When will FET be safe?

[Anonymous]

I’m 39 & we still have a frozen embryo (from 2011) at Shady Grove. We moved to Indiana a couple years ago, and we’re finally ready to give it a shot. I did all my testing in December/January, and we were waiting until this month to begin the protocol due to scheduling logistics... and then COVID happened. So, now what? We would need grandparents to watch our children while we go to DC, which is out of the question. One of our DC’s has a genetically tiny airway & asthma, and has already battled RSV in the hospital this past winter and then was down with flu A in early March for several weeks even with the flu shot & Tamiflu. It feels really irresponsible for us to do all the necessary things to get the transfer done. But, we also don’t want to destroy it. I believe they only will keep it frozen until I’m 41.

[Anonymous]

Options:
(1) Have you explored clinics in your area that might do an FET if you were able to have it shipped? I realize it’s not ideal, but under the circumstances you can’t travel.

(2) could your DH stay home with the kids while you fly to DC for the transfer? Then you fly home the next day or even that night — and quarantine somewhere for 10-14 days?

(3) wait. I think SGF will keep embryos frozen until 45 or 50 - where did you hear 41? Please please check on this. There may be a vaccine by next year and you would be 40 or 41 and could do the transfer then.

[Anonymous]

I'm 41 and still have frozen embryos at SGF. I'm pretty sure they keep them until you're ~50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 39 & we still have a frozen embryo (from 2011) at Shady Grove. We moved to Indiana a couple years ago, and we’re finally ready to give it a shot. I did all my testing in December/January, and we were waiting until this month to begin the protocol due to scheduling logistics... and then COVID happened. So, now what? We would need grandparents to watch our children while we go to DC, which is out of the question. One of our DC’s has a genetically tiny airway & asthma, and has already battled RSV in the hospital this past winter and then was down with flu A in early March for several weeks even with the flu shot & Tamiflu. It feels really irresponsible for us to do all the necessary things to get the transfer done. But, we also don’t want to destroy it. I believe they only will keep it frozen until I’m 41.

OP here.
1)We’ve discussed this several times. DH feels it’s very risky. We may reevaluate if it’s still unsafe to travel in a few months.
2)Not super realistic... DH is the breadwinner, so him taking off 2 weeks to watch the kids, plus I have no clue how I would totally quarantine myself - even with a hotel, there would still be interactions to get food, plus super expensive.
3)We had in our heads that it was 41, but we did all our cycles in our 20s, so it’s totally possible we’re remembering incorrectly. Honestly, though, I can’t see us doing it if I will be much over 40. Our youngest child (a total surprise) is already 4.5 and I didn’t have easy pregnancies due to an incompetent cervix. It’s definitely worth re-checking the age, though!

[Anonymous]

Do you want to give it a shot because you really really want another baby? And you may try IVF again if it doesn’t work?

Or are you a let’s see what happens and what’s meant to be will be but we’d be happy if we’re done and this doesn’t work out?

Or are you more in the “let’s try again because you have one embryo in existence” and you don’t like the idea of not trying it for whatever reason (no judgement).

The age question is relevant depending where you are coming from. Also to me, the fact that you did IVF a decade ago and knew you only had one embryo left makes me think you’d be OK if it didn’t work out. Otherwise, in my mind, you would have pursued making more embryos earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to give it a shot because you really really want another baby? And you may try IVF again if it doesn’t work?

Or are you a let’s see what happens and what’s meant to be will be but we’d be happy if we’re done and this doesn’t work out?

Or are you more in the “let’s try again because you have one embryo in existence” and you don’t like the idea of not trying it for whatever reason (no judgement).

The age question is relevant depending where you are coming from. Also to me, the fact that you did IVF a decade ago and knew you only had one embryo left makes me think you’d be OK if it didn’t work out. Otherwise, in my mind, you would have pursued making more embryos earlier.

Combo of the 2nd two. We are completely happy with our current situation, but can’t bring ourselves to destroy or donate the embryo. When we had our ‘surprise’ a few years ago, we decided to sit on the embryo situation for awhile. In October, we both agreed to ‘let’s try and if it’s meant to be it will be.’ We have joy in our house and our boys would LOVE another sibling... but we would not pursue more infertility treatments if it didn’t work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here.
1)We’ve discussed this several times. DH feels it’s very risky. We may reevaluate if it’s still unsafe to travel in a few months.

PP here. “Risky” because the embryo might be damaged? If you’d be fine if it didn’t work out, maybe this risk is worth it - to spare the risk to your currently living family. I’d seriously consider this as a decent option with limited risk.

[Anonymous]

There isn't an age limit of 40 for FETs. I transferred my last embryo with SG last year at 41. No one ever mentioned anything about my age. Lots of 40-something women there for treatment.

[Anonymous]

So you‘be had one IIVF child and one naturally conceived? I’d pull the bC and try during covid for another naturally conceived ...
and SG mails embryos all the time - even non covid times, id just have it shipped to you ... what a pain in the a$& to fly to dc for a transfer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you‘be had one IIVF child and one naturally conceived? I’d pull the bC and try during covid for another naturally conceived ...
and SG mails embryos all the time - even non covid times, id just have it shipped to you ... what a pain in the a$& to fly to dc for a transfer

We conceived after a year of charting & 6 months of progesterone at 27 (had initial SG appt booked when got pregnant). 2nd baby that didn’t work, 3 failed IUIs, 2 failed fresh IVFs, finally conceived on first FET (have one other embryo from that cycle). Had very surprise #3 while still breastfeeding #2 and hadn’t even gotten a period. DH got a vasectomy after that birth. It sounds like shipping is the best choice if we’re to do it soonish.