If you predicted ADHD in your 3 year old, what ultimately happened?
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Anonymous
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DD just turned 3. My doctor says 3 year olds are poster children for ADHD. I get that. But DD is way more impulsive, sensory seeking, and stubborn than other children we know. She is also a runner and completely fearlesss. She cannot keep her hands to herself. She is also very bright. For example, she does not make articulation errors in her speech. She uses phrases like “even though”, “it turns out” and uses very specific, just-right words like “scramble” and “scamper”. Following her third birthday party, she said, “Why don’t I have two grandmas? Where is my dad’s mom?” She is dead, and died before DD was born. Yesterday, I asked her if she thought a particular crayon was yellow. She told me, “No, it’s a shade of green.”
She has outgrown all her 4t clothes as she is tall and weighs over 40 pounds. So basically, I have a huge three year old who looks and speaks like an older kid. Her behavior is like a younger kid. I can’t help but feel judged by people who (I think) assume that she is older and poorly behaved I am well versed in behavior challlenges, as I taught many children with special needs before staying home with DD. I am not averse to medication, but I know it will be years before that is even an option (DH will be hard to convince if it gets to that point anyway). If you had a child with ADHD features, how did he or she do in preschool? What about kindergarten? Did it get better with maturity? I am worried about preschool..although I know we may be home this school year. |
Anonymous
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I have a huge kid who looks four but have barely two. I have gotten questions and looks when we are out because he talks like a young 2YO (so, badly). But so what? They can wonder and judge if they want.
Pick a preschool carefully. They should be outside twice a day in all weather, and they should know that a child’s job is to explore and play. Ask what they do about circle time on the tour and don’t go there if there is long circle time she has to sit through. |
Anonymous
| My son was very bright but very impulsive when he was younger. He was small and wore glasses but talked like he was much older so people were confused by how old he was. He was a combo of sensory seeking and avoiding (good fun!). He was evaluated by an OT in preschool and received a few sessions of OT. I couldn't really afford them so we had to stop. He didn't really act too much differently than most of the boys but in second grade, most of the other boys had matured but he hadn't. I knew it was time for an evaluation so he went to KK at the beginning of 3rd grade. He has mild to moderate ADHD and takes medication for it. The sensory issues showed something was clearly going on with his neurological system. My older brother had the same exact issues so it wasn't out of the blue. Definitely investigate preschools carefully. My son hated his first one. Not nearly enough outdoor running around time. Too much circle time and forced arts and crafts. He would say "I made this for you but I hated doing it!" His second preschool was a nature preschool that he loved. Playing outside in puddles, catching bugs, etc. He loved that place. |
Anonymous
| She was diagnosed ADHD at 5. Kindergarten has been tough. Very bright, verbal IQ scored in 99% so you think you're talking to an older kid, but she has the impulse control and emotional regulation of a toddler sometimes. It's hard. |
Anonymous
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I wouldn’t have predicted ADHD specifically at 3, but DD has always been a difficult, temperamental, emotional child, and there were definitely moments by that point where I was thinking “this can’t be normal behavior.” But I am a really laid back parent, and all parents complain/commiserate about their kid’s behavior so was kind of hoping DD was in the normal range and would out grow it. DD started having tantrums around 18 months and didn’t outgrow them until 4.5, and still had challenging behaviors. Time outs didn’t work, behavior charts didn’t help much, taking things away didn’t work, so discipline continues to be a challenge.
Preschool was fine until she turned 4.5, and then went downhill badly. We switched schools to a smaller more nurturing environment and things were great until she went to kindergarten. Kindergarten was a rough start, behavior got better as the year went on, but behavior at home was still challenging. DD does very well socially, and has a good group of friends, so she is able to behave with other kids. We are finally pursuing a diagnosis, likely ADHD. Part of me glad I waited, part of me wishes I had taken her earlier to get a diagnosis/help since DH and I have actively been taking about whether or not to get a diagnosis for 18 months. |
Anonymous
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Mine was diagnosed with ADHD at 7, ASD at 9. She has gotten better with maturity, but I read somewhere that kids with ADHD can be emotionally about 75% of their chronological age, which sounds about right to me with respect to my kid.
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Anonymous
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I thought he was ADHD. Now 10, he still is, though we haven't bothered formally diagnosing. This runs in the family, so not a surprise. He has worked with an OT, who has gave us some useful behavioral tips.
Saw much worse signs in his younger brother, but now, at four, the kid has improved markedly. Not sure where he's going to end up on the spectrum. |
Anonymous
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I feared autism and ADHD. My son has diagnosed ADHD, and is borderline but not diagnosed for high-functioning autism. If Asperger's still existed, he might have been diagnosed with that. |
Anonymous
| My 3yo runner was diagnosed with ADHD combined type at age 6. She did OK in preschool but struggled some in K, particularly at home. As she matured we noticed increasing problems with emotional regulation, but a stimulant + guanfacine have done wonders. |
Anonymous
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Because he was so bright, elementary school didn't think there was an issue (just that we would need to wait until he grew a little and gained some impulse control). Then we hit MS. Got diagnosis, got meds, got a new life (for him, for his classmates and most importantly, for our family). Wish we had gotten the diagnosis earlier, but we didn't know (just thought he was a high energy kid) and ES said we needed to wait.
My advise: don't wait to do something about it. |
Anonymous
| With speech like that, I’d be concerned about being on the spectrum as well. The two often go together. |
Anonymous
OP here. Thank you. DD is signed up to start preschool this fall, just two mornings per week. I chose a play-based program with a achedule that doesn’t seem too demanding (circle, recess, snack, free choice, clean up, dismissal). Honestly, being part of the group for circle time and clean-up will probably be plenty of challenge for DD. I actually visited several schools and picked this one because the teachers were so warm and friendly, and DD will require a good relationship and lots of patience. The teacher to child ratio is 1:4. I hope this makes redirecting DD more doable than it would be in a larger group. Also, the room was not cluttered and had lots of high quality materials and a lovely playground. I am hoping that if school does commence in the fall, this will be a good experience for her. |
Anonymous
OP. That sounds so tough. Have you had any successes and is there a plan in place for first grade? Sorry you are going through this. |
Anonymous
OP. Yikes. 75% seems about right, although DD may be lower than that. I assume that the percentage would depend on the level of severity. |
Anonymous
OP. Care to share what has helped? Is he functioning okay without meds? Would you say things are a lot better than they were in the preschool and kindergarten years? Glad your son has improved so much. Was it maturity kicking in? |