Worried about mental health implications for kids and adults

[Anonymous]

We just got the order from VA about the stay at home order until June 10th. I am so worried about the mental health implications this will have on my already very emotional and sensitive 5 year old. She thrives on predictability and routine schedule. This has thrown everything into the air (like most people!) and she is just not coping well. Multiple melt downs over trivial things, lethargic and only wants to watch tv, sitting around saying how she hates everything and hates her life. I am trying to be as gentle and calming toward her as possible but it is wearing on me. In addition to her I have a 3 year old and a 7 week old who I need to take care of.

Obviously we are taking the corona virus seriously but I am concerned about the long term ramifications of a 3 month stay at home isolation/quarantine is going to have.

[Anonymous]

My kid is siimilar. We set up an explicit and fun schedule. With lots of fun things my son like doing.

It's not easy, but it's doable and obviously necessary.

Keep in mind that you can still play in the back yard and go to an empty park without a playground.

[Anonymous]

Kids have survived pandemics and war zones for thousands of years.

[Anonymous]

Daily Chores. Kids and people like routine and direction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids have survived pandemics and war zones for thousands of years.

That doesn’t mean their mental health wasn’t impacted.

[Anonymous]

I have an anxious 9 year old. She's definitely been high strung and show some regression. This is what I've been doing:

-creating a simple daily schedule with her input that includes stuff she likes and time for us to do fun stuff together
-saying explicitly every day: things are strange right now but we are safe and I love you
-listening to her fears and empathizing rather than minimizing-so "what if grammy and grandad die?" response: "it's scary when we are worried about people we love."
-talking about the fun things we will do when this is over
-having stuffed animals talk about their fears and frustrations
-getting outside every day
-getting exercise every day

[Anonymous]

I'm with you OP .

I had a good routine going - something fun and engaging each day, but it is becoming boring and trite and I'm running out of ideas to pass the days. It tires me out too (I don't have the daily mental challenge or stimulation, etc) . And the gloom & doom from the news and tighter restrictions don't help.

We've been working on a 300 pc jigsaw puzzle. I started it on Sunday, set it up on the dining rm table, and each time one of the kids or I pass through we find ourselves working on it.

DDs started virtual play dates on Tues & Thurs via facetime/whatsapp with her friend from school. The "play" barbies, make crafts together, sing together, dance, etc. so cute.

Not much, but it is something. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I do care about mental health, too. I do make my kids get outside every day. I’m getting outside to play with them more myself too (I do work from home, though, so I am not able to play all the time). I was playing wiffle ball with my 8 year old the other day, and my 80 year old next door neighbor was also outside doing yard work and he said he was impressed with my wiffle ball skills, hah

I am also trying to do fun things as a family that we didn’t have time for before - such as watching the Marvel movies in chronological order. My husband nought s’mores making so we will do that in the backyard one night too.

But I am open to hearing other ideas of fun things too. I don’t consider online school work or FaceTime with friends & relatives to be “screen time” anymore. I only consider video games / TV / movies to be screen time now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids have survived pandemics and war zones for thousands of years.

That doesn’t mean their mental health wasn’t impacted.

+100

Talk about major childhood trauma - just take a look at the Syrian refugee camps, the ones throughout Africa, the immigration ones in Greece, etc. Heartbreaking.

And you think PTSD is just an adult thing.

[Anonymous]

Does she have friends with whom she can chat via FaceTime? It's helping a lot here--also 5 year old. A couple of times they have taken parents' phones and run off to play, each with the same kind of toys on the separate ends of the line. Definitely a mood-improver.

[Anonymous]

Let her FaceTime with people, see if the class will do a zoom meeting so she can see her friends and look forward to something, let her choose her activities, have her start a “journal” where every day she writes about something she learned, something she is happy about, something that might worry her, let her get those feelings out. Don’t put anything on tv be selective in the programming. My 5yo is fascinated by a show called how the universe works explaining astronomy. Try the wildlife channel and talk about biology with her. Teach her how to fold clothes or match socks. Let her help make a pbj sandwich. Weave her into a new routine, requiring all of us to be flexible. Good luck. I have a 5yo and this has helped, hope something here someone suggests helps your family OP.

[Anonymous]

Kids tend to handle crisis situations the same way their parents do. If you create a calm, peaceful, structured environment, she will adapt to the change. If you are anxious, hyper-focused on the pandemic, or depressed, she will pick up on that. The best thing you can do as a parent is create a peaceful new normal.

[Anonymous]

PS: for a 5yo journal, she can “write” however she wants. Draw a picture, words, cut and paste pics from magazines, color a pattern, practice making up a story. Whatever she wants give her a safe space to capture her feelings and for you guys to talk about it

[Anonymous]

My 5yo also suggested daily yoga, I think they did it in PE at her school, I had no idea until she did a namaste now there are tons of YouTube’s out there and videos where we can get through it together! Practice calming a few minutes a day, or at least a couple of times a week. Play music! Music is good for the soul, mind, and heart. Have a dance party after work. Be creative!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just got the order from VA about the stay at home order until June 10th. I am so worried about the mental health implications this will have on my already very emotional and sensitive 5 year old. She thrives on predictability and routine schedule. This has thrown everything into the air (like most people!) and she is just not coping well. Multiple melt downs over trivial things, lethargic and only wants to watch tv, sitting around saying how she hates everything and hates her life. I am trying to be as gentle and calming toward her as possible but it is wearing on me. In addition to her I have a 3 year old and a 7 week old who I need to take care of.

Obviously we are taking the corona virus seriously but I am concerned about the long term ramifications of a 3 month stay at home isolation/quarantine is going to have.

This is a hard time, and you definitely have your hands full.

Is there a possibility about squeezing in some one-on-one time with her with at least one parent per day without the other kids? This is a parenting technique suggested by a lot of experts including dr. Shapiro.