Can barely talk to each other. Is there any hope for us?

[Anonymous]

Do we have a chance? I’ve been more and more unhappy with relationship with DH, and over the last couple years, I’ve stopped trying to work on it because I realized I’m the only one who was putting in the effort to make our relationship work. I honestly can’t remember when DH last made an effort to spend time with me, said something supportive, or remembered an anniversary without a reminder. Once I stopped setting up our date nights, sending him reminders, and suggesting we spend more time together, everything has pretty much fizzled out. We barely talk anymore. We barely acknowledge each other.

I’ve given up on trying to discuss anything with him, because I know he has to be right and will put me down and say something mean just to win, and then I’ll only resent him more. It’s gotten to the point where I really feel like I can’t say anything anymore without him getting defensive.

I’m starting to wonder if I really want to spend the rest of my life with someone who so obviously could care less. The incredible thing is he doesn’t know anything is wrong with our relationship. I can’t say anything to him because he gets so defensive if I even insinuate that I’m unhappy with something. I’ve given up talking to him about pretty much anything unless absolutely necessary.

So is there hope?

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids? If not, the answer is clear. If you do, figure out how much of an asset he is as a co-parent and decide accordingly. If you decide to stay, don’t expect him to turn into someone he isn’t.

[Anonymous]

Unless you want to give marriage counseling a go, this doesn't sound too good. Would he be open to go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? If not, the answer is clear. If you do, figure out how much of an asset he is as a co-parent and decide accordingly. If you decide to stay, don’t expect him to turn into someone he isn’t.

Yes we have kids. He is a great father in some ways, and in other ways, I am truly afraid to die and leave them in his care. He has poor sense, is extreme, and is incapable of some basic life skills, let alone handling the myriad of things around raising children. He makes zero social effort-so kids would be isolated, and he is self centered and stubborn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you want to give marriage counseling a go, this doesn't sound too good. Would he be open to go?

I’ve urged him to consider it on two different occasions, but basically, no- he is not open to counseling.

[Anonymous]

I could have written the same post. Add in my DH doesn’t like my parents and has no interest in my friends. I’m having to do a lot of things solo now.

[Anonymous]

You have a chance but it's put up time. You make it absolutely clear that a lawyer has been consulted and the status quo will not continue.

[Anonymous]

No