Realizing I don’t like the baby stage

[Anonymous]

I have a 4yo and 13mo and while it’s really hard to have two kids in such different stages right now, I really prefer hanging with my older one versus the baby which I feel bad admitting . My 4yo has her moments but overall is fun and we can do things together - play board games, do art and science projects, cook, etc. We can have an actual conversation! It feels like all the baby does is get into everything and look for trouble everywhere he goes. I find playing with him to be so boring and monotonous and it’s so hard that there are very few things we can all do together that entertains both kids - at least while we are stuck at home.

I know this will pass but does anyone else feel this way?

[Anonymous]

I do OP. I have 3 kids and I have never enjoyed the baby phase. Mine are also all bad sleepers and todos not sleeping through the night until 2 or so. I enjoy hanging out with my 6.5 and 4.5 year old a lot. Teach them things, understand their thinking, hearing their opinions, etc. My 14 month old is funny and cute, but does not comunicate much, and I can’t let him out of my sight.
Lucky us that the “boring/needy” phase is very short (in perspective) and the fun is very long

[Anonymous]

After my youngest turned 3, I was soooooo happy to realize that I would never have to deal with the baby stage again. And every time see a friend hold a baby, I only think, "That poor sucker." =)

But your baby is on the verge of being a fun toddler and good playmate with your older child. Seriously, every year will be better and better. (Until puberty and hormones hit, I guess.)

[Anonymous]

Use nap time to focus on the 4 year old. Get the 4 year old involved in meal prep, cleaning dishes, or sweeping floor.

When the baby is alert, do a sing along/rhyming finger plays like you might for a library story time. Put on a cd and dance. The 4 year old can be part of these things too.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I have a 2 year old and newborn and my mantra is “I never have to do this again.”

[Anonymous]

Yup. I like babies at 6 months when they can sit up and hold a toy and before major crawling. And then again after 18month/2 when they're solidly walking. The in between sucks for me. But I adore my 4.5 year old and she's a full person now and I don't Sheba to talk to her like a kid and we can do pretty much everything together. And she's great with the baby. I'm not excited about early toddlerhood for the youngest but we will make it as fun as we can.

[Anonymous]

You are definitely not alone. I have a 4 year old and it is so much easier. I never liked baby phase, either.

[Anonymous]

Me neither.

And I’m about to have a baby.... So, it could be worse! I think there are lots of people who consider the pregnancy/baby stage as the metaphorical price we pay for getting a fun little kid on up.

[Anonymous]

I’m glad you said it. I’ve been struggling with this as a first time mom of a one year old. Love him to pieces but find the everyday to be mostly boring, monotonous, and a big countdown until nap/bedtime

[Anonymous]

I’m guessing your 4 yo is out of tantrum/threenager phase? I go back and forth with whether I think my 12 mo or 3.5 yo is more fun. 12 mo is definitely a handful and not as entertaining, but I also love that he has zero attitude and is less emotionally demanding.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely! I enjoy 2 and up so much more, although 3 can be a tough age. Really liking life with a 4 year old and almost 7 year old. I have never been a baby person, and having kids didn’t change that, strangely enough. I mean, they are wonderful and I adored mine, but I am still never that person who is dying to hold someone else’s baby, you know?

[Anonymous]

Hated baby stage, although I loved my babies. I literally shudder sometimes when I see someone carrying a newborn.

[Anonymous]

Hated the baby stage. HATED. Part of it is I am a high energy person and like to be going and doing all the time and so much of having a baby is like, sitting and holding, giving a bottle, waiting out a nap, etc. Just annoying. I’m kind of like PP, I’m happy for people starting their families but I also look at pregnant women or people with babies and thank God that is far, far behind me. My kids are 10 and 6 and life is so easy and fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you said it. I’ve been struggling with this as a first time mom of a one year old. Love him to pieces but find the everyday to be mostly boring, monotonous, and a big countdown until nap/bedtime

Oh 1 year olds are so tough. Until about 18 months at least. You have to watch them like a hawk, no attention don't, they don't really appreciate books yet. So it's just get throguh the day with some fun and rest.

[Anonymous]

I have three kids and do not like the 12-18 month stage. SO cute in photos but the lives reality....

I kept having kids so obviously I like this overall! Totally normal to have preferred stages. I try to spend a little extra time doing age appropriate things with the one I am connecting with the least at the moment. Sometimes it turns out that I am frustrated with the baby because he can’t keep up with the older ones, and that’s not fair to him! So I do his stuff to renew the connection.