If DD has a passion for ballet but not trying to be professional, when to pull the plug?

[Anonymous]

DD takes ballet and absolutely loves it. However, there is no question of her trying to become a professional or anything like that, and she herself does not want to. But she loves her classes and is constantly twirling and leaping around the house, choreographing little routines, and so on. But as the level increases, the time commitment increases. Next year classes will be 4 days a week. In conjunction with other extracurriculars, especially her instrument which she plays at an advanced level, that time commitment is really significant. But, like I said, she loves it!

For those with ballet dancers who quit ballet, at what age/level did your DC stop dancing? And why?
For those with ballet dancers who are at the 4- and 5-day a week level, what's the end game? When do you think your DC will stop ballet classes? What other things have given way to enable the devotion of that much time?

[Anonymous]

There are parents who would pay a lot of money to keep their kids out of trouble and in good physical shape. I am such a parent and have DD in gymnastics 4 days a week. dad will NEVER go pro in gymnastics (in early elementary she’s almost as tall has Biles). I do hope this is leading to another serious sport but for now things are great.

Having an activity that requires/teaches work and dedication is its own reward.

[Anonymous]

Can she move to adult drop in classes? She can still dance but not as committed? I know a kid doing drop in classes at Joy of Motion - often 3 days or more a week, but flexible so they can go when it works with the schedule?

I have 2 high school kids -- they were getting to that level in their sports/activities - they have managed to do it still, even while not doing it at such a level.

[Anonymous]

I agree with pp who says - it keeps her healthy and out of shape. I’d let her do it as long as she wants. The only thing I would manage is her overall schedule. If she wants ballet 4-5 days a week, she would have to drop everything else. It’s something she has to choose over everything else.

We are doing the same with soccer. Our goal isn’t college, just staying healthy and on a team sport, but they had to give up everything else, which both kids chose to do.

[Anonymous]

If she were playing a sport in high school they would have daily practice plus travel games. 4 days a week isn’t obscene for a hobby activity. If she likes it, you can afford it, and it isn’t disrupting other family members to get her to classes, then I’d let it continue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with pp who says - it keeps her healthy and out of shape. I’d let her do it as long as she wants. The only thing I would manage is her overall schedule. If she wants ballet 4-5 days a week, she would have to drop everything else. It’s something she has to choose over everything else.

We are doing the same with soccer. Our goal isn’t college, just staying healthy and on a team sport, but they had to give up everything else, which both kids chose to do.

*out of trouble. Not out of shape.

[Anonymous]

FWIW my sister danced through freshman year of high school, then dropped because it interfered with other extracurriculars she wanted to do, and also because her feet were trashed. (Our mom would have preferred she keep dancing and it was a source of conflict.). She was good but there was never any expectation of making it a career.

She and I had classmates who actually were going pro, who dropped out of regular school and used a tutor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she were playing a sport in high school they would have daily practice plus travel games. 4 days a week isn’t obscene for a hobby activity. If she likes it, you can afford it, and it isn’t disrupting other family members to get her to classes, then I’d let it continue.

Absolutely. Be glad that she has this passion, and don't try to thwart it.

[Anonymous]

How old is she?

I have a 17 y.o. DD who started playing basketball when she was 3. At 15 she decided she wanted to quit and take up dance. (apparently this is an age where kids 'try out' other identities etc)

She ended up in ballet and contemporary. She's very good (she's an athlete so the skills transfer) but needed privates to learn the basics.

She takes dance classes about 3-4 days a week or even more. As a PP said, it keeps her out of trouble. It also keeps her happy--she's ALWAYS happy when she comes back from dance.

The place where she takes lessons is not competitive. She has one performance a year (and the first year she skipped the performance).

It's been a godsend, OP, for her to not have to do dance through school and worry about her grade, etc. If she has a test in school, she may not go to dance the night before. It's all so easy. If your DD loves dance, then keep her going, OP. There are benefits that aren't so obvious.

[Anonymous]

Let her take classes and maybe see if she can be an assistant teacher for little ones.

[Anonymous]

DD did it through HS. She loved it. Thought she would take dance classes in colleges an elective, but didn't. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

Let her do how much she wants to do. If she is happy with 4 days a week and can balance it with other things, I see no reason to drop it.

[Anonymous]

I danced 6 days a week in HS but knew pro was never an option. I danced 4-5 days a week in college and met my best friends that way. I danced 1-2 days a week in law school and now dance once a week as a mom to three kids who just turned 36.

It was my main EC but not my only. I was also in the marching band, too private lessons most of the time on my instrument, worked, etc.

It’s an end unto itself! And I hope I never have to stop.

[Anonymous]

PP here. When she applies to college, look for places with a minor but no major. Where there is a major, usually only the majors can take the best classes, get the best parts, etc. And it is nearly impossible to double major in dance and something totally unrelated.

I went to Bucknell, which has a strong minor but also great academics, so that I could do what I loved while also setting myself up for future career success. Strongly recommend she take a look when the time comes!

[Anonymous]

I and most of my dance friends did 10-15 hours of class/rehearsals/performances/competitions weekly all the way through high school without any intention of ever going pro. We learned the value of hard work and commitment to a craft, it was fun and good exercise, and it looked great on our college applications.