Siblings at birthdays

[Anonymous]

This is our first friends (non family) birthday for our 4 year old boy. At a place that charges per child, we invited 12 friends from preschool, 7 of them are bringing an older sibling. This is almost doubling our cost, is this normal? Why are so many parents asking to bring siblings? If it’s at a home no big deal but outside it’s quite an extra cost and I don’t have the heart to say no. This is all new to me.

[Anonymous]

This is totally your fault for not saying no when people asked to bring siblings.

[Anonymous]

Next time, you write “no siblings please” on the invite.

Rookie mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is our first friends (non family) birthday for our 4 year old boy. At a place that charges per child, we invited 12 friends from preschool, 7 of them are bringing an older sibling. This is almost doubling our cost, is this normal? Why are so many parents asking to bring siblings? If it’s at a home no big deal but outside it’s quite an extra cost and I don’t have the heart to say no. This is all new to me.

This made me LOL. You must be new here.
At least now you'll know how to handle it next year.

[Anonymous]

Did you invite the Jones Family or Larla Jones?

[Anonymous]

Op here- so people really say no siblings and it doesn’t come across as rude? I haven’t ever encountered this. You just say no I’m sorry??

[Anonymous]

"Due to space restraints we are unable to accommodate siblings."

[Anonymous]

Oh goodness.

This is a controversial topic, but as other have said, the the best way to avoid it is to indicate "no siblings" on the invitation.

The sibling issue is a huge problem at the younger ages, when parents will not be dropping the kids off. Basically, weekend is family time, so families seem to do everything together. There are also single parents or families where one parent works on the weekend. Generally, a parent is not going to pay for a babysitter for siblings so that the parent can take another kid to a party. That's where the dreaded sibling request comes in.

So . . . you can either budget for siblings (if not a home party), indicate "no siblings" in the invitation, or politely decline if anyone asks (or pick our choose who can bring siblings). Depending on how many kids you invited, you might run the risk of having a small party if you exclude siblings.

In a perfect world, people would offer to pay if they ask to bring a sibling. I've never actually seen it, but would it be rude to put on an invitation "siblings welcome at ___ cost per person?" Does anyone do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here- so people really say no siblings and it doesn’t come across as rude? I haven’t ever encountered this. You just say no I’m sorry??

Yes. You just say no. It's not RUDE to say no. It's RUDE to get invited to something that costs the host money and to take it upon yourself to make it cost more by inviting other people along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Due to space restraints we are unable to accommodate siblings."

Send this out NOW to everyone. It's not rude. Also, for the next party say no siblings.

[Anonymous]

Yeah if it doesn’t say “no siblings” I assume siblings can come. Personally if there is going to be an extra expense I don’t want the host to have to pay for the sibling, but every time I have gone pay for them, the host steps in and says no, they will cover the cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah if it doesn’t say “no siblings” I assume siblings can come. Personally if there is going to be an extra expense I don’t want the host to have to pay for the sibling, but every time I have gone pay for them, the host steps in and says no, they will cover the cost.

This is what I did when my kids were younger and my husband wasn't available to uninvited siblings. For a party at a place totally open to the public, I would just take the siblings, pay for them myself, and then instruct them that I would get them food. The were not to come into the party room or eat the food provided at the party. More often than not, there was enough and the hosts offered, but they knew they would be in trouble if they asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah if it doesn’t say “no siblings” I assume siblings can come. Personally if there is going to be an extra expense I don’t want the host to have to pay for the sibling, but every time I have gone pay for them, the host steps in and says no, they will cover the cost.

Unfortunately, you are incorrect. Unless it says "siblings welcome" you should assume no siblings.
And of course hosts step up to pay; it's rude not to. Still, it places them in a bad position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah if it doesn’t say “no siblings” I assume siblings can come. Personally if there is going to be an extra expense I don’t want the host to have to pay for the sibling, but every time I have gone pay for them, the host steps in and says no, they will cover the cost.

You're wrong, and while the host is SAYING that, I assure you they are cursing you out in their heads and thinking what a cheap, tactless bitch you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here- so people really say no siblings and it doesn’t come across as rude? I haven’t ever encountered this. You just say no I’m sorry??

You either write on the invite sorry, no siblings or else when they ask you, you say: "I'm so sorry, but we won't be able to accommodate siblings."