If your kids have to share a room- how do you make it work?

[Anonymous]

I have two kids and recently got pregnant with my third. We only have three bedrooms and probably can’t afford to upgrade or renovate to add a fourth. Our house is in a good school district and we love our neighborhood so very reluctant to move.

Right now the older two share a bedroom and it works out fine, but wondering what it will take to make it work long term. If your kids share a bedroom as tweens or teens, how do you make it work?

[Anonymous]

Our kids have their own rooms, but i had to share as a child.
Age differences and genders?
I hated sharing a room with my 6 year younger than me sister.
One thing my parents did was every year we each got our own room. So it rotated through until i was 15 and had my own room until i left for college.
For the ones sharing, we had times we could have it to ourselves. I got Saturday from 9-11. NO SIBLINGS ALLOWED. It was great. I could play my music, set up my barbie houses and camp ground
My parents also taught us to respect other people things. We were not to touch our siblings toys/items.

They played around with all 3 of us sharing a room for just sleeepign and then the other room for a playroom but never went through with it. I am glad.

[Anonymous]

My DS's best friend shares a room - both boys are teens. Honestly it was never a big deal because that's always the way it has been for them. My DS sleeps over and sleeps on their floor or they move to the den. I wouldn't make big deal about it and neither will they. One is about to go off to college next year and the younger will get his own room for the first time ever. I never ever hear them talk about it though.

[Anonymous]

How far apart are your kids?

Mine started having trouble sharing a room when the older child was five, and the younger one was about 1.5. It was the diapers. My oldest had been out of them for a while, and he hated having them in his room.

We ended up moving for other reasons, and they each have their own room now. Now, the oldest is 11, and the younger one is seven, and they sleep in each other’s rooms every night. I wonder if the whole issue would just have been short lived.

[Anonymous]

I think most kids that share don’t think twice about it, and I love the idea of having designated time alone once they want that. I think the harder part would be to keep it tidy, so as they grow, invest in good closet storage and bin systems with labels or pictures of what goes where. The bigger kid can have a top closet rack for clothes and the younger one a lower rack. If they grow up learning to respect each other and each other’s things, it should be okay.

[Anonymous]

My 2 sons share a bedroom. They are 13 and 9. It is how life is. They need to figure it out. We do step in to help them negotiate when they need help and things are clearly tipped to the older one.
One thing we did was establish a technology / homework space outside of the bedroom so that this is removed from their discussions as something they needed to figure out.

[Anonymous]

My boys are 8 and 10 and have shared a room since the youngest was born. The oldest is finally making real noise about having his own room (we do have a spare room).

[Anonymous]

I shared a room with my younger sister (2 years younger) from toddler age to age 15. My parents did a good job of letting us have our own "corners" that we were able to personalize and make our own so that sharing didn't squeeze out our individual likes/styles. When we finally upgraded homes and had our own rooms, we missed each other so much that we'd sneak across the hall and hang out in each others rooms all the time. It really solidified our bond as sisters. As a result, my young sons share a room, even though we have the space for them to each have their own rooms. I'm hoping it might help them create that tight bond that I have with my sister.

[Anonymous]

We have 3 kids and a three bedroom house. My 8 year old twins share a room and they will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. It is not an issue at all. They have bunk beds and each one has his own space. I'm not worried about it at all.

[Anonymous]

My 9 and 6 year old share a room and always have. I think it will almost be harder to convince them to get their own rooms. Caveats... it's always been a fairly large room that they share (like, 18 feet by 18 feet). And as one PP said, they also have a separate homework/living area in the house. So, when one is working or playing, the other can be doing something else in the other room if desired. But usually they want to spend as much time as possible together. I actually wish they exhibited more independence but I may regret that wish in a few years...

[Anonymous]

Sons share a room. They are 4 years apart. Sometimes they squabble but it is what it is. We don't do anything to "make" it work. We just haven't given them any other option. Older one is going to college soon. When they were little they absolutely didn't want to sleep by themselves Now I think they'd be fine with having their own but they haven't demanded it.

Also I have to admit it's not like they spend that much time in their rooms. They tend to hang out in our first floor spaces, the living room, dining room, kitchen, den. Maybe when you have a smaller house that is what happens.

I shared a room my entire childhood and remember not wanting a room of my own when I went off to college. Of course that notion changed soon after I experienced having a room to myself, lol.

[Anonymous]

Give the two oldest or by gender the biggest room, you take the middle room and other child get the small room.

[Anonymous]

Make sure they have other spaces to spend time. My family had 6 kids, so we all shared rooms. We also had a den and a loft for play/storage space to get away. We didn't play in our rooms much and spent a lot of time out of the house. In elementary, I spent most days across the street at my neighbor's house playing, in middle school and high school we had sports and jobs to keep us out of each others' way. We usually only crossed paths to sleep or at bedtime. It teaches good lessons about sharing space that they will need with roommates in college or later.

[Anonymous]

The biggest thing is to teach your kids how to give and show respect for each others wants/needs/space.
Just because Joey's ballglove is in the room doesn't make it Sam's. Just because Sam has his cars out doesn't mean Joey can kick them around the room.
Teach each kid to pick up for themselves but also that is someone is working on a project or has set something up, to leave it be and not touch it. You don't want them to feel violated in their own space.
Allow each time alone if they need and understand and teach them that fair isn't always equal. Maybe Joey gets more dresser drawers because his clothing is larger. Maybe Sam has a bean bag chair because it can lift it and carry out to the den to watch shows.

Don't be that parent who doesn't listen when you kid says they need space from the other. It is healthy to NOT want to be with someone 24/7. Respect that or risk it negatively affecting their relationship.

[Anonymous]

We just moved our 2 older kids together (3 and 4.5 years old). We have a 4 bedroom house but one of the bedrooms is super small. We are using this as a nursery right now for baby #3 who is coming shortly. The other room is used as a office/guest room when we have guests. The kids who share a room have the biggest room in the house (after the master) and we have bunk beds in there. Older DD sleeps on the top and younger DD sleeps on the bottom. Sometimes they sleep together on the bottom. So far they have loved sharing the room and it has actually helped them play better together. We shall see how long it lasts.