Incredibly “busy” 2 and 4 year old.. can hardly keep up with them.

[Anonymous]

I’m getting so frustrated with my “busy” 2 and 4 year old boys. It’s to the point where I can hardly use the bathroom without a crash and cries in 30 seconds because they managed to get into something or hurt. We have done all the right things- house was professionally baby proofed at infant and toddler age to have safe rooms, safe places everywhere yet they define these safeguards! Take for example that the stairs are secured with an extra high baby gate, yet I run to bathroom and find my almost 2 year old has stacked a clothes bin on top of a laundry basket to use to climb nearly above the gate. Constant crashing, falling, jumping,.. it’s just a lot. I am exhausted and so completely envious of people with children who will chill for 15 min a day doing a craft or activity. We have had to ban basically all art projects in the house because they just cannot handle it even when we do drop clothes and all the things. I cannot keep up with them. I am so mentally run down. We keep so busy. It’s mid day and we have baked together, done a nature walk, ride scooters.. I just find myself having to say NO NO NO NO basically for their own survival 24/7. It is beyond exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a fenced in backyard and somewhere where you can sit inside and watch them through a window? When my twins were little and needed something to keep them busy and I needed a break, I’d put some yellow food coloring and water in an empty can and give them each a paintbrush and tell them I needed their help reapplying wood stain to our split rail fence. The fence isn’t even stained, just naturally weathered, but they never questioned it. They actually enjoyed it and felt like they were helping.

[Anonymous]

Why are the stairs secured? Can you open them up and close doors upstairs that you don't want the kids in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are the stairs secured? Can you open them up and close doors upstairs that you don't want the kids in?

We have both, monkey locks for doors and the stairs have to be secured. In the case that my almost 2 year old’s door is opened by someone by accident (monkey locked) bc he climbs out of his crib and they also “play” on the stairs and jump off the landing. Have had a busted chin and a lot of falls from trying to slide or jump down steps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a fenced in backyard and somewhere where you can sit inside and watch them through a window? When my twins were little and needed something to keep them busy and I needed a break, I’d put some yellow food coloring and water in an empty can and give them each a paintbrush and tell them I needed their help reapplying wood stain to our split rail fence. The fence isn’t even stained, just naturally weathered, but they never questioned it. They actually enjoyed it and felt like they were helping.

That’s a cute idea! I will try it today!! Great art idea without the mess! There’s no way I could leave them unattended in the yard though. 4 year old can climb full 7’ fence and trees.

[Anonymous]

I am honestly just venting. I am happy they are healthy boys but TBH I am super jealous of people with kids who are more chill in general.

[Anonymous]

You need a bounce house. Seriously. We move furniture and put it in our family room, but I've seen others use it in the yard.

Do you have a yard you could give them foam battle axes (my 2 and 4 year old love them) or small Nerf guns?

Another clear winner was an indoor "obstacle course" for my kids. We did: jumping, leap frog, somersaults, jumping jacks, crawling and rolling. Kids did it so many times they were sweaty and exhausted.

Make nature walks more interactive. Give kids contact paper or double sided tape and a piece of paper. They have to find "treasures" (seeds, leaves, dandelions, trash) and stick them on as you walk along. Another hit was giving them a plastic shopping bag and filling it with small things along the way like acorns, pine cones and leaves.

I have a boy and a girl and I realize the girl sits SO well and loves art projects. But slowly we're training my son. He now has a 20 min limit on art projects, which is progress. Today they made pine cone, peanut butter and bird seed feeders. Yesterday it was fruit loop necklaces (kids liked this because they got to eat fruit loops afterwards which they don't get to do) after we went over the colors and counted them. Anything messy gets done naked on a drop cloth or in the bathtub. I have no patience for messes like that inside my house which require more work for me...

[Anonymous]

Example, my 3 year old was this close to cracking his chin open. He jumped up on stool and lunged forward causing the stool to slide back 3 feet and he was lurching forward chin first into our butcher block island. I was sitting next to him to luckily caught him and he got punished for that because he knows the rules that we don't stand on tables or stools or jump on furniture. But I just CANNOT move or leave their side or stop watching them for a millisecond. It becomes insanely exhausting. I save them from accidents one hundred times a day that would otherwise result in an ER visit. I am tired of being of having to be on patrol. We have tried so many different things, chore and behavior charts, parenting solution regimes... . JUST CHILL OUT AND SIT DOWN AND EAT YOUR DAMN MUFFIN LIKE ANY OTHER CHILD. YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE JUMPING ON A STOOL WHILE YOU DO IT. ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need a bounce house. Seriously. We move furniture and put it in our family room, but I've seen others use it in the yard.

Do you have a yard you could give them foam battle axes (my 2 and 4 year old love them) or small Nerf guns?

Another clear winner was an indoor "obstacle course" for my kids. We did: jumping, leap frog, somersaults, jumping jacks, crawling and rolling. Kids did it so many times they were sweaty and exhausted.

Make nature walks more interactive. Give kids contact paper or double sided tape and a piece of paper. They have to find "treasures" (seeds, leaves, dandelions, trash) and stick them on as you walk along. Another hit was giving them a plastic shopping bag and filling it with small things along the way like acorns, pine cones and leaves.

