Embryo Adoption Questions

[Anonymous]

After spending quite a while on DCUM while trying to conceive, my husband and I now have 2 children, thanks to IVF. We also have a number of frozen embryos and, for a variety of reasons, we have decided not to try to have additional children. We are hoping to be able to place these embryos for "adoption," and our fertility doctor is associated with a program, but it seems to have some readily apparent issues. Does anyone have experience or advice regarding embryo donation programs, whether you've used on or know of anyone who has?

A few of the parameters that would make us more comfortable would be:

(1) A requirement that all embryos adopted be used for attempted pregnancies or promptly returned for re-adoption by someone else (the program at our doc's office allows people to adopt "batches" of embryos - to allow for genetically-related siblings - but then allows the adopters to decide the fate of the embryos, including choices to discard the embryos or donate them to science, which is not acceptable to us).

(2) We'd like to know if a child was born, the child's gender, and the month of birth. This is not an attempt to have a relationship with someone else's child formed from our genetic embryo, but rather so that we would know that there is someone else "out there somewhere." Also, if no child were born, we would never likely mention the embryos to anyone. If a child is born, we would feel it necessary to tell our children (once they are older). Also, it would decrease the likelihood of our thinking that every child that looks remotely like us was biologically related to us.

Does anyone know how these issues are treated in any embryo adoption programs. Also, am I asking for too much by wanting these parameters? Are they simply not available?

Also, I wish everyone well who is visiting this forum. It was a heart-wrenching time of my life that I will never forget, but it has ended very well, and I hope the same for you.

[Anonymous]

My children were conceived with the use of anonymous donor sperm. In the sperm donation world, which has been around for a long time, the options are (1) completely anonymous, (2) donors who agree to meet offspring if offspring are over 18 and ask and (3) private arrangements. I ended up (single mom) using (1) after reading profiles from some men enrolled under (2) and thinking they sounded crazy. I imagine with the requirements that you have set, you are looking for a private arrangement. I would suggest looking for an out of state RE, who could receive the embryos on behalf of a pro-life family, who would agree to comply with your notice requirements. I suspect you'll need to make these arrangements yourself, not via an established program. You would then know the state where the RE practiced and his/her name. good luck and thanks for your generosity!

[Anonymous]

You might be able to find some insight on the board I have provided the link for below. Let them know you are looking for feedback on donating embryos in the title and provide the info above. While most of the women have used donor eggs, a good number have used donor embryo and can likely share their experience on where you might find what you are looking for. Best of luck to you!

http://www.network54.com/Forum/247611/