SAHM have you ever?

[Anonymous]

Have you ever been tempted to fabricate plans or volunteer work or even a part-time job to stop the users from their constant asking for favors? You know the type, who always have some urgent yet frequent last minute child care emergency they are convinced you can help them solve because you SAH, but then they disappear? I always turn them down until I’m blue in the face, but they are persistent and they push the issue. Thinking of saying I have a job now, so maybe they’ll stop asking?

[Anonymous]

No, I am ok just saying no repeatedly.

[Anonymous]

I really don’t know this type.

Maybe it’s because I was a WOHM prior to being a SAHM? I tend to see these as real emergencies rather than people trying to take advantage of me. In fact, I know a lot of two-physician couples, and I offer all of the time to be emergency back up care if their nanny is sick or some other emergency comes up.

[Anonymous]

No. I really haven't found people asking for favors to be a problem. I have no problems saying no either.

I did have one mom who was moving and dumped her kid on me, and asked me to pick him up and bring him home. I did it because my kid wanted to play with him. Her kid was so incredibly rude that he would never be allowed back if they'd stayed in the area.

I will do favors for my friends as long as it's not taking care of a sick kid.

[Anonymous]

WOHM and I have never once tried to get a SAHM friend to help in a childcare emergency. Who are you friends with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t know this type.

Maybe it’s because I was a WOHM prior to being a SAHM? I tend to see these as real emergencies rather than people trying to take advantage of me. In fact, I know a lot of two-physician couples, and I offer all of the time to be emergency back up care if their nanny is sick or some other emergency comes up.

No. It's a type. And you can tell who they are by the third request. You'd be shocked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WOHM and I have never once tried to get a SAHM friend to help in a childcare emergency. Who are you friends with?

Really? You've never done it, so no one every has?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I am ok just saying no repeatedly.

Which gets old fast.

[Anonymous]

I’m a SAHM and no one has ever done this to me. We carpool and we often are the takers of rides as I have a napping toddler.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t run into this but I have heard of it. I have no advice, but it sounds like a bummer.

Okay maybe I do have a bit of advice: if you lie, you might get caught, and it could be awkward. Just keep that in mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t know this type.

Maybe it’s because I was a WOHM prior to being a SAHM? I tend to see these as real emergencies rather than people trying to take advantage of me. In fact, I know a lot of two-physician couples, and I offer all of the time to be emergency back up care if their nanny is sick or some other emergency comes up.

No. It's a type. And you can tell who they are by the third request. You'd be shocked.

Agree, it’s a type. I have gotten better about identifying it early and cutting off requests. I’m happy to help friends but not users, and there is a big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WOHM and I have never once tried to get a SAHM friend to help in a childcare emergency. Who are you friends with?

+1

[Anonymous]

Just say no. What's the big deal? You are not even obligated to answer their texts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t know this type.

Maybe it’s because I was a WOHM prior to being a SAHM? I tend to see these as real emergencies rather than people trying to take advantage of me. In fact, I know a lot of two-physician couples, and I offer all of the time to be emergency back up care if their nanny is sick or some other emergency comes up.

No. It's a type. And you can tell who they are by the third request. You'd be shocked.

Agree, it’s a type. I have gotten better about identifying it early and cutting off requests. I’m happy to help friends but not users, and there is a big difference.

It’s totally a type. They like to throw the phrase “it takes a village!” around to make you feel like a real a-hole if you turn them down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOHM and I have never once tried to get a SAHM friend to help in a childcare emergency. Who are you friends with?

+1

They aren’t typically friends, just parents from school.

I posted not too long ago about my user. She pretended she really wanted to get to know me better, called me “her people”, invited me to get a coffee and really buttered me up, told me she really wanted to get closer. Then nothing until she called asking me a huge favor with her kid. I did the favor, realizing too late she’s a user. I haven’t heard from her since. I’m guessing the next time I do, it will be because she needs transportation again