GW or Washington Hospital Center for lesbian parents?

[Anonymous]

We're trying to decide whether to use GW or Washington Hospital Center for the birth. I looked on the "Expectant Parents" forum, which had great information, but no one talks about how the hospitals treat gay and lesbian parents. Does anyone have experience with either of these two? Thank you!

[Anonymous]

I don't, but you can get some sense of it by the language used to describe their birthing experiences on both sites. ie "expectant mothers labor in individual labor rooms and may predesignate up to 5 people allowed to accompany them in the room. Typically, the expectant mother may choose her husband, one or two grandparents, a doula, blah blah blah" vs. "typically the expectant mother may choose her birth coach/partner, grandparents, doula blah blah blah." I am straight but found the language startling and different between several different hospitals when I gave birth.

[Anonymous]

We delivered at GTown, so I can't help much, but I was incredibly pleased with our care there. Nobody blinked, everyone called both of us mom... it was really wonderful. Best to you and your partner during such an exciting time!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you 8:27 for the well wishes--we are very excited! And 7:37, I checked and they actually both appear to be quite welcoming of different arrangements (although Washington Hospital Center allows midwives and GW only allows doulas).

Again, if anyone reading this actually did deliver at one of these hostpitals, I'd love to hear about it. On the surface, both seem very welcoming, but sometimes what's in a brochure doesn't bear out in reality.

[Anonymous]

from a gay parent who works in a hospital (delivered at HC), it is going to depend more on the caregivers you have (nurses/docs) than hospital policy. you won't have issues at either hospital with visitation, etc since the birthing mom can have anyone she pleases with her. But how you are treated, will vary greatly depending on the staff. My assumption would be that GW deals with far great #s of GLBT families than WHC just based on location/demographics.

[Anonymous]

We had a great experience with the caregiving staff at WHC (delivered with midwives from FHBC). One nurse had a lesbian daughter with fertility problems, so she kept asking us for advice. The delivery nurse was super sweet. We did have a problem with one of the administrative staff about the birth certificate (kids have a different last name than me, allowed by DC code but she kept digging in her heels thinking we were giving baby my partner's last name, which it wasn't and kept telling us we had to go to court. Anyway, we got a supervisor involved who handled everything and it was all fine). Also delivered at Gtown, everyone there was cool. From a practical standpoint, if you are not delivering with midwives, I'd pick GW over WHC. Unbeknownst to me, WHC delivers more babies than Gtown, Sibley and GW combined. It is crazy during "busy" months. I had to go for monitoring and they had people laboring in the waiting room. GW has all private rooms I think and from what I've seen visiting friends they are nice. If you want to go with midwives then go with WHC. The nurses are also very natural birth friendly. Congrats on the baby to be and good luck!

[Anonymous]

10:39 here - If you deliver at WHC with Whitney or the FHBC midwives, they will also encourage you to hire a doula, just so you know.

We loved the care we got at the FHBC, is delivering there with the midwives an option? They allowed birth in a tub, sadly I needed to be induced, so not an option. They are very close to WHC but have a very tiny transfer rate.

It is totally possible to have a natural childbirth at GW too (having a doula helps).

[Anonymous]

I would add that if you have a domestic partnership in DC, your name can be added to the birth certificate of your baby without any court hearing. This is not a legally biding document, but I did get a thrill when the certificate came back listing both of us as our baby's parents (which of course we are). This is a relatively recent new law passed, and you dont' have to be a DC resident, just go get the partnership agreement in DC and deliver in a DC hospital.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you everyone for your thoughts on this. It's going to be a hard call, and I continue to welcome further thoughts. And it sounds like we should consider Georgetown as well. Question for 10:48--what do you mean that the birth certificate is not a legally binding document? One of the main reasons we want to deliver in DC is that my partner can be an official and legal parent. I'm a lawyer, but not a family lawyer, and I had no idea birth certificates weren't binding. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

i had my baby at gw. staff was fine. no issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We delivered at GTown, so I can't help much, but I was incredibly pleased with our care there. Nobody blinked, everyone called both of us mom... it was really wonderful. Best to you and your partner during such an exciting time!

I delivered at GU too. My L&D nurse was a gay man...loved him!

[Anonymous]

We also birthed at WHC with FHBC Midwives ... We had a great experience there. We ended up having an emergency C and staying for 3 days in the hospital and the whole time the staff was very supportive and never questioned our family etc... They made us very comfortable the whole way through a pretty difficult birth.

[Anonymous]

10:39 We had the baby at WHC before the DP law changed, so only my name was on the birth certificate. Our kids have a name that is a combo of our names. In DC you can have the mother's name, the father's name or a "family" name. Any other name has to be done through the court. Since her bio sis had that name already, it counted as a "family" name. The psycho admin person thought that we were somehow trying to give the baby my partner's name, at that time, it could not go on the b.c. Hope that is more clear.

That was our last kid. I think but am not sure that you need to be registered domestic partenrs in DC to get both moms on the b.c. It is also recommended that you do a second parent adoption in DC or MD as a belt and suspenders approach since you may someday live in a place that does ot recognize the DC birth certificate but would recognize a court ordered adoption. Good luck and congrats on the baby to be!

[Anonymous]

None. OMG!

[Anonymous]

GW and the entire staff was wonderful. Partner stayed with us for 4 days in the room. She went with the baby after birth to get cleaned up and was given all the privileges of a spouse. GW rocks and this was 3 years ago.