How important is it for young children to remain in the same school over several years?

[Anonymous]

Our child was admitted to a wonderful school for K; unfortunately, said wonderful school is rather far away. We applied to it as a back-up for that reason; were it closer to our home, it would definitely be one of our top choices. Some friends are urging us to send our child there for K and then reapply to more convenient schools for 1st grade. I'm inclined not to do this. Once she's in school, I'd like her to be able to count on being there for at least several years. But other people keep on telling me how resilient kids are...and the commute is going to be painful, especially since my vision is not great, which is why I try to limit my driving.

How important is it for children to stay in the same school at this age? Would it be better or worse to try to move her in 3rd or 4th grade, as opposed to 1st? Should we just suck it up, assuming my eyes hold out, and plan to keep her there until high school?

[Anonymous]

I don't know the answer, but I hope it is okay to move them b/c my child is in a great Kindergarten, we are moving before child starts 1st grade, and then moving back when child starts 4th grade. (hopefully to same school). I think it depends on the child. I do not think this is an ideal situation but it is what is going to happen. If my child was like I was as a child, I would of put my foot down about moving. I was very shy and did not like moving, although we did quite often and I turned out okay and not shy at all anymore. Who knows what is really the right thing to do. We have a few families leaving after this year at my child's school for various reasons, and all think this is the time to do it. good luck

[Anonymous]

The research generally suggests that children do lose something by switching. It isn't the kiss of death, but all else equal (which it never is), moving kids slows down their academic progress. However, if you are making a switch, it is because all else isn't equal.

Things to think about:
a) there are other things that affect your child's education besides not switching schools. Don't bite your nose to spite your face.
b) if you do move your child, you should time it so that is doesn't screw up their standardized test year (for example, in VA, I wouldn't switch between second and third if I could help it, but between first and second is fine.)
c) our wise principal said to us "every year is a new decision" - just because a school is right initially, doesn't mean it is the right place when/if problems crop up. Switching isn't the end of the world.
d) commuting sucks - what if your vision gets worse?

[Anonymous]

You should look at the schools to which you would apply in 1st grade. Most major private schools do not accept kids in 1st grade, unless an admitted student drops out (slim chance). The next major entry point is usually 3rd or 4th grade depending on the school.

[Anonymous]

We switched our child after K to a new school for 1st. He'd only been at the school for one year, so the switch was very easy. One thing that made it easy was that he was not extremely happy there. He often stated that he didn't want to go, which was unusual for him. Once he started his new school, it was as though he'd been there all along. He made friends quickly and never mentioned wishing he'd stayed at the other school.

[Anonymous]

My initial reaction is to say don't move unless it is absolutely necessary, but if it is a very occasional move, and if your family is strong in the first place, then it's probably okay.

I grew up moving a LOT -- and not for good reasons. In addition, I was raised in a way that did not at all make me feel nurtured and secure, so the frequent moves were terribly damaging to me. As an already shy child, it was awful for me to constantly be the newbie. Even today, I envy people who have friendships with people that go back to their childhood.

I guess I would say don't under estimate how difficult it is for a child to change schools, but if you've been good parents then the very occasional move is probably okay.

[Anonymous]

We moved every three years or so when I was growing up, because my Dad was in the military. I think kids are very adaptable, but in retrospect and in my situation, I think the impermanence affected my ability to make lasting friendships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved every three years or so when I was growing up, because my Dad was in the military. I think kids are very adaptable, but in retrospect and in my situation, I think the impermanence affected my ability to make lasting friendships.

I moved more often through elementary school. Yes, it has also affected my lasting friendships

[Anonymous]

I too went to many different elementary schools and found it to be a very challenging process.

One factor that I don't believe has been mentioned yet is your child's temperament. I was/am introverted, so the moving around and switching schools was harder on me than it might have been on a more extroverted child.

It is hard to be "the new kid" for most children - but especially for those who are on the more introverted side.

IMHO, and I'm a child and family therapist FWIW, the most important thing that children learn in schools are socialization skills. Interpersonal and group skills have a greater impact in the long run on how happy and successful a child will be than academic achievement per se. For that reason, I would err on the side of keeping a child in a social setting that is a good fit.