Childcare for three children

[Anonymous]

Expecting twins and have a two year old. Did not plan on trains so please none of the usual “why did you have three kids.” What’s the child care if parents have to work and daycares are closed? Is one nanny sufficient? Planned on day care and nanny.

[Anonymous]

Infant twins plus a two-year- old is a huge amount of work for one nanny to handle depending on the layout of your home as well as the safety of your home.

[Anonymous]

I have many friends with 3 kids which includes one set of twins, however most have a larger age gap which makes it more manageable since not all kids are home during the day. The hard part is how close in age yours are.

I do know a few people who have 3 kids under 3 and both working parents. They all either do full day daycare/school for the oldest and a nanny for the younger 2, or have a nanny and part time sitter to help. I do know one family with two full time nannies as well. But I don’t know anyone with one nanny for 3 kids so close in age. It will be nearly impossible to manage two infants at once plus meet the needs of a 2 year old at the same time. Even the SAH moms I know In this situation have part to full time help.

Will your 2 year old be in school at all? If so, will the nanny he responsible for transportation or you and DH would fully handle? I definitely can’t imagine a nanny safely being able to get 3 young kids around.

I think the first few years may be tough logistically but it will get better once your older is in PreK and out of the house most of the day.

And even if this wasn’t planned, having 3 kids is amazing and twins have the most amazing bond. Congrats!!

[Anonymous]

I had a 4 year old and almost 2 year old when our third was born. Nanny was fine on her 2 days with them and I was fine by myself the other 3 week days. I have multiple friends with 3 under 3 who stayed home with them and survived. So...yes, it’s doable. In our area it would cost over $25/hour to get someone.

[Anonymous]

A nanny and daycare would be ideal if the daycares reopen any time soon.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m in the same boat and would like to know what you decided. My 21 mon olds school opened back up on Friday but I’m not comfortable sending him. Twins are due in a month.

[Anonymous]

Yikes- would have to be the greatest nanny of all time. That’s a lot. I would find a morning preschool for 2 yr old if possible. Is your two year old closer to 3 or closer to 2? I think that will make a huge difference. My first was 21 mos when my second was born and it was tough. Now that he is a few months shy of 3,he is way more independent and can be bribed with the iPad as needed. I remember trying to put the baby down for naps and trying to offer the iPad for him to watch in his room across the hall but he would
Just come running in and sit down to watch and sing along

[Anonymous]

I think a nanny - many twins are preemies so probably shouldn’t be in group care their first winter (even without COVID).

One nanny is fine. But you will want someone experienced with twins and if you can find a PT nursery school for your older and it’s affordable and safe enough for the babies, that will be a huge help.

[Anonymous]

Find a nanny experienced with infant twins and a toddler sibling. Then pay whatever she asks.

[Anonymous]

Experienced twin nanny here.

You can absolutely find a nanny to handle twin infants AND a 2 yo. If I were the parent in this situation I would find and hire that person NOW so that
1) the 2yo and nanny build a good relationship
2) the nanny can set up routines and systems in the house to make everything as easy as possible once the babies arrive
3) the nanny can help you get the twins on the same schedule as early as possible
4) You don’t end up stressing about daycare drop-off/pickup or worse, closures if you need to go on bed rest (common with twin pregnancies).
5) Many twins are born early, and there is a higher likelihood of NICU stays or other complications. I wouldn’t want to expose them to all the germs a sibling will bring home from daycare.

How much maternity leave do you have? An experienced twin/triplet nanny can definitely handle twins+1 once the babies are about 6 months. If you and your partner don’t have that much leave then you might consider having family help or hiring someone part time to bridge the gap until the twins are reliably on the same nap schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Experienced twin nanny here.

You can absolutely find a nanny to handle twin infants AND a 2 yo. If I were the parent in this situation I would find and hire that person NOW so that
1) the 2yo and nanny build a good relationship
2) the nanny can set up routines and systems in the house to make everything as easy as possible once the babies arrive
3) the nanny can help you get the twins on the same schedule as early as possible
4) You don’t end up stressing about daycare drop-off/pickup or worse, closures if you need to go on bed rest (common with twin pregnancies).
5) Many twins are born early, and there is a higher likelihood of NICU stays or other complications. I wouldn’t want to expose them to all the germs a sibling will bring home from daycare.

How much maternity leave do you have? An experienced twin/triplet nanny can definitely handle twins+1 once the babies are about 6 months. If you and your partner don’t have that much leave then you might consider having family help or hiring someone part time to bridge the gap until the twins are reliably on the same nap schedule.

21.29 again. This is exactly why you want a nanny who is experienced with twins and an older child!

[Anonymous]

Preschool for the 2-year old, nanny for the twins. Less stress for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Experienced twin nanny here.

You can absolutely find a nanny to handle twin infants AND a 2 yo. If I were the parent in this situation I would find and hire that person NOW so that
1) the 2yo and nanny build a good relationship
2) the nanny can set up routines and systems in the house to make everything as easy as possible once the babies arrive
3) the nanny can help you get the twins on the same schedule as early as possible
4) You don’t end up stressing about daycare drop-off/pickup or worse, closures if you need to go on bed rest (common with twin pregnancies).
5) Many twins are born early, and there is a higher likelihood of NICU stays or other complications. I wouldn’t want to expose them to all the germs a sibling will bring home from daycare.

How much maternity leave do you have? An experienced twin/triplet nanny can definitely handle twins+1 once the babies are about 6 months. If you and your partner don’t have that much leave then you might consider having family help or hiring someone part time to bridge the gap until the twins are reliably on the same nap schedule.

You sound fantastic. Great advice.

[Anonymous]

I posted upthread at 21:41.

Here is a sample routine from when I had little ones with a similar age gap once twins were about 6months.

Twins up at 6:30, feed, change, bring into sib’s room to get sib changed and feed a smoothie, throw everybody’s laundry into the washing machine, put twins in a carrier and go for a short walk around the block. Come home and read books and put twins down for AM nap.

9-10:30 rotate laundry and do art/cooking/science project with Sib. Feed a snack and pack bottles and lunch for outing.

10:30-1 feed and change babies and then start a daily outing (rotate between hike in the woods, going to a playground or school with an empty soccer field, going to an empty tennis court, playing outside with a wading pool, puddle walk in the rain or indoor dance party if the weather is really bad).

1–come home and feed everyone a bottle/sippy cup. Read some books, put twins down, read more books, put sib down.

1:30-3: naptime
Tidy dishes from the morning, prep dinner, prep an activity for sib after nap, fold laundry, lay down for a while myself

3-5
Get everybody up from nap, change, feed bottles/snack, do activity with sib while babies play in a device or playmat nearby, then set sib up for free play while twins do tummy time.

5: dinner for sib, feed twins
5:30 baths for all (sib in bathtub and twins just a quick rinse under the faucet), lotions/jammies
6: stories and bottles/sippy of milk
6:30 twins go down, sibling has a bedtime snack, brushes teeth, more stories and bedtime routine.

[Anonymous]

That is an awesome routine, PP. Thank you for breaking it down in such detail.