Dating someone not in the country legally

[Anonymous]

Would you think that citizenship was a factor in their attraction to you?

[Anonymous]

Of course.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I ask because I was surprised when a guy admitted his status so nonchalantly.

[Anonymous]

Since marriage doesn’t actually resolve their immigration status I wouldn’t personally worry about them using me. But I would worry about our future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since marriage doesn’t actually resolve their immigration status I wouldn’t personally worry about them using me. But I would worry about our future.

It can. And it can destroy you financially if you are part of getting someone permanent status and they later divorce you.

Other than that, I keep people out of my life who casually violate the law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since marriage doesn’t actually resolve their immigration status I wouldn’t personally worry about them using me. But I would worry about our future.

It can. And it can destroy you financially if you are part of getting someone permanent status and they later divorce you.

Other than that, I keep people out of my life who casually violate the law.

It really can’t if they’re already here illegally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I ask because I was surprised when a guy admitted his status so nonchalantly.

Maybe he was trying to be honest with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I ask because I was surprised when a guy admitted his status so nonchalantly.

Maybe he was trying to be honest with you.

Or because there are no repercussions at this point.

[Anonymous]

This is one of those things you just can’t fully know. Like “does age like me for my money/fame for for myself?” Look for the same things - does he genuinely care about you, is he a kind, responsible person; does he look to others to solve problems for him or try to solve them himself.

But depending on how and when he entered the country, it can cause real problems for you if you get serious/have children. A marriage won’t necessarily mean he gets to stay and can legalize his status. You might have to live abroad for 10 years before he could re-enter the US legally. If you are thinking about getting serious you might want to talk to an immigration lawyer.

[Anonymous]

I would not care. Would you date somebody who was arrested for stealing a loaf of bread to eat?

Driving aggressively would bother me way more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is one of those things you just can’t fully know. Like “does age like me for my money/fame for for myself?” Look for the same things - does he genuinely care about you, is he a kind, responsible person; does he look to others to solve problems for him or try to solve them himself.

But depending on how and when he entered the country, it can cause real problems for you if you get serious/have children. A marriage won’t necessarily mean he gets to stay and can legalize his status. You might have to live abroad for 10 years before he could re-enter the US legally. If you are thinking about getting serious you might want to talk to an immigration lawyer.

OP, his status would have professional ramifications for me. I was just so surprised at thr honesty.

[Anonymous]

^his

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is one of those things you just can’t fully know. Like “does age like me for my money/fame for for myself?” Look for the same things - does he genuinely care about you, is he a kind, responsible person; does he look to others to solve problems for him or try to solve them himself.

But depending on how and when he entered the country, it can cause real problems for you if you get serious/have children. A marriage won’t necessarily mean he gets to stay and can legalize his status. You might have to live abroad for 10 years before he could re-enter the US legally. If you are thinking about getting serious you might want to talk to an immigration lawyer.

OP, his status would have professional ramifications for me. I was just so surprised at thr honesty.

It’s like someone saying they had to speed to meet you. If no one cares about the law being broken, why hide it.

[Anonymous]

I've been illegal not only once but twice and for years. Some might get picked up the day they become illegal, some might not. Some might have to wait to be able to get married, some might not. Some are able to work, some are not.
Where is he from? If he told you right away he just doesn't care to hide it. I personally know ca 50 people here illegally. Normal for me, so need to announce it.
He might be waiting for the next amnesty or save up money to move away. Is he a dreamer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since marriage doesn’t actually resolve their immigration status I wouldn’t personally worry about them using me. But I would worry about our future.

It can. And it can destroy you financially if you are part of getting someone permanent status and they later divorce you.

Other than that, I keep people out of my life who casually violate the law.

It really can’t if they’re already here illegally.

If she sponsors him as a permanent resident, then any government benefits he subsequently files for she can be on the hook for.