Waiting for a D&C after first IUI. Warning - Detail. :(

[Anonymous]

I've finally had confirmation that my pregnancy is not viable and now I'm waiting to schedule my D&C (again). I'm 8 1/2 weeks now. The past two weeks have been a roller coaster because I had gone to the RE for an u/s at 6 1/2 weeks and was given bad news (measured small and no heartbeat) and told to schedule a D&C. Then the following week, after mourning the loss, I went in for a confirmation u/s prior to my procedure that day only to find a strong heartbeat - a surprise to all. The sac was still measuring one full week behind so they told me to be "cautiously optimistic" but that there was still as strong chance I would miscarry. But we cancelled the D&C since there was definitely hope. I was on pins and needles all week! Yesterday (one week later), my subsequent u/s showed that the pregnancy is not viable. The heartrate had slowed significantly and things meaured very very small.

It's over... but yet it's not quite over. I'm waiting to schedule a D&C for next week if I don't miscarry beforehand. I just want to move on at this point. Seeing the heartbeat made things harder. The fact that it's "still in there" is bothering me. I was too upset to think to ask at the time, but I wonder if the reason they want me to wait one more week before the D&C is so that the heartrate has a chance to stop on its own. Perhaps that would be easier to take emotionally than to end things when there is even a faint heartbeat.

What do you even call this state of limbo? I haven't miscarried or terminated yet. I suppose I'm still technically pregnant. I've already had two weeks to begin processing this. So now I'm ready to move on. I have a beautiful 3 year old DD, so I have much to be thankful for and that helps SO much. Plus the fact that the IUI worked the first time is a really good sign. I guess I just wanted to vent.

[Anonymous]

I have no advice (I've never been pregnant or had a m/c before), but I just wanted to say how sorry I am. That really sucks. Take care of yourself...

[Anonymous]

OP, I did not do IUI, nor have I had such up and down, but I too am waiting to m/c naturally or have a D&C next week. It's tough, and I am so sorry. I am not thinking this of something dead inside me. I am thinking of this as something that wasn't meant to be this time. The cells didn't come together the way they needed to. If they continued to come together the way they were, things would just have ended badly later. Better now than a few weeks from now. Sorry to seem harsh, but this is how I am getting through this.

[Anonymous]

PP, this is the OP. I'm sorry you are going through this as well. Your post did not seem harsh at all - very encouraging. I actually do believe those things too and I think you definitely have the right attitude. I guess I'm just feeling ready to move on and tired of the waiting. Best of luck to both of us next week!