My parents keep sending me boxes of my childhood crap.

[Anonymous]

I have a 7 yr old DD and a toddler DS. My parents (divorced) each separately keep sending (or bringing when visiting) old childhood stuff that I do not want, under the guise of giving these things to my daughter. Most recently it was a box of scrunchies and hair ties—truly things that should have been thrown away long long ago. DD opened it, made a confused face, and went back on about her day.

Do I encourage them to just toss anything they don’t want to keep around? I don’t think I ever said I wanted them to keep these things for me but in my 35 years on this planet who knows what I told them (or what they heard). Family has actually accused me of being unsentimental to the point it hurts feelings so I want to be respectful but I would love it if this stopped.

[Anonymous]

How much of a nuisance could this really be...seriously...take the high road and just throw them out yourself when you receive it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much of a nuisance could this really be...seriously...take the high road and just throw them out yourself when you receive it.

It’s really not a nuisance but cross country postage is not cheap!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 7 yr old DD and a toddler DS. My parents (divorced) each separately keep sending (or bringing when visiting) old childhood stuff that I do not want, under the guise of giving these things to my daughter. Most recently it was a box of scrunchies and hair ties—truly things that should have been thrown away long long ago. DD opened it, made a confused face, and went back on about her day.

Do I encourage them to just toss anything they don’t want to keep around? I don’t think I ever said I wanted them to keep these things for me but in my 35 years on this planet who knows what I told them (or what they heard). Family has actually accused me of being unsentimental to the point it hurts feelings so I want to be respectful but I would love it if this stopped.

Why do you need them to stop? Just say thank you and dispose of the items as you see fit. What is the problem here? You want your parents to do both the physical work of cleaning up your old childhood crap AND the emotional labor of deciding what to keep or throw away or whether you would want it?

[Anonymous]

Go to your parent's house and clear out your crap. If it should have been thrown away years ago, you are years late in expecting your parents to take care of your stuff.

[Anonymous]

Uhhh… It's your stuff, you are an adult. Why should your parents be storing this for you in the first place? They send it to you; you deal with it as you see fit.

[Anonymous]

The best way to handle it is to visit their houses and clear out all your stuff. Why does a grown woman have stuff at her parents' houses anyway and why do you think it's on them to clear out your junk?

[Anonymous]

Go clean out your stuff at each of their houses. Problem solved.

If they start muttering about you being unsentimental fall all over yourself saying, "I didn't realize my scrunchies from 6th grade meant that much to you. OF COURSE you should pick out your favorite before I donate the rest. Why don't I make a pile of everything I plan to donate and you can pick out anything YOU want to keep from that?"

But clean out your stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 7 yr old DD and a toddler DS. My parents (divorced) each separately keep sending (or bringing when visiting) old childhood stuff that I do not want, under the guise of giving these things to my daughter. Most recently it was a box of scrunchies and hair ties—truly things that should have been thrown away long long ago. DD opened it, made a confused face, and went back on about her day.

Do I encourage them to just toss anything they don’t want to keep around? I don’t think I ever said I wanted them to keep these things for me but in my 35 years on this planet who knows what I told them (or what they heard). Family has actually accused me of being unsentimental to the point it hurts feelings so I want to be respectful but I would love it if this stopped.

Why do you need them to stop? Just say thank you and dispose of the items as you see fit. What is the problem here? You want your parents to do both the physical work of cleaning up your old childhood crap AND the emotional labor of deciding what to keep or throw away or whether you would want it?

I don’t want ANY of it. There is no emotional labor component here. If it would help for me to say, I do not want these things, feel free to toss, I want to say it. But I am afraid, after years of being accused of being too unsentimental, it will be interpreted as cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best way to handle it is to visit their houses and clear out all your stuff. Why does a grown woman have stuff at her parents' houses anyway and why do you think it's on them to clear out your junk?

When I moved out after college I threw away everything I had stored there. These are things they apparently were storing themselves.

[Anonymous]

Throw it out after they ship it to you. No need to say anything to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Throw it out after they ship it to you. No need to say anything to them.

I wouldn’t even know where to look. It’s not like they’re maintaining a bedroom for me in their homes filled with my items.

[Anonymous]

Next time you visit them throw out what is left in their homes.
No need to make a big deal and you will be doing them a favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Throw it out after they ship it to you. No need to say anything to them.

I wouldn’t even know where to look. It’s not like they’re maintaining a bedroom for me in their homes filled with my items.

Oh sorry I thought you also meant, when I was there. Reading comprehension fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much of a nuisance could this really be...seriously...take the high road and just throw them out yourself when you receive it.

I love that OP just left all this junk with her parents, and them respectfully returning it is a “nuisance.” She’s not the one taking the high road here, whether she says something or not.

Do them a favor and THANK THEM for housing your crap, and let them know that you don’t want it back. Bonus points for offering to actually do the work of disposing of it when you next visit them.