Best tips on what to expect & how to stay sane during IVF?

[Anonymous]

I'm starting IVF for the first time this month and bracing myself for the journey ahead.

What are your best tips on what to expect and how to stay sane during the early phases? I'm already feeling a bit anxious about the physical and mental impact of the medications, all the injections involved, etc...

Thanks in advance!

[Anonymous]

Don’t get discouraged or overly excited about the daily ups and downs - they give you a lot of almost real time info and in the end the only thing that matters is the positive pregnancy test (and subsequent baby hopefully). For example you may only have three follicles, or a really beautiful lining or whatever- try to keep your eye on the long game.

Don’t disrupt your normal life - go out with friends, have fun with husband, etc..

Push back on the nurse if you don’t understand something or something doesn’t seem right. You’re your best advocate.

Make early appts for monitoring so you don’t have to wait. If you go at 8 vs 7:30 the time sitting around could be significant.

Don’t have all your hopes stacked on one Ivf. For most people it take a few cycles and that’s ok.

If the first one doesn’t work make sure in your wtf appt with your doctor you have some type of change in strategy. The first one is often just to see how your body reacts to the protocol so they can tweak stuff on the second cycle.

Eat plenty of protein and veggies. Take whatever supplements (if any) they recommend.... and just breathe - you got this!

[Anonymous]

Be careful about who you tell. I wouldn’t tell anyone who hasn’t been through IVF themselves unless they are very close family (like ... your mother). It’s exhausting to go through and even more exhausting to explain to people who don’t know the terminology and don’t understand that IVF doesn’t always work and even if it does, it can take literally years.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the other poster about being careful who you confide in. So many people want to go super public with their “IVF journey” and I think it can become really overwhelming when you and your spouse are thinking and talking about it nonstop, and then you have friends, family, coworkers who are all in the know and asking questions or for updates. At some point, you are just going to want a break from all of it, I promise! We told just my parents, and then about three friends who stayed tightlipped through the process. I knew I had people I could talk to other than my husband if I wanted or needed to, but I didn’t have people in my daily life constantly asking me for updates.

As for the physical stuff, all I can say is after your first few appointments you just get more used to it. You get used to lots of bloodwork, lots of internal ultrasounds, lots of undesirable side effects and discharge and loads and loads of appointments. It just becomes normal. For better or worse, I kind of felt like all the stuff that we went through trying to get pregnant made me a lot more relaxed once we did get pregnant. As far as the physical stuff goes I wasn’t as fazed as I probably would have been had I not been used to tons invasive procedures. So a little odd silver lining there.

Wishing you lots of luck.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Thank you *so* much to everyone for all the thoughtful and generous responses. I've been all over the map for months thinking about whether I'd want to/have to go through with IVF, and it's extraordinarily helpful and reassuring to hear from people who've been through this journey before. I truly appreciate all your advice and well wishes.

Trying to take a deep breath and keep my fingers crossed...