How to deal with "busybody" parents in your child's class?

[Anonymous]

Does anyone else have this problem? I want to fit in and build relationships with the families in my child's daycare center, but I can not stand the gossipy nature of some of these families. It seems like every day at pick-up there is a group of parents that are gathered around bashing everything about the classroom and the center. We went to a birthday party for a child in the class this weekend and the entire party a group of parents bashed the center director and assistant director and the classroom teachers. It makes me not want to participate in parties any longer, but I don't want my child to miss out. Now there is a parent stuffing our mailboxes with notes about creating a listserve so the parents can gossip some more. I know that I am not the only parent who is frustrated by these busybody families (there are about 4 of them who I think are the ringleaders), as a few other parents have said it makes them uncomfortable as well. There has been some turnover in our classroom/center recently, but I think the center is handling it quite well. The classroom is doing better then is has for the last year, it is in a great place. My child is so excited to come to school and I am really happy with the program that is provided. I know many other people are felling the same way. Any advice on how to avoid the busybodies or put a stop to it? Ignoring them does not seem to work. Ultimately, if they are so unhappy I know I wish they would just go somewhere else and open up spaces in the room for those that would be glad to take them and may be nicer families!

[Anonymous]

You will find gossips and busy bodies and complainers at every school just as you will find nice, warm, and kind parenst at every school. Its the way the world is. I am actually surprised tht this is going on at a daycare center. Don't most of the parents work, and need to get going after drop off? Dont they have way more important things to deal with back at the office? I do find that parents with super busy lives and hectic schedules seem to have less time to gossip.

[Anonymous]

IMO what keeps a 'busy body' going is fuel... just ignore then or say something along the lines of, We really like it here. I would just try to befriend the other parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will find gossips and busy bodies and complainers at every school just as you will find nice, warm, and kind parenst at every school. Its the way the world is. I am actually surprised tht this is going on at a daycare center. Don't most of the parents work, and need to get going after drop off? Dont they have way more important things to deal with back at the office? I do find that parents with super busy lives and hectic schedules seem to have less time to gossip.

Well, apparently "super busy" working parents aren't any better than non-working parents.

[Anonymous]

well someobody sure is sensitive. I never said anything about the "super busy and hectic parents" being working parents. You read into that something that was not there. Why were you even looking for it? The working v. stay at home fight is sooo old and tired. I just said busy and hectic parents seem to have too much going on to waste time gossiping. Stay-at-homes can be busy and hectic too with life in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't most of the parents work, and need to get going after drop off? Dont they have way more important things to deal with back at the office? I do find that parents with super busy lives and hectic schedules seem to have less time to gossip.

Yes, actually, you did say it.

[Anonymous]

No I didn't, you inferred it all by yourself. You made a leap from the second sentence to the last one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No I didn't, you inferred it all by yourself. You made a leap from the second sentence to the last one.

Yes, she did infer it. The inference is a reasonable one. It's not a "leap" at all. You obviously don't being told that you have a negative bias, but you do.

[Anonymous]

Most of the parents at our child's center are working parents, but if they are stay at home parents or working parents, it amazes me how they have so much time to focus on being negative. I try really hard to stay out of it, but it just seems like people want to drag everyone down with them if they are unhappy. It makes me sad because I am afraid the teachers are going to get wind of their negative attitudes and get upset. I don't think that some parents realize that they can impact the turnover at a center as well, solely because the teachers don't want to deal with their attitudes. One of our old teachers used to babysit for us and after she left the center she told me it was in large part beacuse the parents in her classroom were so difficult and down-right mean. I just don't want that to happen to our new teachers. Do you think it would be appropriate for me to ask other parents if they would like to do something nice for the teachers to show that some of us appreciate them?

[Anonymous]

That seems like a great idea - one of the things I like about the day care we use is how much the parents do to let the teachers know they're appreciated - I think it helps keep the place feeling "happy" overall and I hope that it helps the teachers want to stick around!