Losing It

[Anonymous]

I've never been the world's most patient parent. I've never effectively handled the loss of my time being my own - and it's been almost 6 years so it's not like it's PPD. My kids favor DH to me. I am losing it during this quarantine situation. We have a 3 and 5 year old, I work a demanding job, and part of my job responsibilities involve implementing part of the recent CARES Act, so it's not like I can just take some leave. The kids don't listen to me, they fight non-stop, DS refuses to do his K work, FCPS digital learning has been a cluster, DD literally whines and cries over everything, they make messes constantly. DH really thinks I need a break and has suggested I head to my mom's second house in NC for a few days to get some alone time. It's on the coast but south of the Outer Banks so I can access it. They're not there so it's vacant, I could bring groceries with me in a cooler, there is wifi so I can work - it's a five - six hour drive, so I'd have to stop for gas once. Would you do this? Just for 3 or 4 days to get a break.

[Anonymous]

Do it.

I would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never been the world's most patient parent. I've never effectively handled the loss of my time being my own - and it's been almost 6 years so it's not like it's PPD. My kids favor DH to me. I am losing it during this quarantine situation. We have a 3 and 5 year old, I work a demanding job, and part of my job responsibilities involve implementing part of the recent CARES Act, so it's not like I can just take some leave. The kids don't listen to me, they fight non-stop, DS refuses to do his K work, FCPS digital learning has been a cluster, DD literally whines and cries over everything, they make messes constantly. DH really thinks I need a break and has suggested I head to my mom's second house in NC for a few days to get some alone time. It's on the coast but south of the Outer Banks so I can access it. They're not there so it's vacant, I could bring groceries with me in a cooler, there is wifi so I can work - it's a five - six hour drive, so I'd have to stop for gas once. Would you do this? Just for 3 or 4 days to get a break.

Do it. God, what a gift. I honestly think more parents need to do this one week on/one week off thing for this to be sustainable. Your husband sounds incredibly hot by the way. Just sayin'.

[Anonymous]

Stop trying to make your kindergartner do schoolwork. Play with him, dance with him, cook with him, read to him, and let him do art and music and dance and playing all on his own. Stop trying to do a kindergarten lesson plan. If you lower his stress his behavior will improve.

Your kids are picking up on your stress but don't have words to explain it, so they act out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop trying to make your kindergartner do schoolwork. Play with him, dance with him, cook with him, read to him, and let him do art and music and dance and playing all on his own. Stop trying to do a kindergarten lesson plan. If you lower his stress his behavior will improve.

Your kids are picking up on your stress but don't have words to explain it, so they act out.

Agree.

Op, going to NC isn’t going to change anything. It’s selfish to do it as well.

[Anonymous]

I'd do it. Reset. Read Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids while you're there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop trying to make your kindergartner do schoolwork. Play with him, dance with him, cook with him, read to him, and let him do art and music and dance and playing all on his own. Stop trying to do a kindergarten lesson plan. If you lower his stress his behavior will improve.

Your kids are picking up on your stress but don't have words to explain it, so they act out.

She has to work. When exactly is she supposed to play with him, dance, with him, cook with him, etc.?

This sounds like a "put on your oxygen mask before you help someone else" situation. Go to NC, OP. And then come back with your big girl panties washed, pressed, and secured firmly in place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop trying to make your kindergartner do schoolwork. Play with him, dance with him, cook with him, read to him, and let him do art and music and dance and playing all on his own. Stop trying to do a kindergarten lesson plan. If you lower his stress his behavior will improve.

Your kids are picking up on your stress but don't have words to explain it, so they act out.

Agree.

Op, going to NC isn’t going to change anything. It’s selfish to do it as well.

Whoever told a worn out person that a few days of time away wouldn't help them at all? That's literally the exact opposite of the advice we're constantly giving to parents who are suffering from exhaustion.

OP, if your partner is telling you to do it, do it!

It's only selfish if you don't come back

[Anonymous]

PP again, and maybe on the drive there or back, can you think of ways that you can make life more manageable while you are home?

Examples include:

Going for a run while your kids bike and/or scoot so you all start the day with outdoor time.

Create a routine that buys you at least a couple completely uninterrupted hours a day, even if that involves TV and/or devices.

Give up on homework for your K child.

I have a 5 year old and 2 year old (almost 3), so I feel you on the chaos.

Hang in there, and have a great time in NC.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a dreadful person and a horrible mother. It is your job to help them during this time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never been the world's most patient parent. I've never effectively handled the loss of my time being my own - and it's been almost 6 years so it's not like it's PPD. My kids favor DH to me. I am losing it during this quarantine situation. We have a 3 and 5 year old, I work a demanding job, and part of my job responsibilities involve implementing part of the recent CARES Act, so it's not like I can just take some leave. The kids don't listen to me, they fight non-stop, DS refuses to do his K work, FCPS digital learning has been a cluster, DD literally whines and cries over everything, they make messes constantly. DH really thinks I need a break and has suggested I head to my mom's second house in NC for a few days to get some alone time. It's on the coast but south of the Outer Banks so I can access it. They're not there so it's vacant, I could bring groceries with me in a cooler, there is wifi so I can work - it's a five - six hour drive, so I'd have to stop for gas once. Would you do this? Just for 3 or 4 days to get a break.

I’d go. And don’t worry about your kindergarten school work. Just play with him and read some books to your kids throughout the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again, and maybe on the drive there or back, can you think of ways that you can make life more manageable while you are home?

Examples include:

Going for a run while your kids bike and/or scoot so you all start the day with outdoor time.

Create a routine that buys you at least a couple completely uninterrupted hours a day, even if that involves TV and/or devices.

Give up on homework for your K child.

I have a 5 year old and 2 year old (almost 3), so I feel you on the chaos.

Hang in there, and have a great time in NC.

Yes, I take my two year our first thing everyday - like 8am before I start work.. She runs around the block.

[Anonymous]

At some point there was a rule about people crossing the bridge so check on that before you go.

[Anonymous]

That's a really long drive. I'd rather rent a hotel room closer.
Can you hire somebody to watch the kids? Not sure how this hiring help work at the moment.

[Anonymous]

That's a really long drive. I'd rather rent a hotel room closer.
Can you hire somebody to watch the kids? Not sure how this hiring help work at the moment.