Future carpool question

[Anonymous]

We are a family of 4, and we have a sedan & a mini suv. Both kids are currently preschool ages. I hear about carpool all the time for school age kids for pick up/drop off/after school activities/practices because it is timely effective & good for kids to social/maintain friendship. When do it mostly happen? Does it happen starting at early elementary school age? I am curious to know when should I need to buy a mini van (7 or 8 seats) in case we come cross this carpool situation for after school or weekend activities/practices? And, for parents that pick up/drop off kids for carpool, do you have to buy extra carseats for other kids? How do you end up in carpool because parents know each other or kids make the arrangement?

We are not from here, so we don't know the situation here. And, I want to promote kids' social development because I am a shy person.

[Anonymous]

We are a family of 4. We just got a mini van to replace our very aging small sedan. My kids are 3 and 5, and the older one is in kindergarten this year. The older one is just at the age where we are starting to maybe bring a friend with us places. So while we don't *need* the extra row just yet, it's nice to have.

I do think with 2 kids you will find having some type of 3rd row seating helpful at some point. It won't be until both kids are over the age of 5 or so that it may be the most useful for car pooling.

[Anonymous]

OP, I commend you for your foresight and willingness to assist in your kids' social development.

Let me state for the record that I am the opposite.

I have a sedan and was not willing to trade it out for a minivan. Thus, when we had a carpool situation, I could only take 1 child because I have two kids. It limited the families that we could carpool with. We did purchase extra car seats to accommodate other children. But we were also able to use those car seats in our second car or family/friends that would come visit. Point is, the extra car seats were helpful beyond just car pooling.

Now that my 2 kids are older, I can have one of my kids ride in the front seat and car pool with 2 friends in the back with my other kid. Out of the two families that we carpool with, only 1 has a minivan and interestingly enough, they have 1 kid.

The last thing that I will leave you with is that you should see who your kids become friends with and those are the families that you should approach for car pooling. If you car pool with families that your kids do not like, based on the criteria that each family would benefit from carpooling, it becomes a burdensome situation and defeats the purpose of helping your kids develop their social well being.

Blessings to you!

[Anonymous]

I would not buy a minivan or large SUV just for carpooling!

You have no idea what the future holds and if carpooling will even be logical under your circumstances. For example, if your child wants to take a dance class but every one else in the class lives in the opposite direction from the dance studio, you will not be carpooling.

Also, I've found that a lot of parents don't like to carpool unless necessary because they want to be there for their kids practices/lessons. When my young kids have played contact sports (like football) I felt it was important for me to be there.

[Anonymous]

You may find that since you bought the big car, you will do all the driving. Other families will conveniently not be able to reciprocate because their cars don't have room for extras.

[Anonymous]

Carpooling didn't come into play in my family until kids were old enough and able to be at an activity without me. I also had 2 kids close in age and owned ONE minivan. I probably kept it 6 years and went back to a sedan. I also have to add that my kids are now in their mid-late twenties so I never had to deal with the current car seat craze. My kids were out of their boosters at age 3 or 4.

[Anonymous]

you do NOT need a minivan for carpooling. depending on your comfort level, carpooling starts trickling in around K and is common by 2nd or 3rd grade. we keep extra boosters in the trunk. we both have 3rd row SUVs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Carpooling didn't come into play in my family until kids were old enough and able to be at an activity without me. I also had 2 kids close in age and owned ONE minivan. I probably kept it 6 years and went back to a sedan. I also have to add that my kids are now in their mid-late twenties so I never had to deal with the current car seat craze. My kids were out of their boosters at age 3 or 4.

Lots of 4-8 year olds have been injured or died in the last 20 years, safety has come a long way

OP we carpool in the summer but rarely during the school year. The people I am friends with and do activities with seem to want to watch and be with their kids for practices etc. Only time I do an organized carpool is in the summer and because some of the camps are far away ( more than 15 mins) so it makes sense.

[Anonymous]

I always heard the same thing, so when my second was born, I bought an suv with a 3rd row. We go to public school, and everyone lives close. If we have sports, one parent takes one kid and one takes the other. I very rarely use my third row, and I definitely don’t need a minivan. The carpooling thing just never materialized. Maybe it will soon? My oldest is in 3rd.

[Anonymous]

I carpool all the time and am thankful for my 3rd row SUV. I wouldn't buy a new car just because you MAY want to carpool sometime in the future, but a car with more seating is useful to have when your kids are older and you're taking their friends places with you.

[Anonymous]

I have several kids from toddler to high school and I have never carpooled with another family. No one has ever approached us and I’ve never asked anyone either. It might be because I have a lot of kids and so do the other families I know so everyone ends up taking their own kids. I do have an SUV with a third row so we have 8 seats, that is useful for taking a couple of their friends out when they’re having a sleepover or something but I’ve never carpooled.

[Anonymous]

I’m the OP of the thread about DH on call.

Our old neighbor had older kids and always said carpool was key to juggling their family. They were both lawyers and had one driving nanny. Their carpools seemed much more organized where parents had set schedules on carpooling multiple kids. They had a minivan.

I had just started carpooling before we moved. Ours weren’t so rigid. One parent would often drop kids off and other parent would drive kids home. If parents had work obligation or kid conflict, they may text a group of friends for a favor. Then kid may come with my kid to our house after school and I would drive them to baseball. Or our neighbor would just ask me if my kid wanted a ride since I had a newborn. Carpooling was often with kids’ friends and part excuse to hang out. Often kids would ask for play dates after activities and you bring friends home with you. In warm months, we may take kids to get ice cream and just drive kid home.

[Anonymous]

I have older kids and have basically never carpooled. I think it’s because we all live close to things? I’m willing but it just hasn’t been a thing for us. Occasionally I might take an extra kid along, but I usually have only one of my own in the car in those cases. I have never needed a van.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. We never got a minivan. I used to have a small SUV and had an extra booster in my car. DH got a 3 row SUV that eventually became my car.

[Anonymous]

I found that carpools with lots of kids never really happened. Kids are going and coming from many directions. Larla was with me at Larlo's soccer game before I needed to drop her at girl scouts. After that taking both kids to the dentist. Adding other kids would not work. I would not have bought a car for hypothetical carpools.