Did you live abroad for a few years in childhood?

[Anonymous]

Obviously, all plans are on hold for now, but we recently learned of an opportunity to live for a few years in a very nice part of Europe. Our kids would be in preschool and elementary at the time. I would love to hear about the positives and negatives from a child’s perspective. Both in the short term, and any lasting benefits or fall out. Many thanks.

[Anonymous]

I did when I was in middle school. It was a mixed bag but overall a great experience. We lived in Tokyo and traveled a ton, I went to an international school (parents did not want me in the American school there bc they wanted us to have a different experience). I did miss my friends a lot though.

[Anonymous]

I lived in England near London from 4-6. I have many wonderful memories of those years. I learned so much in school there -especially math that I didn't encounter in the US until third or fourth grade.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I lived in Japan for 2 years (4th and 5th grade). Short term? It was a really hard adjustment. I missed my friends and the culture shock was intense. Long term- all positives. Ir was a wonderful experience I am grateful to have had.

[Anonymous]

I did not have the experience you are describing, but I am italian. I moved here right after highschool and married a man from South America. Our kids spend months at the time in our countries and I think this is amazing. We are also considering moving back or for a a few years. The gains far outweigh the costs in my opinion. It will open your kids’ minds in ways you just can’t do living always in the same place. Your kids are also very young so they won’t miss their friends much and will make friends very easily. I don’t know In which country you will be moving, but wherever you are you will be able to travel a lot. Skiing in the Alps in the winter is amazing (much nicer and cheaper than in the US).

I would not think about it twice!

[Anonymous]

We moved to Austria for two years when DD was in 3rd and 4th grade. It was great for her! She went to a German speaking school and loved it. We all loved it! Plus DD picked up soccer and was way ahead of her peers when we got home. We did work with her at home on math and English vocabulary.

It was a great experience for all of us.

[Anonymous]

I am from one European country and lived in 2 other European countries for 4-5 years each. At the time borders were not open and they really operated as completely different countries.

I don't remember much from the first, that I left at 7, but my fondest childhood memories come from the second, where I lived from 7-12. I picked up permanent cultural, culinary and literary tastes from that country.

I've actually spent more time here in the US that in my home country now, which feels so strange. However, my multiculturalism has made me very adaptable and flexible. It is easy for me to understand multiple points of view, particularly when they stem from national differences.

I would say that the disadvantages are on the trailing spouse side: my mother could not work, and had the difficult task of leaving family and friends, and trying to make new friends at a time in her life when it was not easy for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am from one European country and lived in 2 other European countries for 4-5 years each. At the time borders were not open and they really operated as completely different countries.

I don't remember much from the first, that I left at 7, but my fondest childhood memories come from the second, where I lived from 7-12. I picked up permanent cultural, culinary and literary tastes from that country.

I've actually spent more time here in the US that in my home country now, which feels so strange. However, my multiculturalism has made me very adaptable and flexible. It is easy for me to understand multiple points of view, particularly when they stem from national differences.

I would say that the disadvantages are on the trailing spouse side: my mother could not work, and had the difficult task of leaving family and friends, and trying to make new friends at a time in her life when it was not easy for her.

Yes. I would be the trailing spouse. I am very worried about that.

[Anonymous]

The benefits far outweigh any downside sides. You’d be foolish to pass this up.

[Anonymous]

I lived in Kuwait for 6 years from age 3 to mid-4th grade. This was in the late-70s to mid-80s so at that time, no one in the US had ever heard of Kuwait and my dad's employer considered it a hardship tour. This meant that they paid for unlimited trips back to the US and two yearly trips to wherever we wanted to go, so we got to travel around the world.

We did go to an American school but I'd say most of the people who attended were NOT Americans and we lived in an international compound. We made many friends that we keep in touch with 40 years later. You won't have this problem as you're going to live in a nice part of Europe, but I'd say the downside was that traveling back to the US was complicated and long, so my dad only went back once a year, at Christmas, with all of us. My sister, mom, and I spent our summers back in the US with grandparents because Kuwait was really hot in the summer and my mom missed her family.

There was definitely culture shock each time we visited the US, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. In Kuwait, weekends were Thursday and Friday, so that's the norm that my sister and I grew up. What I wish we'd done was learn Arabic; it was mandatory in 4th grade at our school but we moved in the middle of 4th so never really learned anything. I'd definitely make my kids learn the local language if we were to move abroad.

My mom was able to run a small preschool, but I don't think any of her expat friends worked.

[Anonymous]

I lived in Switzerland and went to Kindergarten there while my mom was on sabbatical in the late 80's. I have very fond (although vague) memories, and always loved looking at the pictures from that time. I think my mom had a harder time as she was much slower to learn French but I thought it was so cool. I was young enough I wasn't leaving behind a ton of friends so that was probably helpful. While I didn't retain a huge amount of French, I took it in school later and I think it really helped my accent

[Anonymous]

Army brat stationed in two foreign countries during my childhood up to age 8. Obviously my experience is slightly different than PPs since we did live on base with American schools, but it was still a wonderful experience. Absolutely take advantage of the opportunities while your children are young (different story after 6th grade, I would say). If your family unit is strong, living abroad adds to the bond (particularly among siblings) and creates lasting positive memories. I learned to value other cultures - their histories, architecture, art and food.

[Anonymous]

My family (oil) were stationed in Paris when I was in preschool/kindergarten. My parents didn’t speak french (and English was their second language). I learned french while there, and have always felt more comfortable in french than english. When we moved back, it was always dry lonely speaking french essentially alone. I missed my Foods, my french tv, my friends. My children speak frEnch now, and i became a french teacher. The years abroad might affect your children more than you might expect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am from one European country and lived in 2 other European countries for 4-5 years each. At the time borders were not open and they really operated as completely different countries.

I don't remember much from the first, that I left at 7, but my fondest childhood memories come from the second, where I lived from 7-12. I picked up permanent cultural, culinary and literary tastes from that country.

I've actually spent more time here in the US that in my home country now, which feels so strange. However, my multiculturalism has made me very adaptable and flexible. It is easy for me to understand multiple points of view, particularly when they stem from national differences.

I would say that the disadvantages are on the trailing spouse side: my mother could not work, and had the difficult task of leaving family and friends, and trying to make new friends at a time in her life when it was not easy for her.

Yes. I would be the trailing spouse. I am very worried about that.

PP from above who lived in Austria. We moved for my job and DH couldn’t work there so he did a post-doc fellowship at the university and was able to earn more with it once we came home. Would another degree or certification help your career, OP?

[Anonymous]

Because of Trump, Americans are universally hated. Your children will suffer because if this.