Should I tell sister how to spend inheritance?

[Anonymous]

My mother left my sister and I an inheritance of about $50,000 each. I am the older, much more responsible sibling. Before her passing, my mother told me that she hoped my sister would spend her inheritance to pay down her high-interest car and consumer debt. I asked my mom to tell this to my sister herself, but my mom was kind of conflict avoidant and didn’t want to discuss this with my sister.

I told my sister about a month ago that my mom wanted my sister to spend the inheritance money to pay down debt. I told her I was only going to say it once and wasn’t going to follow up on it.

Based on social media posts, it appears that my sister is using the money to buy new furniture.

I shouldn’t say anything, right? It sucks because my sister is in a bad place financially (minimum wage job, no prospects for advancement) and getting rid of her debt would be a big relief. But she is not financially savvy at all and is impulsive. No one in my family has taken the time to explain finances to her.

What do you think I should do, if anything?

[Anonymous]

Do nothing. You shared your mom’s wishes, so your role here is done.

[Anonymous]

Her bad decisions are her own -- not a result of, "No one in my family has taken the time to explain finances to her."

Stop feeling responsible for your sister (in time she may do better on her own. She may do better if this isn't *a thing* that's a mentioned difference between you)

[Anonymous]

No. If it was really important to your Mom she could have explained finances to her, or could have done the inheritance differently.

[Anonymous]

I would absolutely be pushing her to make better decisions. When she’s broke, who will she be asking for money? You!

[Anonymous]

Sure, if you never want her to speak to you again. Her money, her choice.

[Anonymous]

I would try to talk to her. Ask her if she’d like your help either with investing for her future or getting out of debt. Does she have a history of coming to you for money at all?

[Anonymous]

That’s a lot to spend on furniture. Could she be using part of it for furniture and part for paying down loans?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely be pushing her to make better decisions. When she’s broke, who will she be asking for money? You!

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

It’s too bad your mom didn’t put it in a trust and name you the conservator. Nothing you can do now.

You can’t execute a responsibility without the power to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely be pushing her to make better decisions. When she’s broke, who will she be asking for money? You!

Agreed.

You don’t know that, and until it happens, OP has no standing to say anything more.

[Anonymous]

How old is your sister?

[Anonymous]

I would say nothing.

[Anonymous]

MYOB. You sound just like my older siblings who give me unsolicited advice. Telling her your thoughts once is is more than enough.

Unless she has ever given any indication that she will rely on you or her choices directly affect you, then step off. Leave he be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your sister?

OP here - she is 32. To the other poster who asked if she may be spending some of the money on her debt, I feel like I can't know that without asking her, and I'm wondering if even asking would be over-stepping? Given her history though, I'm nearly 100% she has not yet spent any on the debt. Probably plans to, but will spend the money on other stuff in the meantime and then it will all be gone.