Anyone Feel This Way?
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Anonymous
| I’m 37 and pregnant with my first child. I will turn 38 right after I deliver in May. I didn’t meet my husband until I was 34 and after being a nanny for 10 years, I knew I would not them until I was absolutely ready to commit to it fully. Some of our friends have kids already, and some are having kids now too. Part of me feels like I shouldn’t have waited so long, but I definitely didn’t want to have kids with anyone besides my husband. I was always on the fence since being a nanny have me a real life look into what I was getting myself into with at least infancy through preschool years. We want one more child and I don’t know if that is possible at my age. I’m happy that I’m older and feel like I can put most things aside to devote all my attention to raise my child, but I wish I would have started a little sooner because I wanted two. |
Anonymous
| So you want to go back in time and change the age of when you give birth? You can’t! Deal and move on |
Anonymous
| I think you have time to have two. Just hurry. There are benefits to being older but I do wish I delivered at 35 not 38. The 40s hit me hard- I’m tired! |
Anonymous
Shut up. No one asked for your snarky advice. |
Anonymous
| You have time. I had mine later (34 and 38) and am still considering a third at 41. If I had had them earlier it would have meant no career. |
Anonymous
No need to be snarky, but what the PP is saying it true. I had my kids at 36 and 40. Do I wish I could have started earlier? Yes. But I didn't get married until 34 and we didn't want kids immediately. So that's just the way it was. No need to ponder a different life when the options weren't available to you. |
Anonymous
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I think a lot of us feel that way, but you do what you can do. I always pictured getting married at 26 or 27 and having kids at 30 and 32. Yes, I was quite specific in my timelines. I didn't want to be as old as my mom when she had kids (34 and 36). That's not how it worked out, though! I got married at 29 and had my kids at 33 and 37. I wish I'd been able to have them younger, but we wanted a couple of years with no kids, plus I switched jobs at 30 and needed to put in 2 years to get tenure (fed). And then it took a year to get pregnant with the first. And then ran into secondary infertility with the second. And there you have it. 30s gone in a flash. That's life.
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Anonymous
| OP here. I know I'm not the only one that feels this way. I'm happy where I'm at, and I feel like there is an advantage to having kids later in life. I am finically stable, stable marriage, and I can devote my time to focusing on my child. I can take off time or work part-time for the first year. My mom had all of her kids ( 6) by the time she was 30, but I was don't think I would want kids at that age, even if I married younger. |
Anonymous
| just have your kid and focus on that. |
Anonymous
| You have time to have two. |
Anonymous
| You still have time for a second. Advice—Make fitness and health a priority- easier said than done with a newborn. But your better financial position may allow it more easily. Give your body a chance to recover and then get strong. You’ll recover quicker and have more energy. I had my youngest at age 39. |
Anonymous
| Sure I wish I'd been younger too - had one and only at 39. It is what it is though. |
Anonymous
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I think you’ll be able to have a second if you move quickly, but I understand how you feel.
I’m a little surprised that women haven’t figured it out though. The older you get, the harder it gets. The key is to strike the right balance. Personally, I don’t think having two in diapers is easy (btdt...and you definitely aren’t giving your best effort). We have 4. I had my first at 29 and my fourth at 38. The bigger the gap, the more attention the kids get. Women really need to reject the myth that you can delay pregnancy until late 30s/early 40s. It’s not a given that your fertility will last; for those who easily got pregnant late in the game, you got genetically lucky (there are medical journal articles that basically call those women super breeders). |
Anonymous
You're just feeling crazy because you're pregnant. Ignore yourself. 
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Anonymous
| I wish I had been able to have one child. So. |