Road rage around my kid

[Anonymous]

This morning I lost my cool in the car taking my kids to daycare because I was waiting to turn left (with my turn signal on) and a car passed me on the LEFT as I started to make the turn. Could have cause a major wreck and it scared the sh-t out of me. I honked my horn and of course started swearing on reflex. DD was like "mommy it's ok! the honking hurts my ears!"

Although I should know better, this is not the first time I have done this. Aside from channeling my inner Daniel Tiger, taking a deep breath, and counting to four, what strategies do other quick-to-swear parents use to channel their inner zen?

[Anonymous]

It happens when I get scared too. And if I’m generally in an anxious place in my life. Daily meditation helps.

[Anonymous]

I have been in a similar situation more than once. I have curbed the swearing but I still use my horn. Op, you are not alone.

[Anonymous]

As much as I think that I'm curbing this behavior, a little bit must sneak through because now my 4 year old in the back seat is saying, "COME ON, blue car! The light is green! Find the pedal and go."

I think this may be one of those things that just happens from being in the car over time. Just try to model as much nice behavior as possible and don't curse / gesture.

[Anonymous]

It's OK to show your kid that you have bad moments/"tantrums" at times too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As much as I think that I'm curbing this behavior, a little bit must sneak through because now my 4 year old in the back seat is saying, "COME ON, blue car! The light is green! Find the pedal and go."

I think this may be one of those things that just happens from being in the car over time. Just try to model as much nice behavior as possible and don't curse / gesture.

LMAO!

[Anonymous]

It happens. I'll never forget my 3 year old repeating "fing dumbass" after a guy almost hit me when he cut me off. Honestly, I have no problem with that type of road rage when you're reacting out of fear. When DS asks why I honked or threw up my hands or muttered "idiot" I tell him what that person was doing wrong. I don't consider that road rage.

[Anonymous]

Oh lord OP. All you did was honk & curse at the driver! Your child will be ok hearing you react angrily, lol. However, the dangerous drivers put us all at risk, they deserved that honk.

[Anonymous]

You’re a human being- it’s a very healthy response to feel and express anger and fear when someone endangers the life of you and your kids. It’s probably good for him to see you really get pissed and start cursing now and then, so long as it’s not towards him or about something meaningless. To me, this is not just normal but a healthy and appropriate response.

[Anonymous]

It’s fine to get upset at a scary car situation but you need to adopt a defensive mindset and let go of your justice mindset. You want to use your horn to alert other drivers before an incident but not to “punish” or “yell at” anyone. Not because they don’t deserve it, but because it’s futile and it upsets your kid.

[Anonymous]

You are not alone. So scary when things like that happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re a human being- it’s a very healthy response to feel and express anger and fear when someone endangers the life of you and your kids. It’s probably good for him to see you really get pissed and start cursing now and then, so long as it’s not towards him or about something meaningless. To me, this is not just normal but a healthy and appropriate response.

I agree. We are in this cultural moment when mommies must always be calm no matter what or we are damaging our kids. How is it healthy for kids to have a parent who only demonstrates one emotional register? It is perfectly appropriate to feel angry or sad sometimes and let those feelings show. I think in 20 years we will look back on this time and think we were all really misguided. Showing a normal range of emotions is not the same as shaming or screaming at your child.

[Anonymous]

Mine loves when I honk. "Good mommy - honk loud!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re a human being- it’s a very healthy response to feel and express anger and fear when someone endangers the life of you and your kids. It’s probably good for him to see you really get pissed and start cursing now and then, so long as it’s not towards him or about something meaningless. To me, this is not just normal but a healthy and appropriate response.

I agree. We are in this cultural moment when mommies must always be calm no matter what or we are damaging our kids. How is it healthy for kids to have a parent who only demonstrates one emotional register? It is perfectly appropriate to feel angry or sad sometimes and let those feelings show. I think in 20 years we will look back on this time and think we were all really misguided. Showing a normal range of emotions is not the same as shaming or screaming at your child.

Agree. It was a big mistake on the part of the other driver. Op’s reaction was totally appropriate. And hopefully op’s kid will never pass a left-turning car on the left side!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s fine to get upset at a scary car situation but you need to adopt a defensive mindset and let go of your justice mindset. You want to use your horn to alert other drivers before an incident but not to “punish” or “yell at” anyone. Not because they don’t deserve it, but because it’s futile and it upsets your kid.

This is the approach I’ve taken. It’s hard to just let things go especially when another car does something dangerous or stupid, but I think it’s better for my peace of mind and for my kids. They catch me muttering to myself and I explain that that car shouldn’t have done this or that but that we are safe in our car and mommy has thing under control. Including my emotions.