I have a boy and a girl and I realize the girl sits SO well and loves art projects. But slowly we're training my son. He now has a 20 min limit on art projects, which is progress. Today they made pine cone, peanut butter and bird seed feeders. Yesterday it was fruit loop necklaces (kids liked this because they got to eat fruit loops afterwards which they don't get to do) after we went over the colors and counted them. Anything messy gets done naked on a drop cloth or in the bathtub. I have no patience for messes like that inside my house which require more work for me...

Thank you! Those are some great ideas. I am going to order some bird seed and those nerf axes. I feel like we have a lot of toys but we could always use more. We do the shopping bag. They do pretty well on the nature walks, it is one of the few activities they are entertained on without making a huge disaster or putting themselves in danger.

[Anonymous]

Keep them moving! As much outside time as possible. They are just super active boys. Do your best to tire them out. Running, obstacle courses, balls, bikes, scooters, anything that it is actually okay for them to climb, etc.

[Anonymous]

Another incident that happened...
my almost 2 year old was HANGING from our chandelier. HANGING. He pushed high rolling high chair over to climb onto the dining table that has no chairs around it so they don't climb on it. It is a huge chandelier bolted, on of those big iron ones in a circle with 30+ lights but what would have happened if I didn't grab him in 2 seconds flat because I was in the kitchen prepping their lunch and in the 20 second it takes to smear peanut butter on bread this happens. Normal sized table and 9' ceilings.. who would have thought this is even possible? What do we do? Remove chandelier? live in a bare home with no furniture or light fixtures for years? It is so crazy. I am so in over my head with these two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another incident that happened...
my almost 2 year old was HANGING from our chandelier. HANGING. He pushed high rolling high chair over to climb onto the dining table that has no chairs around it so they don't climb on it. It is a huge chandelier bolted, on of those big iron ones in a circle with 30+ lights but what would have happened if I didn't grab him in 2 seconds flat because I was in the kitchen prepping their lunch and in the 20 second it takes to smear peanut butter on bread this happens. Normal sized table and 9' ceilings.. who would have thought this is even possible? What do we do? Remove chandelier? live in a bare home with no furniture or light fixtures for years? It is so crazy. I am so in over my head with these two.

Whoa. This is crazy-town!!! I think a 2 year old doesn't know better about a lot of things but this seems extreme. Is the 4 year old modeling such extreme behavior? What are the consequences? Okay, weird idea but I think you do need a padded room of sorts. If you have it--maybe a bedroom-- that has no chandelier or anything dangerous to climb. Just a couple of books and mangnatiles, maybe a floor bed and one hour a day in this room for your sanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another incident that happened...
my almost 2 year old was HANGING from our chandelier. HANGING. He pushed high rolling high chair over to climb onto the dining table that has no chairs around it so they don't climb on it. It is a huge chandelier bolted, on of those big iron ones in a circle with 30+ lights but what would have happened if I didn't grab him in 2 seconds flat because I was in the kitchen prepping their lunch and in the 20 second it takes to smear peanut butter on bread this happens. Normal sized table and 9' ceilings.. who would have thought this is even possible? What do we do? Remove chandelier? live in a bare home with no furniture or light fixtures for years? It is so crazy. I am so in over my head with these two.

Whoa. This is crazy-town!!! I think a 2 year old doesn't know better about a lot of things but this seems extreme. Is the 4 year old modeling such extreme behavior? What are the consequences? Okay, weird idea but I think you do need a padded room of sorts. If you have it--maybe a bedroom-- that has no chandelier or anything dangerous to climb. Just a couple of books and mangnatiles, maybe a floor bed and one hour a day in this room for your sanity.

Yah, seriously crazy-town. It is insane. I actually never really imagined my life with two boys. I imagined some crazy, but not this. I am so overtired and done. We already have a lot of our furniture in the garage b/c who knew it could be a dangerous thing? 4 year old is 10/10 out of energy.

Consequences we have tried them all... always turns into major drama. I actually have index cards with verbatim what to say printed out from parenting experts. My kid reverse psychologies everything.

We do have that room that all furniture has been cleared out for this exact reason but they literally hang on the gate screaming bloody murder the whole time or stacking nugget to jump over. We have 2 nuggets in there, play mat and a closet with everything inside and a basket of books and bigger trucks. We have a locked down closet where they get anywhere from 1-3 stations at a time. (for instance, trains is one bucket, legos is one, cars is one, puzzles is one) just to make sure things don't get out of control otherwise every single bin and toy is thrown on the floor in a huge pile that they jump in.

[Anonymous]

Caregivers of kids have to adapt their own attention spans to that of the kids. If your kid has a 5 minute attention span, you can't plan to accomplish anything that takes more than 5 minutes to do (and if you do manage it, it is a major victory).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Caregivers of kids have to adapt their own attention spans to that of the kids. If your kid has a 5 minute attention span, you can't plan to accomplish anything that takes more than 5 minutes to do (and if you do manage it, it is a major victory).

Yah and that is my frustration, having kids LIKE THIS. I am so incredibly jealous of people with chill kids who play with dolls or other activities that don't involve being super physical or destructive all the time.