Confirmed covid case at parent's assisted living facility -- anything I should do to prepare?
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Anonymous
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Families were informed the other day that there was a confirmed covid case at my parent's residence. It was a resident who went to the hospital for some other reason last week and then returned and started having symptoms a few days later. They have been taken back to the hospital. I'm told that staff were wearing protective gear while dealing with the resident while he or she was in quarantine after coming back from the hospital, but I don't have high confidence in how cautious they all are. All residents receive medicines and meals in their rooms now, so staff members are entering multiple rooms, and also helping multiple residents with showers, hygiene, laundry, etc. My father is relatively ok mentally, but there are lapses in his thinking and judgment, and his hygiene is questionable at this point.
I don't know if there's anything I can or should do, or suggest or send to him. I had already sent him about 10 days' worth of emergency food just in case staff or food stop being able to reach the facility (he's in an area that's near a national epicenter), but he insisted I don't send any more. I call every day. I worry about something happening, and him getting taken to a hospital, and me not being able to communicate with him at all because of overwhelmed hospital staff. He's in a very vulnerable situation and no other relatives live nearby any more. I called him this evening and he coughed lightly a couple of times during the call. It freaked me out, but he said it was just because he had some food bothering his throat. He said he doesn't have a sore throat or any other complaint. |
Anonymous
| Sending food isn't helpful as it may not ge two him. Beyond going and getting him and bringing him home, nothing you can do. |
Anonymous
| Why can't you have him stay with you? |
Anonymous
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It's a very bad outlook, OP, let's not mince words.
At this point either you go get him now, as in, you show up tomorrow morning, knowing he might already be infected and might expose your entire family (you should stay home, not go to work!)... or you let him ride it out there and take his chance. The public health issues is travel. You don't want to contribute to the spread by stopping en route and exposing rest stops along the way, or being exposed. Take as much precautions as you can. I'm sorry. All families with loved ones in nursing homes are in the same quandary. |
Anonymous
| Go get him. |
Anonymous
| I cannot go get him -- I have a child to look after, he's more than 1,000 miles away, and he wouldn't want to leave anyway. I just don't know if there's anything else I can do from a distance. |
Anonymous
| Since he's coughing, get him tested at least. Insist on it. |
Anonymous
Why? It’s not going to change how he’s cared for. Everyone knows he’s been exposed. There is no magic treatment. It’s all about managing symptoms at this point. Care facilities have been preparing long before the rest of us. But thing is, even the best practices arent going to completely prevent the spread of the disease. And, you are right, OP, if your father ends up in a hospital you won’t be able to visit or probably communicate with him unless he has a cellphone. |
Anonymous
Some states are limiting drug treatment to cases with positive tests. If OPs dad is in such a state, a positive test will give their Doctor flexibility. |
Anonymous
While I'm sure it's not what OP wants to read, if they are "limiting drug treatment" maybe people in nursing homes shouldn't be the ones selected to receive it. |
Anonymous
| I love my dad, but he is nearly 80 and has so many health issues that he is already on borrowed time. He is hospitalized 2 to 3 times a year. He currently has an non-COVID-19 condition that requires the use of PPE when staff interact with him. If there’s a limited therapy that becomes available, he should not get it over someone else. Especially not a child, young parent, essential worker, etc. |
Anonymous
Doctors were beginning to prescribe prophylactically for friends and family. They are limiting it so the people who actually have Covid have access |
Anonymous
| I have no advice OP. Just writing to say that I'm in the same position with my parents--though a little different since they are together in there. But they are completely quarantined to their room, may only go out to terrace outside their room. I have been lecturing my mother about washing her hands after she unpacks the meals they deliver and immediately throwing out packaging. I don't think she's really listening. Beyond that, I don't know there's much we can do. Just keep checking up on him. Best of luck! |
Anonymous
I am sorry but that sounds like "if we didn't kill him the first time, bring him back. we will for sure the second time!" |
Anonymous
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There is nothing you can do from a distance.
As to your question, "How to prepare?" all I can say is this: Prepare by steeling yourself up emotionally, and fully understand that time with your father is limited. Even without Covid. Prepare by enjoying every minute you can speak to him on the phone. Talk about things you may never have talked about before. It need not be dire - talk about fond memories, funny moments, what his life was like as a child, what is the best advice he would tell his grandkids at 18, etc. Find a way to tell him that whatever regrets he had in life he should know that he was a great dad. Tell him he is loved. Prepare by reminding yourself you are doing the best that you can under the circumstances. As difficult as it is, prepare for the fact that your father may get sick and die, and you may not see him again or speak to him in his final days/hours. Every day is a gift and every conversation is a connection. Don't waste any of them. |