Everyone’s at each other’s throats

[Anonymous]

I am sure others are experiencing this too but after 2 weeks of working from home and no school or activities we are all starting to lose it. My kids, almost 2 and 6.5 are fighting or annoying one another non-stop although they never really fought before. The younger one - DS - is entering a really challenging age/phase with tantrums, disobedience, and being destructive and it’s making us all crazy. The older one - DD - is acting out because the younger one gets more attention because he can’t be left alone for a second and can’t really entertain himself. DS just wants to do whatever DD is doing but she doesn’t want to play with him which makes him go ballistic. DH has a demanding job and is working from home non-stop and extremely short and irritable because the kids are whiny all the time, the house is a disaster, and his company will not lighten the workload. I also work FT but am getting almost nothing done during the day and work from like 8pm to 1am daily, so I am exhausted. The hard part is there are virtually no activities the kids both enjoy that we can do together as a family due to our age gap, which makes it so difficult.

I am sure this is the new normal for many right now, but what are you doing to stay sane? How do you get everyone to take a deep breath and reset so the next 4+ weeks are not pure misery for all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sure others are experiencing this too but after 2 weeks of working from home and no school or activities we are all starting to lose it. My kids, almost 2 and 6.5 are fighting or annoying one another non-stop although they never really fought before. The younger one - DS - is entering a really challenging age/phase with tantrums, disobedience, and being destructive and it’s making us all crazy. The older one - DD - is acting out because the younger one gets more attention because he can’t be left alone for a second and can’t really entertain himself. DS just wants to do whatever DD is doing but she doesn’t want to play with him which makes him go ballistic. DH has a demanding job and is working from home non-stop and extremely short and irritable because the kids are whiny all the time, the house is a disaster, and his company will not lighten the workload. I also work FT but am getting almost nothing done during the day and work from like 8pm to 1am daily, so I am exhausted. The hard part is there are virtually no activities the kids both enjoy that we can do together as a family due to our age gap, which makes it so difficult.

I am sure this is the new normal for many right now, but what are you doing to stay sane? How do you get everyone to take a deep breath and reset so the next 4+ weeks are not pure misery for all?

Try meditation, set parameters with family and kids before you go to a quiet room, close the door and allow yourself 15, 20 or 30 minutes. It does wonders..really! Or even try the Calm app and just sit and listen.

[Anonymous]

I hired a babysitter. It was either that or our marriage seriously might fall apart.

[Anonymous]

We have a similar age gap, with a 3 and a 7 year old. Today we tried to have as much parent-child one-on-one time as possible, before DH is locked in the home office tomorrow while I try to homeschool. It’s hard. It’s just going to be hard for a while. We try to remember we are a team and communicate that to our kids. But there’s definitely a lot of sniping and short tempers.

[Anonymous]

It is just hard. My brother and sister in law were at a breaking point so I offered to take their two kids for a couple days. Then they got in a fight over me taking the kids and now they are mad at me too!

A lot of people are just on edge, irritable, and not coping well. In my case, there were already issues and mental illness at play in my brother and SIL's home and this has just exacerbated everything. They are also on different pages regarding degree of anxiety and what social distancing means and the kids are picking up on all that stress and acting out.

It is just hard and it is okay that it isn't going well. Do whatever you can to make it easier on any of you.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure why we are bothering with all this when people are hiring babysitters for their kids. Way to go to flatten that curve!

[Anonymous]

The right thing to do is take leave or negotiate reduced hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hired a babysitter. It was either that or our marriage seriously might fall apart.

That wasn’t wise unless the sitter lives alone and is only seeing your family and no one else. And even at that, you took a risk. Not smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The right thing to do is take leave or negotiate reduced hours.

Is this possible, OP?

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are truly not getting anything done during the day, can you leave the house with your toddler first thing and drive to a deserted park and play or run for two hours and then start at 9:30 or 10? Fresh air and exercise might help him/her re-calibrate. And sounds like everyone needs a little space. Plus making it into a schedule and a time where toddler gets 1:1 time might help really wear him/her out so you get more nap time.

good luck!

[Anonymous]

we're in a similar situation. This is why we eased up on screen time, esp for our eldest. unfortunately we don't have a yard.