How to apply for aid without letting DC know

[Anonymous]

Our DC has been accepted to a wonderful school. We would like to apply for aid but do not want child to know our financial situation (it’s not good. We’ve had a few issues but hope to bounce back in a year or two. We don’t want DC to worry) The school is saying we have to apply on the students portal which is already set up. How can we get around this. I have asked the financial aid advisor if this can be handled discreetly and have not heard back. Has anyone had experience with this.

[Anonymous]

Oh good grief. There’s so much wrong with this scenario.

[Anonymous]

I don't think your plan is realistic. Your DC is an adult now and with FERPA and the like, is entitled to this information.

[Anonymous]

I sympathize but this is a recipe for disaster and your child deserves to know.

[Anonymous]

My oldest knew our financial situation at 7. It’s critical to have trust and financial understanding within a family unit, OP. Not sure why you don’t get this.

[Anonymous]

Actually it might be good financial education for your DC.
It will make him more frugal and appreciate his education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually it might be good financial education for your DC.
It will make him more frugal and appreciate his education.

+1. Kid deserves to know.

Besides, kid may need to take federal student loans. And possibly even work-study.

[Anonymous]

You have a big adjustment to make. Your child is an adult (or very soon to be). These are legally binding obligations. You CANNOT and should not go around him. For MANY reasons he must know the financial sacrifice that college entails for your family. Sorry, but it is past the time for you to buffer him from reality!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually it might be good financial education for your DC.
It will make him more frugal and appreciate his education.

This. Your child is an adult and therefore needs to know the real deal.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Got it. I am trying to protect my children from the ugliness I wish I could’ve prevented. Gotta grow up. Reveal to them how stupid their parents have been (over spent and didn’t save and made some bad business decisions) . You’re all right.

[Anonymous]

I had financial aid in college and it wasn't because my parents did anything wrong. They saved as much as they could on a middle class income. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Got it. I am trying to protect my children from the ugliness I wish I could’ve prevented. Gotta grow up. Reveal to them how stupid their parents have been (over spent and didn’t save and made some bad business decisions) . You’re all right.

Jesus, don’t dump all that on them. Leave your self-flagellation out of it. Just calmly say that college is super expensive so you’re applying for financial aid. FFS, there is no ugliness in needing financial aid. Work on your issues and absolutely don’t dump them on your poor young adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Got it. I am trying to protect my children from the ugliness I wish I could’ve prevented. Gotta grow up. Reveal to them how stupid their parents have been (over spent and didn’t save and made some bad business decisions) . You’re all right.

Everyone makes mistakes, OP. You're not special. Explain without judgement and present just the facts.

[Anonymous]

OP again. It’s just that we used to be what most people would consider rich. Our kids think we are stable financially. It has all unraveled I’m the past two years and we were just trying to not let them feel unstable. But this has been a wake up call and you’re all correct with your advice. I will make sure with have a sit down with DC and be honest.

[Anonymous]

I got grants in college. Why not take free money if you qualify?