Coach's behavior question.

[Anonymous]

Kid was on the bench with two other players the other day at futsal and the coach was yelling out commands to the team during a heated part of the game. In one instance he screamed "Pass to the wing! Pass to the wing!" but then sat down and said to the kids on the bench, "oh, it was so and so on the wing--good thing they didn't pass to them". The two other kids laughed with the coach but my kid was kind of aghast. Came to me after the game and saying "that didn't seem right to say that" about another kid. It didn't seem right to me either that a coach would engage in that teen level of banter with the players and thought it set a really bad example.

Question: would you mention this to so and so's parents? I know they've had issues with the coach and suspect if I mentioned it they would go ballistic. However, it would pretty quickly get back to the coach my kid was the one who said something, and this coach is not beyond petty repercussions.

[Anonymous]

No, do not say anything to them. Why would you put yourself in the middle of that drama?

[Anonymous]

It could be that so and so plays goalie all spring and fall and so isn't really a field player. Or maybe so and so is coming off an injury. It's possible he wasn't insulting the kid.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe how much everyone wants to micromanage everything.

No, say nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It could be that so and so plays goalie all spring and fall and so isn't really a field player. Or maybe so and so is coming off an injury. It's possible he wasn't insulting the kid.

No, the kid was actually in their preferred position.

[Anonymous]

Either the coach continually spews negative things like this in which case maybe talk to him, or if this is a one-off it is just one of those things that everyone will have to get over. I played soccer for 20 years and if you couldn't take a little ribbing, you wouldn't make the cut. Unless the kids are like 6 years old or this one kid is continually bullied, it's normal. They have to toughen up.

[Anonymous]

Bethesda soccer nine-year-olds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either the coach continually spews negative things like this in which case maybe talk to him, or if this is a one-off it is just one of those things that everyone will have to get over. I played soccer for 20 years and if you couldn't take a little ribbing, you wouldn't make the cut. Unless the kids are like 6 years old or this one kid is continually bullied, it's normal. They have to toughen up.

I agree that kids are going to get this over their career and should just deal from time to time, but the fact it wasn't said directly to the kid but behind their back and for the benefit of mocking them before other players seemed a bit over the line. The kid in question isn't going to be motivated to do better by this, it's not constructive criticism. It's just a mean statement by an adult that should know better. Kids learn from this, sometimes negatively.

[Anonymous]

I would not mention it to them, and no, it was not right to say.

[Anonymous]

Sounds familiar. My guess is that it was the coach with the same first name as the 70’s Disney movie field goal kicking donkey.

[Anonymous]

Who cares. Waste of a thread

[Anonymous]

Of course you don't talk to the family. Why in the world?

Personally, I might talk to the coach, though. I would not want my kids coach setting that kind of example.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, do not say anything to them. Why would you put yourself in the middle of that drama?

Unless you enjoy drama?

[Anonymous]

Nope. Praise your kid for recognizing that is a cruel thing to say and move on. Consider a different coach for your kid if this is a situation where you have some choices in the matter.