Divorce in Maryland what should I expect

[Anonymous]

I just don’t see a future for us. There may have been cheating on his dude, I’m not sure. Situation

Two kids 17 and 15
Private school
College funded
Two houses - value around 7 million ( about 3 m left on mortgages)
I haven’t worked in 15 years when I did I made about 250k but my salary was based on relationships I don’t have anymore
Separate lives type situation
Retirement assets about 12 million
His Salary 3 million
No addictions or abuse
Art other assets about 1 m

[Anonymous]

Part not “dude” ?

[Anonymous]

Split everything in half. You likely won't get alimony or get it for very short so factor that in. He'll definitely be way better off than you.

[Anonymous]

That happened to a friend of mine. Marital assets were divided but pre-marital assets were retained. The kids now hate their mom for breaking up the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That happened to a friend of mine. Marital assets were divided but pre-marital assets were retained. The kids now hate their mom for breaking up the family.

We don’t have any premarital assets to speak of married 20 years. My kids have asked me if we are going to stay together and don’t seem upset if we don’t. Unfortunately neither is close to their dad. They are close to me. He’s tough to live with , controlling, not physically or emotionally accessible

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That happened to a friend of mine. Marital assets were divided but pre-marital assets were retained. The kids now hate their mom for breaking up the family.

We don’t have any premarital assets to speak of married 20 years. My kids have asked me if we are going to stay together and don’t seem upset if we don’t. Unfortunately neither is close to their dad. They are close to me. He’s tough to live with , controlling, not physically or emotionally accessible

LOL. It’s ALWAYS spouse’s fault. That’s nothing new. Your Dh will say the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That happened to a friend of mine. Marital assets were divided but pre-marital assets were retained. The kids now hate their mom for breaking up the family.

We don’t have any premarital assets to speak of married 20 years. My kids have asked me if we are going to stay together and don’t seem upset if we don’t. Unfortunately neither is close to their dad. They are close to me. He’s tough to live with , controlling, not physically or emotionally accessible

LOL. It’s ALWAYS spouse’s fault. That’s nothing new. Your Dh will say the same.

No it’s not his fault. And we are definitely friends. I just don’t see us together in the future. I’m pretty sure he might feel the same. Are there some resentments on both sides? Sure that’s just a 20 year marriage. Yes my perspective is he is those things mentioned he’d have his own issues with me I’m sure. He’s also a good person, smart etc I just don’t think we are happy enough to make it the next 20-30 years. The tell tale sign for me is is I’m happier when he is gone or traveling for work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That happened to a friend of mine. Marital assets were divided but pre-marital assets were retained. The kids now hate their mom for breaking up the family.

We don’t have any premarital assets to speak of married 20 years. My kids have asked me if we are going to stay together and don’t seem upset if we don’t. Unfortunately neither is close to their dad. They are close to me. He’s tough to live with , controlling, not physically or emotionally accessible

LOL. It’s ALWAYS spouse’s fault. That’s nothing new. Your Dh will say the same.

No it’s not his fault. And we are definitely friends. I just don’t see us together in the future. I’m pretty sure he might feel the same. Are there some resentments on both sides? Sure that’s just a 20 year marriage. Yes my perspective is he is those things mentioned he’d have his own issues with me I’m sure. He’s also a good person, smart etc I just don’t think we are happy enough to make it the next 20-30 years. The tell tale sign for me is is I’m happier when he is gone or traveling for work.

After 20 years, people change... and, sometimes, people get tired. What you wrote sounds like no worse than many marriages. Life is many ups and many downs... maybe your life is too comfortable, too predictable

[Anonymous]

Default is 50-50 custody but kids get a say at that age.
Min to no alimony
Child support to 18 or 22 depending on circumstances
Split marital assets
Split debt. Mortgage debt will go to. Whomever gets the property
Mediation is mandatory
You have to live apart for a year

Here’s the thing. Most people grow apart while they’re raising their kids. When the kids are grown you have to work at forming the next stage of your relationship.

Here’s the other thing. You might be ok now but your kids are leaving in two years and you will have no job and no kids. It’s hard to reinvent yourself at this stage of life. It’s not easy. Considering this will you still be happy when he’s gone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That happened to a friend of mine. Marital assets were divided but pre-marital assets were retained. The kids now hate their mom for breaking up the family.

We don’t have any premarital assets to speak of married 20 years. My kids have asked me if we are going to stay together and don’t seem upset if we don’t. Unfortunately neither is close to their dad. They are close to me. He’s tough to live with , controlling, not physically or emotionally accessible

LOL. It’s ALWAYS spouse’s fault. That’s nothing new. Your Dh will say the same.

No it’s not his fault. And we are definitely friends. I just don’t see us together in the future. I’m pretty sure he might feel the same. Are there some resentments on both sides? Sure that’s just a 20 year marriage. Yes my perspective is he is those things mentioned he’d have his own issues with me I’m sure. He’s also a good person, smart etc I just don’t think we are happy enough to make it the next 20-30 years. The tell tale sign for me is is I’m happier when he is gone or traveling for work.

After 20 years, people change... and, sometimes, people get tired. What you wrote sounds like no worse than many marriages. Life is many ups and many downs... maybe your life is too comfortable, too predictable

May be but also I think we’d be happier apart. I think he likely feels the same. I don’t consider that a bad reason to separate particularly if the kids are near out of the house.

[Anonymous]

I’m ok with him having a lot more financially and I’m certainly ok with him finding happiness with someone else. I’m a very independent person by nature. I’ve been dependent financially but that’s not why I stayed. Things have been neither good or terribly wrong for a long time. I just don’t think that’s how I want the next 30 years to be. I’ll be fine in a small condo. I will find work and I’m fortunate to be close to my kids and have many very good, close friendships.

[Anonymous]

Wait until your kids are out of college.

[Anonymous]

What exactly is your question.

I’d wait until college but that is me.

You have enough $ to divorce comfortably.

It’s not complicated. You get 1/2 of everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Default is 50-50 custody but kids get a say at that age.
Min to no alimony
Child support to 18 or 22 depending on circumstances
Split marital assets
Split debt. Mortgage debt will go to. Whomever gets the property
Mediation is mandatory
You have to live apart for a year

Here’s the thing. Most people grow apart while they’re raising their kids. When the kids are grown you have to work at forming the next stage of your relationship.

Here’s the other thing. You might be ok now but your kids are leaving in two years and you will have no job and no kids. It’s hard to reinvent yourself at this stage of life. It’s not easy. Considering this will you still be happy when he’s gone?

Hard but not impossible. Especially since there are substantial assets, I know quite a few women who divorced after long marriages and have happy, fulfilling lives. Not saying OP should get divorced but I hardly think she would be doomed to unhappiness. Plus, she can get a job! It doesn’t have to pay $250k to be fulfilling and plenty to live on.

[Anonymous]

She will get alimony and her share of the assets. He's pissed that the marriage didn't work out, he's had to to outsource passion, and he has to pay out his wife. She's pissed because she thought she was going to have a high earner and AND involved husband. Choices.