Does your mother and/or do any aunts act like royalty?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I think my mother and aunts want to pretend we are a royal family and they are the matriarch queens. Anyone else have controlling matriarchs in the family. The hierarchy has been in place forever and they throw tissy fits when you cannot attend family functions or refuse to keep up appearances and admit things like "Larlo has ADHD" or "Larla will never get into an ivy league college. We just hope she goes to college." My mother was obsessed with England when she visited and she used to follow the royal family. I even have a sibling who used to obsessed with royalty and who acts like she is next in line to the throne to the point her daughters even comment on it. Those of us who refuse to play into the BS are treated like a bunch Meghan Markles. They even have their own royal press....they gossip among eachother and fill you in on what the other royals think of your choices. |
Anonymous
| Lol my mom puts on airs like this a lot. She thinks she has SO much more "class" than everyone else |
Anonymous
OP here. Yes, that's another thing. My mom is very into thinking of herself as quite "classy." She calls the part of the family that acts like this the "classy side." I told her my definition of class is different. I believe it's classy to treat everyone respectfully, avoid gossip, not be ashamed of disabilities and learning differences, and allow people free will. Apparently I have it all wrong. |
Anonymous
|
My mother's family has a title and estate. Our ancestor was ennobled more than a thousand years ago. They are practical, down to earth people, despite having had childhoods with nursemaids and governesses or tutors, and being taught all about etiquette and the finer distinctions of rank. I mean, my uncle rakes out his horses' manure himself. 
My mother does her own tidying up and ironing. They will talk to you like nice, normal people and you'd never guess their family background. And they have totally embraced my child with ADHD and learning disabilities. |
Anonymous
| Not my mother, but DH's mother acts like this. She acts like she's much better than the women in my family (including me), because she never had to work while the rest of us do. |
Anonymous
| My mother was one of four Italian sisters. The oldest aunt absolutely viewed herself as the leader, "Contessa" and alpha of the tribe. They knew her by name at Saks in the 80's, she had no children and basically shopped, gossiped and watched Days of Our Lives. I hear you Op. It can be a form of what we now commonly view as narcissism. I think it covers over a very deep insecurity. |
Anonymous
|
My DH's aunts have a cold war going on over who gets to be the "matriarch" - the oldest daughter hosts all holidays at her house (casually - people usually eat Thanksgiving dinner at their nuclear family houses and then convene there to hang out, it's always open for drop in on Christmas, she has an Easter Egg Hunt for all the little kids), and it drives one of her younger sisters INSANE. She considers herself to be a better event planner or higher class or something, and is always picking fights with the older sister.
The rest of us just kind of watch and stay out of it. Apparently their dad (DH's grandpa) publicly asked the oldest daughter to please always host holidays for the family so there would be a sense of cohesion and all the grandkids would grow up close to each other, so nobody is ever going to take the other sister's side on this (except her kids), but she's still mad and picks a fight every other year or so. |
Anonymous
|
My mother was absolutely like this, as was her mother. My grandmother's 13 siblings used to laugh and call her Queen Larla. They were poor immigrants from a British colony living at the turn of the century in a working class East Coast city. So, not a hint of royal anything. Still, Queen Larla sent my princess mother to a foofy boarding school in the hopes that she'd marry "up," which she did. Then that husband left my mom for his secretary and my mother spent the rest of her life trying to get back to that lifestyle. She never did make it but insisted everyone treat her as if she had - even when she was homeless. It's a desperately sad way to have spent your life.
As annoying as it is, OP, the thing you should feel is pity. |
Anonymous
They sound lovely and I think it is wonderful they totally embraced your child with ADHD and LD. Now THAT is CLASSY!! |
Anonymous
| OP here again. I am cracking up at the Contessa, cold war, Queen Larla and feeling superior because you never held a job. I hope I don't act like this as I get older. I want to be a down to earth and fun loving grandma! |
Anonymous
| My mom is like this. Her dad was high up in the civil service in her Asian home country and she acts completely entitled because of it. It’s baffling. My dad and her should be divorced but she doesn’t want to give up her lifestyle. She hasn’t worked in 30 years. |
Anonymous
I’d literally watch a sitcom featuring these ladies.
|
Anonymous
Me too and add 17:32's mom. It would be more fun than Real Housewives. It just needs a catchy name. |
Anonymous
|
My mother tries to act like the queen who should be waited on and catered to. I recall as a child MANY times where my mother would sit on the couch in the living room with her bare feet on it (illegal in our house, but I guess just illegal for the peasants), with an iced Coke with a straw that my brother or I brought her while he and I were dusting and vacuuming and how much PURE GLEE she had in her voice saying "You missed a spot." She wouldn't even tell me where - she'd make me re-dust the whole dam room.
Once we totally humiliated her. Her friend was over and our mom said that she'd been busy the prior week taking care of one of us because we'd been home sick. We laughed and said, "No you didn't!" and she said, "Didn't I make you jello?" and we said, "No, Daddy did before he went to work." so she said "Didn't I make sure you took your medicine on time?" and we said, "No, we had to wake you up to tell you the time and ask if we could take it and then go write down the time." And on and on. She always acted like she was SO BUSY running our household. But the truth is that she slept all morning, then made eggs and toast and brought the plate upstairs to EAT IN BED (also illegal for the peasants), then watch tv and nap, and she'd tell us to wake her up 15 minutes before our dad got home from work. When he'd get home she'd be sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee and vaguely imply she had been busy furiously making calls. Oh! She also always implied she spent all day on hold or trying to make appointments. Like we really believed she spent all day trying to make a haircut appointment or a vet appointment. Same with doctors appointments. My brother and I would spend five minutes on the phone, and it'd be done. When we'd point that out to her she would be like "I guess you just called at the perfect time" or "I guess you have better luck than I do." |
Anonymous
Ohh, this one is interesting. Anyone care to attempt to diagnose PP's mother? |