Who entertains the kids? And give me less TV.
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Anonymous
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A confession. For some reason I’ve let my kids entertain themselves with TV too much lately.
I have been thinking, and I decided I’ve been doing it because if they’re not entertained, they may ask me to entertain them. Then I would have to enforce boundaries (or maybe work harder, which I am sometimes OK with, sometimes not OK with) Tell me your thoughts. Who is responsible for entertaining them? How about for the different ages in my family: 8, 5, and almost 3. I know they are largely responsible for their own entertainment; and I know that includes a small amount TV. Help me define some of this stuff here. |
Anonymous
| What? |
Anonymous
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Well I have a 1 and a 3 year old. They do self entertain, but I have to be in the same room as them. So as long as I'm cooking while they do puzzles, that's okay. But if I'm trying to clean a bathroom, they start nagging me nonstop and following me around. DH and I take turns. I would hope by 8 and 5, they self entertain. Or could play outside without supervision.
We don't really do TV. They get like an hour a day on the weekends. |
Anonymous
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OP here. I’m coming from a place that was dark a few months ago. I was an overachiever. For many years. For a long time, this resulted in strict TV watching. Which is good for them. But I was run ragged doing too much for my children. The alternative at the time was complete laziness, when I couldn’t keep up with my high standards. And at those times they watched too much TV.
Now, I have been through a transformation where I’m not taking too much on my shoulders. The kids are doing more work and they are loving it. It’s almost like they were thirsty for an equal share in our family. I am meeting my life, I’m not resenting the older kids (never resented the littlest one), and they’re living their life. The thing that I have it figured out, is now that I am allowing them to be more independent—I’m saying yes to more play dates. I’m saying yes to more of what they want to do. But, that’s including too much screen time.... |
Anonymous
This may or may not be a typical post. I’ve already done a lot of deep thinking; I’m just stuck in the area that I posted on my OP. |
Anonymous
| Maybe just set a time where TV is watched but then it is Off at all other times? My kids watch 1 show before bed. They don't ask for it othewise becuase it is never an option otherwise. |
Anonymous
| *Meeting my life = living my life |
Anonymous
Same (for weekdays). Kids are 4.5 & 7. There isn't much downtime between getting home, eating dinner, and going to bed anyway, especially after adding in one short show. They can play together (or separately). We have enough toys and puzzles. And if they can't find anything to do I ask them to go through their toys to pick out some to give away (sidenote: they usually find something to play with). |
Anonymous
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Agree with the post about set TV times.
Also, if your kids lived without much TV for a while, I am sure they have the skills to entertain themselves and you just have to enforce boundaries. If they don't, because you were entertaining them at other times, then its time to work on those skills. Make sure you have stuff they like to play with (big stack of books from the library for the readers, empty cardboard boxes for the builders, misc art supplies for the artistic ones) and then point to that. Its OK to say "Mom is busy right now" or "Mom is doing something she likes to do, she will do something you like to do later." Go play with _. |
Anonymous
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The problem that parents are relying on the screens too much and the kids arent learning to do things by themselves.
Ive heard Moms say : Im ok with them having down time after school/camp, which is great, but why does down time need to be in front of the TV. Down time could be listening to music or reading a book depending on the age. Kids had downtime before we had the internet and managed just fine. |
Anonymous
| They are responsible for entertaining themselves except the 2 yr old. And we don't do screens at all. We sit down once a year or so and each kid gives me a list of ten indoor things they can do to have fun and ten outdoor things. I write it all out, and post it where all the kids can see. This way they can see things on other kids lists too. This results in the kids often saying "I'm bored ... oh! I can check my list!" and "Gracie, want to bake banana bread with me? It's on your list." |
Anonymous
| My four year old can entertain herself if you give her enough markers, drawing paper and coloring books. My six year old will play with football cards and Pokemon cards. They don't watch a lot of TV but if I'd like an hour of peace and quiet I let them go at it. |
Anonymous
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My kids are 6, 4 and 1. The 6 and 4 year old entertain themselves super well for hours. They play together all the time and love to draw and color. My 1 year old is a different story and I hope that in a year or so will be able to join the older two.
OP, your kids should entertain themselves. My kids never watch TV and never ask for it. It’s always my idea when occasionally (once or twice a month) I propose a movie. |
Anonymous
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When my kids were that age, there was very little screen time. Like none. Now they're teens and tween, they've gotten into certain shows that we enjoy as well, so we watch them in the evening as a family. Everybody gets a turn to pick something. On vacation, they play video games, perhaps an hour a day max. |
Anonymous
Oh, and to answer your question, I expected my young kids to entertain themselves with their toys. I occasionally joined in, but always monitored and broke up fights. |