Is this a normal parent experience?

[Anonymous]

I have a two year old son, three in march. He is a normal to easy child and yet I find this so hard, hard enough I have no interest in a second. I have friends who LOVE the parenting thing and find that it has clicked for them. For me, I know mentally I am a good parent. I do all the art projects and I don’t yell and I have firm boundaries and I’m warm and he knows down to his core he’s deeply loved. But in any given hour with him I’m like “wow life would have have been totally fine with out a child.” While also then swinging wildly to “not a more special person has ever walked this planet then this boy.” On the surface I am so calm. Even my husband doesn’t know I have this strong opposition inside of me.

It feels like such a roller coaster, I don’t know if I need to go tell a therapist (probably) or this is like parenting 101 and no one told me.

[Anonymous]

Seems normal to me. I don't do any art projects. Also, 2 is not a super easy age. When they have complex thoughts, around 7, is when discussions get interesting.

[Anonymous]

I only felt like this with my child with special needs. The others were easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only felt like this with my child with special needs. The others were easy. [/quote

Or, perhaps, if you feel like this in other aspects of your life, you may have anxiety or thyroid problems or something else that causes mood swings.

[Anonymous]

I don’t judge you for this but since you asked, I have four kids ages 7, 4, 3, and infant and I’ve never felt like this. I’ve wanted a break, yes, but never like “oh I would be okay with ever having you”.

Not sure it’s clinical level (ie therapist) but just giving my personal experience.

[Anonymous]

No, I never think "life would have been totally fine" without my children. But I admire that you are so calm and that you do art projects!! I would say that I love parenting and love my children so much, but I have no patience for art projects and I yell a lot....

Also, how are you going through an experience that is "so hard" but haven't expressed this to your husband?

[Anonymous]

I often wonder if I married the right person. I sometimes want to get divorced.

However, I never regret my children. I always love them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I never think "life would have been totally fine" without my children. But I admire that you are so calm and that you do art projects!! I would say that I love parenting and love my children so much, but I have no patience for art projects and I yell a lot....

Also, how are you going through an experience that is "so hard" but haven't expressed this to your husband?

[Anonymous]

I am not the calmest or most patient person on the planet. I do spend a lot of time with my three kids and I get upset sometimes, but I have never thought I would like to not be a mom. There is no way I would be half as happy as I am now... though probably much more relaxed.
I am sure your experience is fine, but it’s not mine

[Anonymous]

I feel close to this. I really enjoy time at work and other times without my kids. But I do love them and can't imagine my life without the oldest. The baby is still pretty new and super chill but I know and remember what it was like woth just one and look at those days wistfully. I love her (the baby) but I'm just waiting for her to be a little bigger since I'm not a baby person and my dh wanted two kids much more than me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I never think "life would have been totally fine" without my children. But I admire that you are so calm and that you do art projects!! I would say that I love parenting and love my children so much, but I have no patience for art projects and I yell a lot....

Also, how are you going through an experience that is "so hard" but haven't expressed this to your husband?

NP. That sounds normal to me too. I love my kids. Sometimes it's hard and sometimes I yell. I rarely do art projects but I like them, like interacting with them.

[Anonymous]

Not normal. My kid is almost the same age as yours and I feel like being a mom is the best thing that ever happened to me. I love every minute and can’t imagine life without him. I don’t get what is so hard about parenting one kid at this age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a two year old son, three in march. He is a normal to easy child and yet I find this so hard, hard enough I have no interest in a second. I have friends who LOVE the parenting thing and find that it has clicked for them. For me, I know mentally I am a good parent. I do all the art projects and I don’t yell and I have firm boundaries and I’m warm and he knows down to his core he’s deeply loved. But in any given hour with him I’m like “wow life would have have been totally fine with out a child.” While also then swinging wildly to “not a more special person has ever walked this planet then this boy.” On the surface I am so calm. Even my husband doesn’t know I have this strong opposition inside of me.

It feels like such a roller coaster, I don’t know if I need to go tell a therapist (probably) or this is like parenting 101 and no one told me.

I have felt this way. Two year olds aren’t easy. My younger child is much less difficult and I don’t really have these “life would have been fine if I were not a parent,” thoughts while I am dealing with him.

You are allowed to have feelings, it’s doesn’t mean you need therapy or there’s anything wrong with you.

[Anonymous]

I feel this way and have never worried about it, and I have two (4 and 2). Not sure whether it’s relevant, but I was never one of those women who just ached for kids. Having a family was not a given for me. Now that I’m here I love them and I’m happy in my life overall but I could’ve been happy with lots of other lives as well.

What I find the most difficult is just the constant demand on my time and attention. I’m incredibly introverted and it’s just exhausting when they are young, even if they are “easy”. This is just a stage, though. Soon they will be tweens and teens and young adults and we can struggle with totally new emotional contradictions.

[Anonymous]

I feel the exact same way. Everyone on the outside would say I’m a great/perfect mom. On the inside, I’m thinking I would be fine if I had never been a mom.