A lot of ironic comments about kids driving parents crazy, but need advice about kid w addiction

[Anonymous]

This is for a girlfriend who isn't on this forum.

She has an almost 22 year old child. I won't say the kid's gender. This kid has been living at home with her for a while, adhering to a contract to keep an addiction under control.

The kid is now breaking all the rules, clearly using this time of crisis to his/her advantage.

My friend is at a loss. Her kid is breaking the contract and is increasingly impossible to live with (she also has two teenaged children at home to think about). I personally think a long term psychiatric hospitalization is needed. I'm guessing getting admitted to a psychiatric ward right now is a terrible idea, hospitals are projected to be at a breaking point soon. This kid has been in and out of treatment for years, nothing has worked.

What would you do in this situation?

[Anonymous]

You can only be hospitalized if you’re a risk to self or others, and most private hospitalizations are only 5-7 days long if he/she is even admitted.

Realistically, she needs to kick him/her out. Stop enabling. Simple answer that is very hard to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can only be hospitalized if you’re a risk to self or others, and most private hospitalizations are only 5-7 days long if he/she is even admitted.

Realistically, she needs to kick him/her out. Stop enabling. Simple answer that is very hard to do.

I think the worry is kicking a kid out in the midst of this. He/she really doesn't have anywhere to go. I think if it were any other time, my friend would have already kicked the kid out.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think she can do anything change him. She can say if you’re going to live here, you have to adhere to these basic rules. But she needs to be ready for him to say no and move out. Despite you calling him a child and a kid, he is not one. He’s an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think she can do anything change him. She can say if you’re going to live here, you have to adhere to these basic rules. But she needs to be ready for him to say no and move out. Despite you calling him a child and a kid, he is not one. He’s an adult.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can only be hospitalized if you’re a risk to self or others, and most private hospitalizations are only 5-7 days long if he/she is even admitted.

Realistically, she needs to kick him/her out. Stop enabling. Simple answer that is very hard to do.

That’s one kind of hospitalization.

Op,

She needs to contact a mental health professional who specializes in addiction.

[Anonymous]

Psychiatric and drug addiction are two different things. First you treat the addiction and if she's self medicating, then you treat the mental health.

[Anonymous]

She needs to reach out to his sponsor, his therapist, whatever he's got.

[Anonymous]

You can’t admit someone to a psychiatric ward against their will for addiction.

If 22yo is endangering the younger kids, 22’s gotta go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Psychiatric and drug addiction are two different things. First you treat the addiction and if she's self medicating, then you treat the mental health.

I think that's the issue here - they've treated the addiction and gotten it "on hold" for a while, but the addiction always come back. It feels like banging your head against a wall. No one has really addressed the underlying issue. In fact, my friend doesn't even really understand what the underlying issue is with her kid. Probably a mix of depression and anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Stop calling him a kid. He’s a junkie adult.

Kick him out, you can save him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop calling him a kid. He’s a junkie adult.

Kick him out, you can save him.

*Can’t save him

[Anonymous]

If she's paying for his/hr car she can take the car keys (and the car) away.

If she thinks he/she has drugs in their room she can go into the room, search it and dispose of the drugs. It's her house and drugs are not allowed in her house. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can only be hospitalized if you’re a risk to self or others, and most private hospitalizations are only 5-7 days long if he/she is even admitted.

Realistically, she needs to kick him/her out. Stop enabling. Simple answer that is very hard to do.

I think the worry is kicking a kid out in the midst of this. He/she really doesn't have anywhere to go. I think if it were any other time, my friend would have already kicked the kid out.

Then your friend just has to live with it. It’s my reality too - both personally and extended family. My brother had to kick his daughter out. Mine shaped up after the reality of the corona virus hit. But frankly there are no other real options.

I will say that there is something to understanding and addressing the underlying issues. My kid spent more than six months in RTC addressing his mental health issues. That has been a high factor in my kid’s success. There are programs available and accepting kids now but I don’t know of anything for people over the age of 19.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can only be hospitalized if you’re a risk to self or others, and most private hospitalizations are only 5-7 days long if he/she is even admitted.

Realistically, she needs to kick him/her out. Stop enabling. Simple answer that is very hard to do.

I think the worry is kicking a kid out in the midst of this. He/she really doesn't have anywhere to go. I think if it were any other time, my friend would have already kicked the kid out.

Then your friend just has to live with it. It’s my reality too - both personally and extended family. My brother had to kick his daughter out. Mine shaped up after the reality of the corona virus hit. But frankly there are no other real options.

I will say that there is something to understanding and addressing the underlying issues. My kid spent more than six months in RTC addressing his mental health issues. That has been a high factor in my kid’s success. There are programs available and accepting kids now but I don’t know of anything for people over the age of 19.

Thank you for this - what is RTC and why wouldn't it be available for someone over 19? Thank you.