Please help me decide

[Anonymous]

We have a great public school system here but I am still torn about sending my child. 700 kids in the elementary school, 1400 in middle, sol testing, that is the problem. We can afford private, it would have to be a Catholic school. I am so torn I stay up at night! Please send me your opinions.

[Anonymous]

What exactly are you torn about? The size of the school itself isn't really that relevant, the size of the classes might be. Sometimes larger schools also have more resources and more to offer. Are you Catholic? Do you want religious instruction? Which schools in NoVa would your child attend? What reasons would you have for going private?

[Anonymous]

op here. There are a few reasons I am torn. I think private/Catholic do not teach SOL. My child would stay with classmates k-8th grade instead of going to a large middle school which is basically a feeder school to the surrounding elementary schools. I do have fear of middle school. Seems that is where the kids tend to screw up. On the other side, I think I should put more trust in my child to do the right thing in middle school. Not every child does drugs or hangs out with looser and I do realize private schools have their share too. I think I am going overboard in my thoughts about this but it is overwhelming to me.

[Anonymous]

Have you visited the schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you visited the schools?

I did visit the public elementary school and catholic school. Both seem great. I do like the uniform of the Catholic school, but not to the point of a deal breaker the other way. People rave about the public school but the problem to me is not this level, it is the next..6th 7th and 8th grade. It scares me to no end.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. I totally understand where you are coming from. Our neighborhood elementary school is very nice ... small and nurturing community feel, nice enough facility, caring teachers, etc. It was middle school that really freaked me out ... I grew up in a small town with only 200 kids in my class. Middle school classes around here seem to be 600 plus in size ... intimidating to think about and I agree that those grades are just the most difficult for so many reasons, not the least ... puberty!!

My husband and I toured several private schools just to have a look around, and we were really blown away. We had initially thought we would wait until middle school to seriously consider private, but we decided that our child would have a tough time joining so late in the game. Not only would friendship groups be well established, but the kids would have years of foreign language and excellent academics already under their belts. I think FCPS are pretty good, but the SOL thing and class sizes and so forth convinces me that a good private really does offer a better education.

We decided to at least try private K and just see how it went and we were really pleased. We chose a pk - 8 school, so middle school is taken care of (hopefully.) We are very open to public high school as we think our child will be very well prepared to do well without so much help needed and hopefully having survived the middle school years. More than survived I hope!

Good luck with your decision ... it is hard to make given all the unknowns!

[Anonymous]

Op, I was in the same boat when we were deciding what to do about kindergarten for our oldest. We chose a private school and were pleased (mostly) with it but this year DS is out of the private school and in public. We couldn't be happier with this latest decision as our son has a great new group of friends, a great teacher, and has adjusted well, plus we no longer have the worry about paying tuition. The tuition at private school, especially for multiple children, became a huge drain on the family. Frankly, just like in public school, we had great years in private as well as years when the teacher didn't seem to really "get" or connect with our child. When you are shelling out so much money (a stretch for us as we are middle-class, not wealthy), every misstep or bad experience seems magnified -- not fair to the school, but true. Things change and I would definitely consider sending him to private for middle school if it seems like it will be a negative experience for him, but for now, I have learned that -- public or private -- there are no guarantees. It's all about knowing your child, having faith in your own ability to respond to whatever comes up, and recognizing that kids are resilient & don't need us to guarantee that they will be in the same school for 8+ years (though it would be nice!). It is hard when you are in the middle of the big decisions to really gain perspective -- after all, this is your baby! -- but do recognize that either way, it's not a done deal. If you are not happy with the choice or see that your child is not thriving, you can & will change the situation.

Something else to consider: with private school (depending on which one), you are choosing that your child's friends will be scattered over a much wider area than with your public school. It casts a wide net for birthday parties & playdates. With 3 kids, this became a logistical issue for us, one of our own making. It seems trivial but after schlepping all around the Beltway on weekends and after-school, it becomes a hassle.

Best of luck with your decision.

[Anonymous]

The amount of SOL teaching that is done varies from school to school. My daughter is in 3rd grade and they haven't even mentioned the SOL's to them or done any sort of practice yet. The teacher said that she is confident that the kids will do great and doesn't see the need to smother them with it all year long.
However, she has several friends in 3rd grade in a neighboring school and they have been sending home packets since the beginning of the year and everything they learn seems to be based entirely on what is on the SOLs...to the point of excluding important information because it is not "on the test."

In looking at public and private, it is also beneficial to visit your public school and speak with the principal and teachers to get a feel for what it's like.

[Anonymous]

We are making a very similar decision. I am freaked out by the large classes, and the idea of my son going to school at a not so great middle school. The schools seem so large and the idea that children do not continue with the same classmates is odd. Hope your decision becomes easier. Just wanted to let you know that there others out these with the same concerns.

[Anonymous]

The classes aren't THAT big. My DC is in second grade and the class is 24. I think the younger classes are even smaller. DD was in a private with 16 kids in the class last year and the year before and frankly, she seems to do better in a larger class. I do feel that the teacher doesn't know her as well and I don't know the teacher as well (but I wonder if I don't know the teacher because she takes the bus and last year I picked her up at school -- I also don't volunteer in the class because I'm working)