I feel like going to visit is much easier than having visitors

[Anonymous]

People here always say the inlaws/family should come visit them, especially on holidays, instead of expecting a visit. I get along well with my inlaws and am fine with them coming to visit, but I would much rather be the one traveling. Cost is the only factor that would give me pause, but having company can be pretty expensive too. When you have guests, you need to take care of your kids, the household, plus meet the needs of your guests. When you travel, you just need to take care of your kids and help out the household, which is much less work. Especially if you’re talking thanksgiving? Hosting is much harder than traveling!

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on how easily your kids travel. When we stay home, our kids schedules don’t get messed up and everyone sleeps in their own beds. My kids can play with their own stuff in their own rooms. We also don’t have other kids their age in our families, so it’s not like they get to go play with cousins. I have no problem with bringing in prepared foods or going out to eat.

[Anonymous]

Depends. I prefer hosting right now with little kids (4 and newborn). They can have their rooms and their naps and food they are used to. We have people over for dinner all the time anyway so visitors are easy and just another meal. Granted my parents and inlaws are very cool and helpful and while I cater to them, they are ok being on our schedule or go off on their own

[Anonymous]

It costs me $4500 at a minimum to visit my family - plane tickets, rental car, hotel rooms, eating out. (My parents no longer “host.”)

That’s waaaay less than I spent on Thanksgiving.

Plus I don’t have to deal with toddlers and a three hour time change, which means no one sleeps for a week!

[Anonymous]

It's all circumstantial. There are a lot of trade-offs, either way.

[Anonymous]

F no but I have an infant and a toddler. I outsource what I can if we’re hosting a big group as we did for thanksgiving and am very organized/prep in advance.

Traveling with very young kids is a pain in the butt and we have so much stuff, and the routine is all out of whack / sleeping arrangements are new, it’s not fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on how easily your kids travel. When we stay home, our kids schedules don’t get messed up and everyone sleeps in their own beds. My kids can play with their own stuff in their own rooms. We also don’t have other kids their age in our families, so it’s not like they get to go play with cousins. I have no problem with bringing in prepared foods or going out to eat.

This. We used to enjoy travel with just one kid, but kid 2 gets horribly car sick and is at the stage where she is climbing everything. My parents' house is practically a death trap. Pills and coins lying everywhere. No baby gates. Delicate glass knick-knacks abound. Etc. It's worth it to visit even though it's difficult and exhausting. The kids love being there, my parents enjoy having them, sometimes my siblings come in with same-age cousins, etc. It's great. But exhausting. Staying home is definitely easier for us.

[Anonymous]

Yup, I agree for difficult family members it’s easier to go there, because then we are in control and can go out/leave when we need to. When they’re at my house, I’m no longer in control of my alone time because I feel a need to host.

[Anonymous]

ARE YOU ALL INSANE? it's always easier to stay home. period.

[Anonymous]

I am with OP. Much prefer traveling to someone to having them in my space and having to think about all the meals, clean up, etc. I'd much rather help out in someone else's house than have the stress of being responsible for it all.

[Anonymous]

^^^ same, I'm not a full introvert, but I hit a wall after a few hrs of socializing. Easier to leave than kicking ppl out or resort to hiding in my room.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how large the parents house is. My parents have 4 guest rooms (including the rooms my siblings had growing up) and it’s just easy there. We spread out. At in-laws there are two bedrooms for 8 of us and one bathroom. Kids nap horribly, everyone sleeps badly, etc. maybe it will be different when we’re out of baby stage. It’s very miserable due to house size. And no, we can’t get hotels. In-laws flipped out when we mentioned it and dh was mad at me. Plus if we got a hotel, we’d be there constantly. My youngest naps twice and then goes to bed at 7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^ same, I'm not a full introvert, but I hit a wall after a few hrs of socializing. Easier to leave than kicking ppl out or resort to hiding in my room.

No we are talking about house guests vs being a house guest. Not just having someone for a few hours. It’s normally a few days

[Anonymous]

Depends of the kids situation. With naps it’s easier to host. With older kids it’s easier to travel. Extroverts host easily. Introverts travel well and escape when overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

OP is right. We are on day 6 of hosting my husbands family in our house. Currently 8 of us but the first 4 days there were 12 and on day 5 my in laws came to visit. I have a 2 yr old and 10 week old. From my perspective it was a LOT more work and stress to prep our house for that many visitors and it’s been a lot more stress on my toddler to constantly have cousins in her space, sharing her toys etc. I’m lucky that my mom lives near by and could come get my toddler for breaks now and again. BUT I’m still glad we had them come. We’ve been in our house less than a year and obviously have a new baby so it’s been nice to have everyone come enjoy things and places that matter to us. But I think OP is right that it would have been way less work to just pack the kids up and travel and to have left the house in disarray and not be responsible for 3 meals a day for a dozen people, cleaning, activities, helping my kids de-stress when everything is noisy etc.