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Infertility Support and Discussion
New to forum.. any help is appreciated
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Anonymous
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Hello,
I'm 34, turning 35 in April, and have a wonderful 2 year old that was a bit of a surprise, and we're realizing how lucky we are to have conceived so easily the first time around. I have been ttc, off the pill since April of last year but no luck so far. My DH travels a bit and I always ovulate mid-week, which is not the easiest timing as he works about 14 hrs/day. I've tried pressing him on the importance of timing when it comes to actually trying to get pregnant, but he claims it puts too much pressure and I'm making him feel like it's a "job". I'm trying to be sensitive to his thoughts on the subject, but after 9 months I'm getting discouraged. I know he wants another child, and we do have sex about 3 times/week, but it never seems to be the right time. He's under lots of pressure and stress in his job, I'm not sure if that would play a part in our issue? I'm starting to wonder if there is anything I can do on my own to help fertility chances. I have a feeling getting him to address this in front of a dr will be like pulling teeth. My DD loves babies and other kids and at this point I'm very anxious to make her a little sibling. Any and all advice/help is appreciated.. thanks in advance. |
Anonymous
If you're not actually having sex around the time you ovulate, then as you know, you're not going to be able to get pregnant  If you have been having sex around ovulation time for the past 9 months, though, then you could start with getting day 3 bloodwork done and a HSG to make sure your tubes are clear and having DH have a semen analysis. Good luck!
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Anonymous
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A couple of suggestions if you are not ready to go to the doctor - Have you been using ovulation predictor kits or taking your temp to determine ovulation timing? Both of those things are easy places to start. If you use ovulation predictor kits, then the recommendation is to have sex the day of surge and again 2 days after - surge on monday and then again on wed. Having sex the day in between is optional. Another method is to try having sex on cd10, 12, 14 and 16. If you temp, you will only know you ovulated after it has occured (thus not giving you a shot at trying that month), but it can help you target exactly when you ovulate and whether you have a short luteal phase, which can be addressed with progesterone supplementation.
Otherwise, I agree with 13.21 to get testing done. You never know what else might be at play. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| If you're really that regular, where you always ovulate mid-week, you might try shifting your cycle, maybe by taking progesterone in your luteal phase, to delay your period. How far away is your husband during the week? Drivable? Then, if you're serious, I would drive to see him around ovulation. |
Anonymous
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Your hubs' "complaints" sound a bit like my hub's the first time 'round. We had to have a frank conversation about what we each wanted, and how we wanted to approach the situation. I must admit, only recently (and my DD is 2.5 yo!!!) did my hubs say something that made me realize he had some misinformation about cycles, timing, and likelihood of conceiving.
When I told him the 'facts,' he seemed to pop into line with, you know, giving it a good shot when the time was right. Anyway, a nice, thorough conversation might clear up what it is you both want and what your underlying assumptions are. |
Anonymous
Why would you suggest she do all that? She and her husband already have a child. No need for more tests, but maybe some time to talk over the situation with you DH. |
Anonymous
Not necessarily. I have one child conceived naturally that when we went to ttc #2, we found out was basically a miracle conception based on the problems both DH and I have. |
Anonymous
I am in the same situation. It's not meant to be alarmist to make these suggestions, but these are easy to-dos that can either put you at ease, or steer you down the road to a solution (to any potential problems). |
Anonymous
Just because she conceived naturally the first time, doesn't mean she will the second time. We all know that a woman's body changes with age and she's going to be 35 soon. Doesn't mean she's not completely healthy, but somethings going on. |
Anonymous
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just wanted to say to the OP that I could have written your post exactly!! I am still not pregnant, but what it took for my husband to get on board was a very blunt conversation about timing/ovulation, etc. I told him what I had learned from Dr, books, etc about how many months it can take to get pregnant, even when you are having sex on the exact right days (which we weren't, and not often enough, bc he felt like I was pressuring him), and emphasized our ages, etc and then he seemed to get it. It also probably did not hurt that I got a referral to a fertility specialist (Dominion) and was able to come home and tell my husband that teh Dr said we needed to do XYZ. Now I can tell him what my ovulation sticks looks like and he can pencil in thr right days, which helps him plan at work so he can be home at a somewhat reasonable hour. And we try to make sex those times very short and sweet to not exhaust us further.
he still does not have the same urgency about it, and I would guess most men dont. We are of course knowing exactly what is going on with our bodies every day, and watching the clock tick and realizing it is tonight, or to wait another month, etc but they just dont have it on their minds the same way. And it made me feel like he didnt care. But he does want a second baby, and I needed to hear him tell me that. |