son is outgrowing nanny

[Anonymous]

How long did you keep your nanny? DH and I work out of the home. We have had the same live out nanny for 8+yrs. Son is currently in 5th grade and feels like he's too old for a nanny

She has been wonderful for my family. She drives, shops, cleans, runs errands and does laundry. DH works 4days/week so nanny only works 4 days but gets paid for 5. There are some weeks where I work late so nanny ends up working 3 days/week. Ive always been happy to pay her full salary but wondering when I should transition to son staying home alone. I know summers will be very difficult- keeping him in camps or such.

when did you let your nanny go?

[Anonymous]

You could call her a household manager. That might make your son feel better.

[Anonymous]

That's not really a nanny. If you let her go, you'll have to hire someone who drives, shops, cleans, runs errands and laundry or do it yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could call her a household manager. That might make your son feel better.

This

[Anonymous]

I’m a house manager / nanny. Kids are tweens. I’m more for my bosses and not the kids. The kids can get along fine without me. The parents not so much.

[Anonymous]

If paying her is not an issue I would keep her until at least 13. Doesn’t he need driving around after school? For sick days, snow days and the summer I think the peace of mind is worth it.

[Anonymous]

I would keep her OP. I remember saying the same thing to my parents, but when you have a two work outside the home parents, having someone who can help with driving to activities will be immensely helpful even through middle school and beyond. My parents just explained that yes, I won't need the type of supervision that I used to, but they still need someone to drive me to xyz practices before they get home from work and basically - they're the parent and have to make these decisions. Usually at middle school and above age it was someone after school and I forget what we called her, but I think we did change it to not be "nanny" exactly. But you've got a good thing going and likely your kids activities will increase and then you'll be figuring out how to get someone part time and that is rough. So if you can afford it and it helps your household run, I would keep her. Or alternatively you could switch to someone part time but you will probably need someone to help.

[Anonymous]

Until your son is old enough and willing to do the "drives, shops, cleans, runs errands and does laundry" tasks for the household, he doesn't get to tell you to get rid of the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could call her a household manager. That might make your son feel better.

This

A new title for the nanny might make your son feel more grown-up and continue to keep your household employee employed and your sanity intact because it sounds like you rely on her for your day to day household duties.

[Anonymous]

Depends on your child’s “lifestyle” and your need for coverage for school holidays and sick days.

My brother’s kids are 14 and 12 and still have the same nanny since birth. She now starts at 11 (brother drops kids off at school) and nanny does the all grocery shopping, kids errands, kids laundry and linens. She prepares from-scratch meals for the kids. She picks both kids up at school and shuttles them to lessons, sports practice and tutor (that’s what I mean by kids lifestyle - my niece and nephew are fantastic athletes and both play piano. 12 yr old needs a math tutor). Nanny stays until about seven and is always available for sick days and school holidays.

The continuity in the kids lives has been great, too.

[Anonymous]

It really does sound as though the nanny is really there for your benefit and not your son's. Change her title and tell your son she's really there for you and your husband and not for him. It sounds like most of what she does is for your benefit, not his. Yes, she may have to drive him around but that is what a house manager does.

FWIW we had nannies until our youngest was nine but that was only because we had relocated twice in two years and I decided to become a SAHM for a few years. If I had continued working we would likely have had a nanny until our oldest could drive and the youngest was in MS at least.

[Anonymous]

We had a wonderful nanny for almost 20 years as she evolved from being a kids nanny to basically managing our lives. She just made our lives so much easier as we both had full time jobs. She eventually decided to move to live with her daughter in a much warmer climate and she's been fulfilling the same roll. Before she left she even found people to replace parts of her duties. I do miss her! If she's great and you can afford her don't lose her!

[Anonymous]

Yeah, just give her a promotion. She makes your lives easier. End of discussion.

[Anonymous]

It must be amazing to be this rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It must be amazing to be this rich.

Agree sounds heavenly.