from a hot pan? It will teach them to be more careful.