S/O 3 kids with big age gap

[Anonymous]

We are expecting our 3rd soon and the other thread about the 3 kids and big age gap makes me nervous! Our kids will be just turned 5, 3 and newborn. Will that age gap be easier? My first two are 19 months apart and were/amazing sleepers but we got them on a good solid sleep schedule early. I am worried this new baby won’t be able to get on a good sleep schedule and will just be carted around everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Yes the baby will get carted around everywhere. He or she will learn to sleep when they can. It will be fine. Is your second a boy or a girl? I think that’s what I’d be most worried about. If a girl, then she will probably be helpful. Of a boy, then he probably won’t be thrilled with a replacement.

[Anonymous]

Op here - first two are girls. Third will be a boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are expecting our 3rd soon and the other thread about the 3 kids and big age gap makes me nervous! Our kids will be just turned 5, 3 and newborn. Will that age gap be easier? My first two are 19 months apart and were/amazing sleepers but we got them on a good solid sleep schedule early. I am worried this new baby won’t be able to get on a good sleep schedule and will just be carted around everywhere.

We have a very similar age gap (26 months, then 35 months). In general, the youngest is easier. My guess is that it's mostly personality, but also because we were more relaxed parents - in part because we were less anxious, in part because we had less time.

However, all three were terrible sleepers and remained so into elementary school, but I blame that mostly on our completely inconsistent approach to sleep training.

[Anonymous]

I'll say here what I said there. Get an afternoon nanny. They can stay with the baby while you spend time with the older kids in the afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Its a bit late to worry about it now.

[Anonymous]

OP, what you worry about may happen. And it may be ok.

I do like PP suggestion for you to schedule time to be the older ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll say here what I said there. Get an afternoon nanny. They can stay with the baby while you spend time with the older kids in the afternoon.

So stupid

Just handle and raise your own kids. I have 5 kids and never needed a nanny. They aren't china. They don't have to be on the strictest of schedules 24/7. Why are moms so anxious. It truly rubs off on your kids. They are so much more flexible than you think and will be better behaved when things don't go as planned.

[Anonymous]

How is this even a big age gap. I had 1 every 5 years for a total of 3 kids over 15 years. THAT is still not even that big of an age gap and they are all just fine. Oldest is in ES now and nothing crazy happened.

[Anonymous]

Unless the older ones are almost six and almost four, that's not a big age gap. My older two were 4.5 and 2.5 when the third was born, and it's been totally fine. Yeah, sometimes the older two do things together without the youngest, but he's getting old enough to keep up.

I do think the whole "kids learn to sleep wherever" is kind of BS, because not all kids do learn to sleep wherever. We split up to prioritize the youngest's nap when we needed to. Our youngest is not temperamentally the easiest, but being rigid about his sleep has helped, since at least he's not sleep-deprived.

[Anonymous]

How is that a big age gap? Five year’s between first and third is totally normal, or even close in age, not big.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is that a big age gap? Five year’s between first and third is totally normal, or even close in age, not big.

Op here - first born will turn 5 about 3 weeks after baby is born. Second kid is 3.5 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll say here what I said there. Get an afternoon nanny. They can stay with the baby while you spend time with the older kids in the afternoon.

So stupid

Just handle and raise your own kids. I have 5 kids and never needed a nanny. They aren't china. They don't have to be on the strictest of schedules 24/7. Why are moms so anxious. It truly rubs off on your kids. They are so much more flexible than you think and will be better behaved when things don't go as planned.

Huh? Who said anything about being anxious? I am not an anxious parent. But I found it useful to let the baby keep napping rather than wake her at 1:45 to pick my middle school kids up a little after 2pm and then cart them around for a few hours. Then I could come home to two loads of laundry washed and folded. I'm sorry you didn't have any help with five kids. I have four and found having a nanny very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your second a boy or a girl? I think that’s what I’d be most worried about. If a girl, then she will probably be helpful. Of a boy, then he probably won’t be thrilled with a replacement.

[Anonymous]

That’s not a big age gap, it’s a normal one. I have the same spread but girl boy boy. I think you’ll find the girls are closer to each other than they are their brother but that’s a function of the sex spread not the age.