Has a friend ever broken up with you for no apparent reason?

[Anonymous]

Not a family relationship, but --

I had a very close friend for years.
She began dating a new guy and basically fell off the face of the e arth. Felt I was constantly pinning her down to hang out, and I never ever met the new boyfriend.
Finally, FINALLY, we did a couples dinner - my DH, me, her, a nd her boyfriend.
I thought it was fun!

Since then, we've not hung out with them. I have legitimately no idea what went wrong. I am hurt and heartbroken. I tried to ask her about it when I saw her at a large group dinner and she literally - no joke -- ran away. She said, "I need to run; I have to go home and do laundry!" and bolted from me! It was beyond bizarre.

The weirdest part is I also know her in a professional setting and she continually reaches out to me with work news, offers to collaborate on things, but it's always super professionally worded?!?!

It's SO STRANGE. Has this happened to anyone else and why does it happen and what do I do??

[Anonymous]

She clearly decided she didn't want to spend time with you outside of work. None of us can speculate why, but you have no option other than to let it go and move on with your life.

[Anonymous]

Her BF is married.

[Anonymous]

You didn't do anything. She bolted because she probably felt guilty she hadn't been reciprocating your friendship.

She didn't break up with you, she's just created something else.

Sadly, you are not part of the something else in her life. This is just how it goes sometimes.

Keep a formal but friendly tone with her when you must deal on professional issues. But don't invite or include her in your social realm and understand that this friendship has died a natural death.

[Anonymous]

I think it's beyond cowardly for people to end a friendship without saying why. It's sooooo shady.

[Anonymous]

The whole expressions about friendships being for a reason, season or lifetime is trite but very true. It sounds like unfortunately she's not a lifetime friend, but that doesn't mean the friendship wasn't meaningful during its reason/season or that it's personal to you that the friendship has run its course.

[Anonymous]

OP has posted this story at least once before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's beyond cowardly for people to end a friendship without saying why. It's sooooo shady.

Sometimes you just can’t waste any more emotional energy on a person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's beyond cowardly for people to end a friendship without saying why. It's sooooo shady.

Sometimes you just can’t waste any more emotional energy on a person.

Ehh and sometimes you just grow apart. It's weird as hell to have a conversation about why you're ending a friendship. I do think boyfriend/girlfriend relationships should have a discussion though.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but not since high school. I'm sorry. It does hurt.

[Anonymous]

It's hurtful, but you can't change her decision, and she's clearly not brave enough to tell you the reason. Respond to her professional emails or don't as you feel comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You didn't do anything. She bolted because she probably felt guilty she hadn't been reciprocating your friendship.

She didn't break up with you, she's just created something else.

Sadly, you are not part of the something else in her life. This is just how it goes sometimes.

Keep a formal but friendly tone with her when you must deal on professional issues. But don't invite or include her in your social realm and understand that this friendship has died a natural death.

+1 and I am sorry you are so hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn't do anything. She bolted because she probably felt guilty she hadn't been reciprocating your friendship.

She didn't break up with you, she's just created something else.

Sadly, you are not part of the something else in her life. This is just how it goes sometimes.

Keep a formal but friendly tone with her when you must deal on professional issues. But don't invite or include her in your social realm and understand that this friendship has died a natural death.

+1 and I am sorry you are so hurt.

+1. And if you're in any way doing her any favors professionally, then stop. Move this to professional and courteous but nothing more.

Unfortunately, you'll probably never know what happened. It might not have anything to do with your behavior, so stop beating yourself up and trying to figure it out.

[Anonymous]

I'll add that, unless you really think it is going to help your own career, I'd decline opportunities to collaborate professionally. It seems like you are hurt that the friendship ended, and that any significant amount of contact with her might not be healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll add that, unless you really think it is going to help your own career, I'd decline opportunities to collaborate professionally. It seems like you are hurt that the friendship ended, and that any significant amount of contact with her might not be healthy.

+ yes because then she would just be using you and your friendship history for her own benefit.